Words And Secrets

Shiva

One name, innumerable existences.

There is a darkness in me
The sharp lust scratching my heart
There is a light in me
The soothing love healing my heart.

One is your darkness, Shiva, and the other your own light.

I embody passion. I store in my bosom
An energy restless, yet calming
Like an ocean sleeping
Ready to break stones upon the shore in a storm.

You embody roughness, extremes
You embody ghosts and ghouls
Spirits unholy even
Also death and rebirth.

You too, have a light inside like me
Which came out when She came to you
I too, thus, seek a male entity
The male embodiment of Shakti
To tame my soul
Moulding me into pleasant love
And not cuts bleeding.

You are a God.
I am a mortal
You are exalted
I am bordering on vices
You are a yogi
I am an ignorant soul
You, the beautiful Chandrasekhara
I, the filthy Māyā.

Whom none understands in its depth
But you take me, don't you?
With my dark and light?

Do I remind you of yourself?
Of even the ugliness in you
Or even the camphor-white enchantment?

You have never come to my dreams.
Or have you?
I haven't seen you in your glory
I used to see your Shakti in my dreams
As Kalika, but now even she is lost.

It feels empty.

I know my worth. I have seen the hints and clues you send me
But somehow, I cannot acknowledge their exalted beauty and brilliancy now
I feel gloomy and desolate.

Like Rājan did. He had everything around him, with me
Only one wasn't there.

Can I not be redeemed like he did?
Can I not be punished sweetly like he was?

Can I not be taken to the sky of love like he had been?

I am not good at wishing things
For thoughts of tragedy come to my mind

Does that mean you will never listen to me?

Or am I not able to hear?

I wish to see love, feel love and be taken somewhere glorious

Where, even if I am not the ruler of heavens,
I have a shed of love over my head.