Ella ○ Harry Potter

Sixty Seven: Actual Plot Again

Ella couldn't sleep after Sirius' words, that he whispered half asleep.

"I couldn't sleep or eat with you gone, Mini Prongs. I'm so glad you're here, I can finally breathe again."

These words played in her mind throughout the whole night. What could she do? It was too much. Yet, it was just enough. The hunger started to gnaw at her. Her stomach was rumbling, but her heart wasn't quiet either. She was insatiable. She turned in her bed, it must've been three hours of Sirius steadily snoring when she finally took the bag from her bedside drawer. 

One line, she'd read a bit, and then fall asleep. That was it.

She entered the shared bathroom she had with Sirius, that was surprisingly tidy with her gone for so long. She was glad Yamac only stared at her worriedly as he went to his own room to sleep in, and she was glad that the Dee-Talbot thing was real. And that there were extra rooms for people to sleep in.

She locked the door silently behind her, slowly, so she wouldn't get caught by Sirius.

"Just a little bit," she muttered as her fingers trembled, opening the bag. "Still got it under control, Snape'll never know."

::

The door to their room opened with a loud bang, and for a moment Sirius was just about prepared to shoot a curse, when he spotted Snape. He was then prepared to shoot the killing curse.

"What are you doing here, Snivellus?" he sneered, jumping out of the top bunk. Ella, who always snored, snored even louder now. Sirius dismissed it as a runny nose and figured that in a few days everything will be back to normal.

"I am here to follow up on a promise Grey's made me," he said, not even looking at his teenage nemesis. 

"It's not your house, back off," Sirius almost growled, shaking with fury. He was a moment from throwing punches.

"She is my student, Black. Make sure you remember it before you go barking up the wrong tree." Yamac, unable to not hear what was going on, joined them, but Ella was yet to wake up. 

"What is going on?" Yamac asked.

"Grey is wandering the school under the influence, and I am here to see if she's kept her promise to throw anything she still had away." Yamac nodded. 

"She says she didn't bring anything," he informed, but the disbelief in their eyes was apparent.

"You'd be foolish to trust an addict." Sirius looked between the two of them.

"You two are mad." he dismissed. "She's sick and grieving, and that's all there is to it."

"Grey," Snape was about to step in, when Yamac raised his arm to stop him, and both Snape and Sirius allowed him to step through and sit at Ella's bed. His gentle hand touched her shoulder, just barely waking her up. 

"Ella," he spoke ever so gently, as though he never wanted to disturb her but was obliged to. "Wake up please."

Her brown eyes fluttered open. For a moment, all she saw was a wall that was a blur of stone and shadow that made no sense. Confusion trickled through her like cold water. Where was she?

Her brain lagged behind her body, and it took several long seconds to register that she was back at Hogwarts. Right. The dormitory. Her bed. The air felt heavy, her tongue dry and metallic. Her heart thudded unevenly, too fast for how still she'd been. She licked her lips, and was painfully aware that her breath was sour.

She turned her head toward the voice, Yamac, and the two men in the room. Their faces looked oddly distant, like she was watching them through a glass pane. She blinked slowly, dazed, her limbs heavy and her thoughts half-formed.

Still not entirely present, she pushed herself up with a sluggish breath, rubbing at her face. Her skin felt clammy.

"What time is it?" she mumbled, her voice rough like gravel. The question didn't even matter. She didn't feel ready to be awake.

"It's seven thirty," Snape drawled. She nodded, her muscles feeling almost like jelly. 

"Rough night Prongs?" Sirius wondered, half joking and deeply worried.

"Yeah," she rubbed her face. Snape's eyes bore into her forehead, and she suddenly felt him in her head. She felt her eyes widen, and she looked at him in terror. "No!" she shrieked, and unable to do anything else, simply started hitting her own head, before he could find the memories of last night. He couldn't know, she can't be a liar. 

Her fists hit her forehead with panicked, erratic force.

"No! Stop it!" Sirius shouted, lunging forward and grabbing her wrists. She thrashed instinctively, eyes wide and glassy, like a cornered animal. Wasn't that in reality all she was? "Ella, it's okay, it's okay, no one's in your head,"

"Let go of me!" she screamed, jerking away. Her chest was heaving. Her heart thundered against her ribs, and the walls of the room seemed to tilt.

Snape straightened, his face unreadable, but he stepped back. "Already did," he said flatly, as though offended she'd even suggest it.

Her breath caught. She stared at him, trembling, shame rising like bile in her throat.

Sirius had her by the shoulders now, but more gently. "You're safe. It's okay, Ella. You're safe." Yamac exchanged a glance with Snape. They didn't need to check her memory- her shame, her behavior, she was clearly hiding it, yet obviously did it.

"I'm not a liar," she whispered and her voice broke, not even sure if she was saying it aloud.

"You didn't lie," Sirius said firmly, even though he didn't know what she meant. "You're just tired, alright? That's all. It's over."

Her hands dropped limply into her lap, and her body sagged like a puppet with cut strings. Her vision blurred.

"Black, I get that you are often blinded by relationships," Snape stepped closer, "but unfortunately, Ella is a drug addict." Ella's eyes snapped to him, she shook her head silently, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You promised you'd throw away anything you had with you. Clearly, not only it was lie, but you also used again last night."

"No," she tried, but nothing else came out.

"Clearly," Snape said, turning toward the door, "Grey requires more than friendly supervision."

Sirius was still in a daze, unable to process the words and their meanings. "She needs help," Yamac added, his voice softer. "Real help."

Sirius's jaw clenched, but he said nothing.

Ella couldn't breathe. The shame was everywhere, beneath her skin, behind her eyes, in the pit of her stomach. And she was caught,

"You lied to me," Snape said, pausing at the door. Ella felt herself shrinking, like she might disappear. That was all she hoped for. "But worse, you lied to yourself."

He left, Yamac following.

The door shut behind him with a click that felt louder than any scream.

Sirius sat beside her, but didn't speak.

"I can't," was all he said, before he too, left her alone.

Always alone.