You can't Outrun the Truth

Panic causes more problems then it solves

I didn't get much sleep last night due to nightmares. I also didn't hear anyone puking so that was good. I made a pot of tea and got some water to bring to everyone. I went to Beth's room first and put an aspirin and a cup of water on her nightstand. I did the same with everyone else's rooms and went onto the porch with some tea. 

(TW: panic attack; mentions of abuse)

Everything from the past and the alcohol last night overwhelmed me all at once and all of a sudden I was having a panic attack. I was gasping for air and I felt like I was back in Delaware unable to do anything while I was attacked. I was trapped in my head and everything else was gone. I could feel my hands shaking as I folded into a ball. I knew I wasn't getting enough air and I couldn't remember any exercises making me panic more.

"London! What the hell happened? London!" Someone shouted in the distance. I felt hands on my back and I screamed waiting for the wave of pain that would follow.

"London, calm down. What's happening?"

I screamed again as I felt someone grab my arm and I was barely taking breaths. it felt like my head was underwater as I was trying to breathe. 

I passed out as someone grabbed my hands.

Leah's POV

I woke up with my head pounding. I lifted my head and saw Jordan next to me while I was holding onto her. I gently pulled away from her and took the ibuprofen and water I'm assuming London left. That angel, she had to take care of five drunk people. I went into the kitchen and poured a cup of tea. I didn't see London anywhere which was odd so I checked the other rooms. I was walking back to the kitchen when I heard a crash outside. 

Running to the balcony I saw London on the ground shaking. She pulled her legs to her chest as I opened the door and squatted next to her.

"London! What the hell happened? London!" I placed my hand on her back and she screamed. I pulled away and tried to think of what to do.

"London, calm down. What's happening?" I asked frantically. 

"Leah? What's going on?" Jill asked still half asleep.

"London's having a panic attack!" Jill touched her arm to try and lift her head and she screamed again.

"Woah. What-"

"I don't know!"

Beth came out and looked at us. "Leah, Jill what's?"

"I don't know!" I repeated trying to calm her down. Beth tried to rub her back resulting in her screaming for a third time before passing out.

"What the hell?"

"Does she have a pulse?" Jill asked.

"She didn't die!" I responded.

"Just do it, Leah," Beth said picking up the mug on the ground. "She was upset last night. I saw her crying out here."

"Do you think she stayed out here all night?" Jill asked.

"I'm not checking her pulse! She fainted. Let's just put her in bed and let her wake up." I picked her up and frowned.

"What Leah?" Jill asked.

"She's so light!"

"It's probably nothing. She's pretty small." 

"Yeah, maybe."

I carried her into Jill's room and laid her on the bed. Beth brought a bottle of water from the kitchen and put it on the table beside her.

London's POV

I woke up inside and in a bed. I grabbed the water bottle on the bedside table and took a couple of sips.

I stood up and tried to remember how I got here. I felt my heart drop as I remembered someone coming outside and seeing me. How was I going to explain this? Deciding to get it over with I walked into the sitting room. The girls were looking at me as I sat down in an armchair.

"Morning," I said casually.

"It's one in the afternoon," Daan told me.

"Afternoon then."

"London, are you okay?" Beth asked.

"I should ask you all that? How are you guys feeling after last night?" I asked trying to divert the subject.

"We're fine London, thank you for dealing with everything last night. But we're worried about you, you had a panic attack this morning and it seemed bad," Leah told me.

"It's fine. I have panic attacks all the time, they don't mean anything," I tried to assure them and myself.

"You were screaming whenever someone touched you," Jill said.

"Look, everything is completely fine. You probably were hearing things since you were hungover." You would think after all these years of lying to teachers, coaches, and friends I'd be better at it.

"Three of us heard it. We aren't crazy," Jill shot down my lie.

"Whatever. You should stop worrying about this. It's not a problem."

"You passed out for four hours!" Leah shouted.

"I'm done with this," I walked out of the flat and got in my car. 

I drove around for a bit just trying to avoid going back to the flat. I didn't have my phone on me which would piss off the girls even more but I was tired of the questions. 

Jordan's POV

"That went well," Daan sighed as she went to the kitchen.

"She needs to stop running from all her problems. We just want to help!" Leah said as she leaned back against the couch.

"She doesn't ask for help Leah, she also doesn't except help. She's stubborn that way," Jill told her.

"She seemed fine, I mean she didn't seem stressed or upset about anything," I told them.

"She never does. And she said she's had them before so she must hide it," Beth said.

"I'm calling her." Leah called London and after a few seconds, Daan came out of the kitchen with a phone.

"Whos phone is this?" She held it up and we groaned.

Of course, she left her phone, the one way we could contact her, here. 

"It's London's" Jill sighed. 

"So what do we do now?" Daan asked.

"Now we wait."

Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! What do you think will happen when London gets home? Will the girls find out her secrets? And when will they find out about her call up to the national team? Thanks for the support on this book!
Sending love into the new year! Happy 2021!