You can't Outrun the Truth

Coffee Disapointments

Nice, so the previous paragraph that was 19 April is now the 9 of May :)

"Did you mean what you said about the loan?" I ask already dreading the answer.

"Yes."

"You want me to go on a loan? Just because we had one fight!" I clarify.

"It's not one fight, London. We don't work, the longer this goes on the more apparent it is. You need to open your eyes and stop fighting for something that never should have existed in the first place." I feel my heart drop and I look down at my full cup of coffee and stir it around.

"Why did we start a relationship in the first place? Did you feel sorry for me? Did you just want to know what my secrets were? Because now you know and it's not working out? Seriously?" I ask.

"London, just go on a loan. I need a break."

"You need a break? From what? Me?" I ask my voice raising.

"Lower your voice London. Did you say no to the loans yet?"

"They were in March, Jill. I don't even know if they are still on the table. And why should I be the one to leave if you're the one that needs a break?"

"You have the opportunity."

"My friends are all in London."

"You have friends in America, and that Spanish girl, Leila."

"So you want me out of the country entirely then?"

"Stop twisting my words. I was just giving examples."

"You have friends in Germany, all over Europe in fact. I'm sure teams would love to have Jill Roord on their team."

"I'll look then. But there is no need for us to both leave."

"Fine. I'll go. I've been here the least amount of time, and we don't need people picking sides. I'll get in contact with Joe and my manager. As long as you tell me why you don't want to work this out," I give in gesturing between us.

"You really want to know?" she sighs. I nod and she continues. "You were this broken girl that had come from America with a Dutch accent. Then you were wrapping bandages and having panic attacks so I wanted to help you."

"I don't believe that. You wouldn't do that."

"I did, London. You can believe whatever you want but that's what happened." I watch her face for any sign of remorse and find small traces, just not enough.

"Have a good career Roord." I leave the shop and call my manager.

"Hello, London, what's up?" She asks.

"Are there any teams still offering loans?" I ask quietly.

"A couple, for the rest of the season. Are you considering going on loan now?"

"Yes. Which teams are interested?" I find a park bench and sit down and take a pen out. I write on the back of the coffee shop receipt the names of the teams and put it back in my bag.

"I'll let Joe know you are looking at loans again, have a good day London."

"You too, Grace. Thank you." I walk back to Lia's place and go straight to the guest room I was staying in. I write each of the names on a separate paper and start a pros and cons list for each.

"What are you working on?" Lia asked from the doorway.

"I'm thinking of transferring."

"Oh. Why?" She furrows her brow and I know she's disappointed.

"Since the article came out it has been really hard and things here are just adding onto the stress."

"You mean Jill. The way you and Jill have been ignoring each other has been hard," Lia concludes.

"She told me she needs a break Lia. And I know it affects her too, but she's the one who started this whole mess and she's telling me to leave."

"She did what? She told you to go on loan?" Lia asks, angry now.

"Yes, well no. I mean sort of?"

"And that she needs a break? Can you sort this out for now? I need to go."

"Lia-"

"Don't start now, London!" She shouts as she slams the front door. I call Leila so I don't turn another one of Jill's friends against her and listen to the phone ring.

"Hi, it's Mapi, Leila is chasing Jenni around right now."

"Oh, hi Mapi. I can call back later, it's not a problem," I say.

"Everything okay? You can talk to me if it is urgent."

"I was told to go on loan. By one of the people closest to me. That she needed a break from me. How do I just move past that and continue to play with her until that comes? And if I don't, how do I just continue to play with her?"

"Leila! Stop!" I hear someone else yell on the phone.

"That is messed up. Screw them, okay? I know it is hard but you need to erase them from your life. No one that is worth your time will ever say anything like that to you."

"Do you know why Leila cares so much?" I ask her, remembering Jill's words about me.

"She was worried when she first met you. She wouldn't tell me what exactly happened but after meeting you I put more of the pieces together. Then, I think when we played each other and you texted that night she was getting frustrated but she was also smiling. You have charm London, people are drawn to you. You are funny, the most selfless person ever, a genuine good person, and sure, she wanted to help you. But I think once she realized you felt comfortable reaching out to her she spent less time googling you and more time telling me about the little American she adopted and how I need to meet her and convince her to play in Spain."

I laugh at her last sentence and smile. "For what it is worth, there is a small chance I will be playing in Spain after the World Cup."

"Wait. Are you serious?"

"Mapi, who are you talking to?" Leila asks.

"Hold on Leila. Are you serious?"

"I actually have to go now. But thank you for talking to me Mapi."

"Yeah, yeah, no problem. Is Barcelona one of the options?"

"Byeee," I drag out the word and hang up feeling much better after talking with the Spaniard. 

I wonder what Lia is going to do?? Let me know you're comments and suggestions! I love reading them and they often influence the book!