Trigger Warning- Mention of Sexual Assault
"So he told you he loved you? When you were fucking him?" James laughs at my predicament, his lips sealed between the spliff we're currently sharing as he inhales more smoke.
I bring my hands up to my face, burying my head as I shake it profoundly into my palms, reflecting on everything that has happened in the last few hours.
I had to leave Daniel's, I couldn't stay there any longer. I didn't return his confession and I already felt guilty enough, I didn't want to risk ruining the situation anymore.
So instead of dealing with my problems like a mature person who's actually worthy of dating Daniel, I rang James and asked him to pick me up.
I didn't know what to do and I know that James is the only person I want to talk to about this. He's one of my best friends, I trust that he'll tell me how much of a dick I've been. But also, he's done way worse than me so I guess I also rang him to feel better about myself.
We're currently sat on the grass of his small garden reclining against the white walls of his home. It's quite a big house, a similar size to mine. It's not very extravagantly decorated, also like mine. We both have large houses because we both have big families, not because we can afford to size up on everything like Stephanie can.
I lay with my head in my hands, my tone blank as I continue to confess my sins to James, of all people.
"Yeah, right when I was inside him he just decides to go and confess his love for me," I whisper back, my tone frustrated as I inhale a sharp breath.
The smell of smoke fills the air as James exhales, whistling slightly as the fumes escape his lips. The whistle soon twists into a low chuckle, and I can hear from the tone of his laughter that he's making fun of me right now.
Dick. I came here to forget about everything and just get high. I need a distraction, and seen as Daniel can't give me that right now, I thought James would be my best bet.
"It's not funny, man," I warn him, my tone stern as I sit up to face him. "My boyfriend just told me he loves me and I didn't even say it back."
James' smirk grows as his tongue swipes over his lower lip, and he shakes his head at me as he hands me the spliff.
I take it in my hand and bring it to my mouth, inhaling the smoke and holding it for a few seconds, allowing it to sit in my mouth and mix with my senses before I exhale it slowly and watch as the vapour colours the air in front of me a light shade of grey.
"I fucked the whole thing up," I say, my tone blank and full of reflection as I inhale more of James' weed. "Fuck, I'm such a dick."
James' hand moves to my shoulder, squeezing it slightly as he smiles at me, it's not a condescending smirk or a mocking half smile, this time he smiles with compassion.
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