we aren't simple - l.s

Chapter 56

and I'll be here for you

Harry's POV
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There is a knock on my hotel room door. I'm lying in bed curled up in a ball.

"Come in." I call, knowing the boys already have key to my room.

The sound of the door swinging open and the footsteps of people walking in fills the room. I feel the bed dip beside me, and I see Liam and Zayn walk into my view.

I haven't really left my room, unless it's for a concert or soundcheck. I go with the boys to meals but barely eat anything and barely speak.

I can tell they are worried about me. I'm worried about me. I haven't acted like this since Jason.

Louis was so different from him. So perfect and beautiful. He made me feel special, like I was worth something. He listened when I spoke and asked permission before making love.

I love him. And he's not here.

I don't even know if he loves me. He didn't answer when I told him. I just wish I knew if he was okay.

I'm looking past Liam who is crouching down in front of me so your eyes can meet.

"Harry," Liam starts, glancing at Zayn for a moment. "we know you are hurting, but what your doing isn't healthy."

I don't say anything. He sighs.

"We know you miss Louis. We all do. We understand what you're going-"

"No you don't." I say softly. That's the first thing I have said to them outside of a concert.

I feel Niall, on the bed behind me, reach out and touch my back comfortingly.

"You didn't fall in love with him." I whisper. "Your days didn't become brighter the second you met him. You didn't feel the hope I felt when he was there telling management to fuck off. You weren't there when he helped me."

They are all silent for a moment. There has been so much silence lately. Too much. I don't want silence anymore. But no matter where I go it always seems to follow.

"No we weren't." Zayn says. "But we are here now."

I finally look at him, then to Liam. Then I start to laugh. "No your not."

They both frown. "You don't even know why I passed out in the first place. You don't know why I had a panic attack at that interview. And you certainly have no idea what Katlyn says to me when we come of stage and you all run to your dressing rooms."

Silence again.

They are looking at each other and not at me. I look away from them again. I know I'm pulling away, but I don't care. They don't understand.

For a moment I feel like they will leave. When they do, I know I'll cry, because I succeeded at pushing more people I care about away.

But they don't leave.

Instead they all come to sit in front of me on the floor.

"Then tell us." Niall says.

- - - - - - -

There is another silence that sits in the room when I'm finished. Like the breath of air you take when coming out of water. Like the stillness of the air just moments after a storm.

"We can't let them get away with it." Liam says. "We have to find a way to leave."

"There is no way." I say softly. "They trapped us in that bloody contract when we were sixteen and seventeen."

"Then we will just have to find a way to force them out." Niall says.

"Like what?" Zayn chuckles darkly. "There's not much we can do."

I watch as Liam reaches out and holds his hand. I've never seen them be affectionate when they aren't drunk. Zayn looks at me nervously, when he notices me watching the action.

"It's okay mate." I say. "I'm glad you guys finally worked it out."

They both smile, but it soon fades.

"There really is nothing we can do." Liam looks down. "I'm mean the only time we have any control is during concerts, or when we're live on a show or something."

Another pause where we are all thinking.

"That's it!" Niall exclaims suddenly making us all jump. "I have an idea."

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I'm writing all the fun stuff now get excited 😁😁😁

tpwk ❤️❤️