Ella ○ Harry Potter

Sixty Six: As We Are

Ella kept her head down as they entered the Great Hall. Sirius and Yamac guarded her sides, a little too close, like she might vanish if they didn't keep her in check, and she might have. 

The moment she stepped inside, the usual soundscape, clatter of plates, overlapping chatter, laughter, it all hit her like a wall. She hadn't been here for a long time. And she couldn't remember the last time she sat for dinner with everyone. Cedric was still by her side the last time she did. 

Fred and George were the first to notice. They always were. Fred's brown eyes filled with tears, but George's rage was quicker to appear.

Their conversation stuttered to a stop mid-joke. George stood so abruptly his bench screeched back against the stone floor.

Fred narrowed his eyes. "You've got to be kidding."

Ella winced, she deserved it. She knew it.

"Look who came back," George muttered, storming toward her. "So you're back."

Fred was right behind him. "You think you can disappear for weeks, make everyone sick with worry, and then just waltz in like, what? Like nothing happened?"

"No, I, everything happened, I-"

The Great Hall was starting to go quiet around them. Yamac took a step forward, but didn't know what to say. He was to protect her, but maybe what they did was just as much as protecting her as he's been trying to for the past few hours.

"Ella, you left us. What could ever be so bad that you'd walk away from us?" George narrowed his eyes. Everyone at the Great Hall were staring at them, and Ella shifted uncomfortably.

"I didn't mean for..." Ella started, but her voice cracked.

"No? What did you mean, Ella?" Fred snapped. "Because we were worried sick. Sirius hadn't eaten in weeks, has he told you that? Our parents looked for you through half the country, Lupin wasn't sleeping the whole month. We thought you were dead, El." Fred's anger took over, and he knew he'd regret his next words. "If you were dead, there'd be excuse for your actions, but you're here, alive and well."

"Fred," Sirius warned.

"No, let him," Ella said, her voice suddenly sharper. Her smile was back, faint and paper-thin. "He's right. I disappeared. I'm sorry."

Fred looked ready to say more, but then something shifted in her face. It was barely a twitch, but Yamac caught it. The momentary haze behind her eyes. The too-pale sheen of sweat that clung despite the cool air.

He knew that look.

"You look like hell," George muttered, but softer now. "You really okay?"

Ella didn't answer. She just turned and walked out of the Hall, like her presence there had always been temporary. It was too much to handle, and she turned out to be good at running away. 

Yamac gave Sirius a glance and the two decided not to follow. Fred and George looked at her back as she disappeared from view, "I should..."

"No, Fred. Let her have a moment. It's a lot to be back here again."

But someone else did follow.

::

The corridor outside the Great Hall was cold, even by dungeon standards. Ella had barely made it to the first turn before she stopped walking. Her hands pressed against the stone wall, her forehead following a second later.

She needed air. Real air. Not Hogwarts air thick with stares and expectations and pity disguised as friendliness.

The moment her breathing started to stutter, she heard it. Footsteps. No rush, no panic. Just presence.