You can't Outrun the Truth

Could You Just Try to Listen

"London! This was dropped off for you earlier!" Our front desk manager says as I walk in with Beth, Daan, and Jill.

"Thank you Julie," I say dropping the white envelope right into my bag.

"You're not even going to look at it?" Beth asks. "I need to be focused on training now, I'll look at it later!" I say. I feel Jill's eyes on me as we continue to the locker room.

London

10:21 a.m. Got another one, they haven't stopped

"Headed out to lunch, want to come?" Leah asks after training. "Sure, why not? Where are we headed?" I ask her. "Nando's, Jord's pick."

"Well who's order am I going to copy now!" I ask her. Leah is notorious for ordering food with little spice.

"You're a funny gal London. Most of the girls are coming, you'll be able to find someone because you're crazy and haven't gone yet."

"Brilliant! I'll just be another second," I grab my bag and stop by the physio's room for her to check on my ankle.

"London, you dropped this in the locker room!" Jordan says catching up to me as I leave the physio's. She's holding that stupid envelope.

"Thanks Jordan. You didn't open it, did you?" I check. "No of course not."

"Thank you, do you know if Beth's left for lunch yet?"

"Leah and I will drive you," Jordan answers.

Leila

11:43 a.m. Ask someone who's dropping them off

11:44 a.m Or change your name and sign with Barca with me

London

. Funny, how do you know I haven't already changed my name?

1:03 p.m And I've just signed, I couldn't leave if I wanted to

Leila

1:05 p.m. Why did you change your name?

1:05 p.m Something tells me its for something similar to this

London

1:06 p.m It may be

Leila

1:06 p.m You have problems

Back at home I opened the envelope to find another piece of lined paper accompanying the photos. There were photos of Jill and I kissing in the car last night and me walking through the airport. I flipped through more and saw photos from the game, the tunnel, the bus, the train, then the cab home. I unfolded the lined paper and read the note.

I'M GUESSING YOU WANT TO KEEP A FEW OF THESE PRIVATE

I put all of the envelope's contents back and placed the envelope with the others.

"Hey London!" Jill said coming in. I slammed the drawer shut and turned around. "Jill! Hi!"

"Everything okay?" She asks. "Everything is just fine. How about with you?" I ask keeping my back pressed against the drawers. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to watch a movie, we're about to put one on."

"Yeah, yeah sure. A movie sounds great!" She catches my arm as I'm about to leave and pulls me to her. "What's wrong London? You're acting strange."

"Let's just talk about that after the movie. I promise we'll talk then."

"So, great movie. Now," She claps her hands and sits on her bed. We're talking in her room and I'm standing in front of her. "I can't fully tell you because you'll try to convince me to do something rash or-"

"Reasonable?" She suggests. "No, something I don't need to do or I don't know, something when I haven't fully thought about all the ways to stop it. So, I will tell you a vague version of it." She nods and I continue. "Basically, I pissed someone off, probably my uncle, and now he is trying to convince me to drop charges on my parents? I don't know why he's doing what he's doing but it needs to stop."

"Report it."

"Jill, I don't even know if it's him or not," I explain again. "There seems to be a solid chance there is though. Just call your lawyer!"

"Jill you're not listening to me! I can't just go through the family tree putting them all behind bars! I can't do that!"

"Why not? They are ruining your life!"

"No one is ruining my life, Jill. I have a good life. I play on the US National Team, I play for Arsenal, I'm living closer to my cousin than I have since I was 10, and I have all of you. So tell me how my life is ruined."

"London, think about your childhood. It shouldn't have been that way, your adult life shouldn't be either."

"I didn't tell you about that for you to use it against me!" I shouted. "I'm not using it against you London! I'm pointing out the fact that you live in fear!"

"Maybe I like it! Did you ever think of the fact that maybe I won't know what to do with myself if I'm not running from something? It's all I've ever done. I can't just stop because you want me to, it's how I live, and if you don't like that then I'm sorry."

"it doesn't have to be London. That's what I'm saying. Let me help you get used to not running. To living without a constant threat of someone trying to hurt you!"

"No one's hurting me Jill. It's just pictures!"

"So you're being stalked?" She asks standing up as well.

"Just leave it alone Jill. I'm handling it."

"Are you? I thought you said you were just running from it?"

"Seriously? That's how you're going to play this?" I ask her.

"London, I'm trying to protect you."

"I don't need your protection! I just need you to listen to me without trying to fix the problem!"

"You said you would let me help you through it all."

"And I am! That's why I'm telling you about it. But you helping me and you protecting me are two different things and you need to realize that."

"I can't just listen, I can do something to help you London. Why can't you realize that!"

"I can't risk you getting hurt for me! My family has a really bad habit of hurting people, a habit I don't want you caught up in!"

"I'll be fine London," She says quieter.

"And what if you're not? You think I can afford to lose you on top of my family?" My voice cracks as she pulls me close to her.

"You won't lose me London. Okay? I promise."

Not gonna lie, kinda proud of myself for updating 3 days straight. Alexia won the ballon, love it, hate it? I strongly disagree with Chelsea being club of the year. Viv should have finished above Kerr. And finally, excited for the US v Aus game tomorrow. love y'all and have a great week!