we aren't simple - l.s

Chapter 53

and i'm off my face

Louis' POV
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I knock on the door of the hotel room. I hear someone inside call out saying they will be there in a moment.

When the door opens Eleanor is standing in from of me.

"I didn't know where else to go, I couldn't go home." I stumble over my words talking quickly, my cheeks are still coated with dry tears.

"Oh Lou," She gasps coming forward. "Come in, it's okay."

I sniff. "Thank you."

I walk into the room, and curl up on the bed. After I left I went straight to the airport, I knew Eleanor was in Amsterdam. I mean of course she had to be in Amsterdam, a place I just went to with Harry.

I'm still wearing the all black sweats and hoodie I put on to hide while I was at the airport. I feel like I'm still hiding from the world. I want to hide for a little while longer before anyone else notices, I'm gone.

I feel the bed dip by my feet.

"Lou," Eleanor says softly. "do you want to talk about it?"

There are tears in my eyes again, a few escape running down my cheeks. I shake my head.

"I can't." I croak out, my voice tight from so much crying. "Not yet."

"Okay," She answers softly, touching my calf in hopes to calm me a little. It doesn't work. "I'll be right here when you need me."

- - - - - - -

I told her on the second day I was there. It's now the fourth day. I haven't left the hotel room. I didn't eat anything for two days then devoured a whole pizza in twenty minutes.

My plan for today it the same as yesterday and the day before. The same as my plan for tomorrow and all future days. Nothing. But not in the fun way I used to enjoy, in the lay in bed curled in a ball for the rest of my existence kind of way.

I stopped crying yesterday, I can't cry anymore. I want to but it feels like there are no more tears left in my body.

Eleanor keeps trying to get me to leave the hotel and go outside. Or at least step out of the hotel room and eat lunch with her at the hotel restaurant. I haven't though, I'm not ready to do anything yet. The most movement I have done is getting up to go to the bathroom.

I'm just about to roll over so my head is resting on the cold side of the pillow when Eleanor barges into the room.

"Okay come on get up." She says, pulling the covers off the bed.

"No." I groan.

"Yes," I see her go over to my suitcase and start puling out clothing of mine. "We are going out for drinks tonight."

"Sounds fun, you should do that alone. Go pick up some hot chicks." I tell her.

"Okay, never say that again." She throws clothing at my face. "Get changed."

"El I don't want to go out." I whine, pushing the clothes of my face.

"Too bad, if you aren't changed and ready by the time I am out of the toilet I'm going to drag you out of this hotel room and you will get drinks wearing what you are right now."

I look down at my superman pyjamas that she made me change into the first night I was here.

"And just so you know, their fans have figured out that you aren't with them anymore so they are on a man hunt for you. If they find you, your picture will be all over the internet." I groan flopping back onto the pillow. "So, unless you want the first picture they see of you to be you dressed as a five year old at Christmas I suggest you get your ass out of bed and get changed."

She closes the door to the bathroom. I roll my eyes when I know she can't see me anymore.

"And don't roll your eyes at me!" She calls from in the bathroom.

I huff. I look at the clothes she picked out for me. I haven't worn them around Harry. I bought some more clothes before going on tour with the boys and I never got the chance to wear it all with them. At least there aren't any memories attached to them yet.

Maybe this won't be so bad. If all goes to shit I get super drunk and pass out in the hotel when El drags me out of there.

When Eleanor finally emerges from the toilet I'm dressed. My hair is not a complete mess and my shoes are already on.

"Oh thank god," She sighs in relief. "I didn't think I would be strong enough to pull you out of that bed."

I give her a weak smile. She has been trying to get me to smile since I got here. That has been the first time since I... yeah.

- - - - - -

I am so incredibly drunk right now, my words are slurring and I don't even know what I'm saying. El is being annoying, she won't let me call Harry.

She keeps trying to give me this clear liquid that tastes nothing like vodka. She also keeps saying something about cameras and film, maybe we are going to watch a film about cameras when we get back to the hotel. That would be kind of boring.

Well anything is better then thinking about Harry. Oh Harry, my beautiful boyfriend. Is he even still my boyfriend? We didn't talk about it.

We just had sex when I was crying and then I left while crying. I took a plane while crying. A cab, while still crying. And then I lied in a very uncomfortable bed while crying until I couldn't anymore. And now, for some reason I feel like I should be crying again. I can't though, I also feel like I need to vomit.

Everything around me is so blurry. I was really sweaty a moment ago but now I feel slightly cooler. I think I'm outside now. Cool. I like being outside. Less people for me to vomit on.

You know what would be fun. If Eleanor and I went on an adventure. Maybe... TOKYO! I've never been there before, neither has she. Sounds fun. We should do that. I haven't been there with Harry either.

Maybe I'll see him their. I'll just have to stare into a crowd of faces and his will most likely be there.

I'm kind of tiered. I'm lying on something soft now. It's not comfortable but it's soft. Probably a bed. Good thing I'm tiered.

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and the plot thickens... 🤔

tpwk ❤️❤️