Trigger Warning- Sexual coercion, mention of dark/intrusive thoughts, minor depiction of self harm. Please don't read this chapter if you may be triggered by the above, it's more important to look after your mental health than read this chapter.
"Chloe, can I see you in my office please?" Kate asks me, addressing me directly in front of the entire team.
I instantly flash red with embarrassment, my palms becoming clamy with sweat as I feel the adrenaline surge through my body.
I know exactly what she wants to talk about, I still owe her $150 for regionals and she's already given me the biggest extension that she possibly can.
I thought I'd have enough money, I really did. But our boiler broke and we couldn't have any hot water for a week, my parents couldn't afford to pay it and so I helped out by using the rest of the money I earned from Chris to heat the house once again.
It sucked because if the boiler hadn't have broken then I'd be able to pay for regionals and have spare money left over to put towards my college fund.
I'm in the last year of high school, and like most of the team I'm looking into higher eduction. I don't just want to go to a regular university though, I'd love to go to ballet school, but it's triple the price.
I've been trying to save up for it since I was fourteen, but every time I have some sort of stash, I always end up having to donate it to whatever monetary problem that my family runs into that month.
It's fine, I'd rather help support myself and my family than end up out on the streets, but a little part of me has always wished that I could just be a normal teenager who doesn't have to worry about money.
Most kids here have probably never even thought about whether or not there will be food for them on the table when they arrive home from dance, never mind knowing the feeling of being wrapped in blankets upon blankets for warmth because you can't afford to pay the bills. They don't know the feeling of having to shower in the studio or at school because your parents can't afford to pay the water bills.
It sucks, it really does, but it's my life, so there's also no point dwelling on my predicament, it won't change anything. It'd be more beneficial to try and help out to improve our situation than to just sit back and complain all day.
When I earned my money from Chris, I was ecstatic because for the first time in my life I actually thought I'd be able to attend ballet school, I had a sliver of hope that all of my dreams are actually going to come true.
But then of course my boiler had to break down, and I had to give up my savings. Again, I'd rather be warm and work as a waitress for the rest of my life than be cold and a professional dancer.
I have priorities of course, and as much as I'd like it to be, dance just isn't one of them right now.
I inhale a deep breath, gathering my thoughts in an attempt to calm myself down. I feel my brows pull down in an involuntary attempt to act casual in front of the rest of the team.
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