Konosuba x Male Reader

A Loving Hand in The Winter

(Y/n): Have a nice day!

You shouted to the customer leaving the shop. Yes after the rather traumatic experience you had dealt with in your last outing you had found yourself working in a quaint little magic shop. It was quite relaxing, to be honest. It was nice and warm, a great way to relax with some tea and it even offered-

???: I'll tell ya.

The door opened with a creak as two adventurers entered. 

???: What?

(Y/n): Can I hel-

???: I took that job, but the guy neglected to tell me the area would be filled with traps!

All the color drained from your face. You nearly dropped the container you were holding as your hands began to shake violently. You took a deep breath and slowly placed the container down. Then you bolted towards a figure in a purple dress.

(Y/n): Wiz!

The brown-haired girl turned to you with a look of concern before you crashed into her holding her close. Oh yeah, by the way, the other thing the shop had was... therapy.

Wiz: Did you think of it again?

You nodded against her with tears in your eyes. The kind girl wrapped her arms around you and cuddled you close. She knew of your trauma and was doing her best to help. You turned your face and rested your cheek against her breast. You had met the girl while on a quest with the others whereupon you learned she was, in fact, an undead lich. However, she didn't seem undead nor did she have rotting flesh so it didn't bother you. As you cuddled with Wiz you managed to calm down from your flashback. 

???: -listen gracefully when a goddess speaks!

You looked to the door to find Kazuma and Aqua walking in. Wiz jumped in fear as Aqua saw the both of you. She let out a cry before rushing forward. Startled, you detached from Wiz as Aqua charged toward her grabbing dress and shaking her.

Aqua: Why are you hugging (Y/n), you damned undead?! You opened a shop here?

(Y/n): A-Aqua could you please stop shaking her?

Aqua glared at you making you retract. 

Aqua: I'll burn this shop to the ground in the name of the goddess-

Aqua was promptly hit over the head with the scabbard of a blade. She clutched her head to reveal it had been Kazuma who had struck the goddess. Deciding to leave the three to there own devices you snuck off into the back room to brew some tea to relax your muscles.

Timeskip.

After a lot of yelling, stories, and Aqua attempting to eliminate Wiz multiple times it was time for you to clock out and return with the group. An old man had rushed in asking for assistance with his house or something, but you had something else in mind. As Aqua and Kazuma were leaving you turned to Wiz to ask her something. For some reason, she was sorta see-through but you decided to ignore.

(Y/n): Hey Wiz?

Wiz: Yes?

(Y/n): Well I was wondering...

You rubbed the back of your neck as a blush tinted your cheeks. 

(Y/n)'s Brain: You can do this! I believe you!

(Y/n): I was wondering if...

You took a breath and clutched your hands together in front of you. 

(Y/n): I was wondering if we could go on a-

Kazuma: It's time to go (Y/n).

A hand gripped the back of your neck. Your voice gurgled in your throat as you felt the strength and energy in your body seemingly be sapped. You felt yourself fall forward, but you were caught and one pair of hands lifted your legs while the other lifted your hands.

Kazuma: See ya later, Wiz!

Wiz: Bye Bye!

Aqua: Geez (Y/n), have you gotten heavier?

(Y/n): *Gargling noises*

Timeskip.

(Y/n): You guys are so mean...

You stood next to the rest of your party in front of a mansion. You were ignored, partly because of conversations and partly because the others had heard from Aqua that you had attempted to ask out Wiz. Darkness gripped your arm and pulled your forward as Aqua went off on a rant from what she could see of the house's past. As you arrived inside Kazuma decided it would be best to clean the old manor if it was to ever be livable again. So after hours of cleaning it finally seemed rid of its dust.

Kazuma: Looks like that takes care of the cleaning. 

Darkness: We've decided the room arrangements, and we've carried in the luggage, all that's left is to wait till nighttime.

Kazuma opened the window and your party could still hear Aqua outside retelling the story of the manor. Then Kazuma promptly closed the window again. He turned to the group with a smile and spoke.

Kazuma: Okay, everyone's free to do as they please from now on. Call out as soon as an evil spirit shows up. Dismissed!

Nighttime approached rapidly as your group settled into their new home. you had arrived at your room and changed into some night clothes. The bed under you felt heavenly as you enjoyed the softness of an actual bed for the first time since before your death. You were lulled to sleep as the manor and night filled with shouts of Aqua yelling "Turn Undead". She sounds really angry for some reason though.

Some time had passed in your sleep. You had been sleeping peacefully when a lot of screaming had woken you from your slumber. You mumbled angrily as you rolled out of bed and crawled toward the door before pulling yourself to your feet to open it.

(Y/n): Why is everyone-

Kazuma ran past you tugging on the arm of Megumin who had no pants on. 

(Y/n): Running?

You leaned out and looked after them before turning. Then a doll jumped and latched onto your face. You stood silently for a few seconds before realizing what had just happened.

(Y/n): AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

You ripped the doll off your face and punted it down the hall as you took off down the hall following Kazuma and Megumin. As you ran terrified down the hall screaming to your heart's content, you lost the two along the way. Presumably, they had found a hiding spot, but you were not so lucky. Your legs grew tired as you finally managed to run int Aqua and Darkness, quite literally. You ran face first into Darkness's cleavage, but you happened to be too scared to notice and simply clung to the crusader ranting about dolls and evil spirits. At the notion evil, Aqua took off down the hall towards the dolls screaming about liquor while Darkness held onto a duster and consoled you. This had simply been one of the weirdest days in your unlife, but you were glad that it would soon be over. Hey at least once the spirits were gone you could stay in the house so maybe things will calm down soon! You will have to go get your chips, but that's for another time.

A/n: I will not lie, this has been one of the weirder things I have written in my two years of being on Wattpad, but it was fun! If you guys enjoyed the chapter please don't be afraid to leave a comment and I'll see you in the next update. Farewell!