You can't Outrun the Truth

It Brought Me Heaven

Briefly mentions sensitive content such as sexual assault and abuse.

After I was discharged, Jill insisted on rolling me out to the car in a wheelchair. I think it was more for her fun than the reason she gave me of trying to make sure I was okay. Beth was driving us home because she didn't trust Daan's driving skills and Jill was not leaving my side.  When we go home Jill and Daan tried to carry me, or help me up the stairs. 

"Guys, I hit my head my legs work fine," I responded waving off their help. Beth walked behind me 'making sure I didn't fall backward and Daan was beside me hovering a hand behind me. We got inside and I immediately went over to the couch and laid down. Daan sat down beside my head and threw a blanket over my legs.

"Get some rest London," She said running her fingers through my hair. As well as she could though since it's not been brushed in a while. 

I felt someone lift me up and I opened my eyes to see Jill looking down at me.

"Where are we going, Jill?" I ask quietly. 

"I'm taking you to your room, it's getting late and I assumed you'd want to sleep in your bed."

I smile at her and close my eyes again as Jill carries me to my room. I feel the soft mattress as she lays me down and I grab her arm before she can leave.

"Will you stay?" 

"Do you want me to?" She asks sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Please." She agrees and I move over making space for her on the bed. Once she's laying down I cuddle up to her and fall asleep.

2013: USA

I was quitting football. It was becoming too hard to hide the bruises with the uniforms and I could barely move some days, let alone play. I had to walk to the club since it wasn't a practice day so my teammates couldn't take me. I was walking down one of the side streets trying to get there faster when I got stopped by someone. Looking up I saw a man that looked to be in his thirties standing over me.

"Do you need something?" I asked impatiently. My body hurt and I wanted to get this conversation with my coach over with.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing out here alone?"

"Fuck off you creep," I scoffed stepping around him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into an alleyway.

"No one talks to me that way."

I ended up having a conversation with my coach two days later after practice. I skipped school the last few days claiming I was sick and used some cash to buy a pregnancy test. It thankfully came back negative.

I now though had even fewer things to do outside of the house, not that I felt like leaving regardless. I was tired in general from everything, so that's when it started.

I was 14 when I first cut the skin just above my ribs and spent a year and a half in therapy after I almost died. After that, I picked up football again as a pain management thing. 

Present day: London, UK

I knew I had had the dream again when I woke up almost in tears. I closed my eyes as if that would keep them from running down my face, and clung tighter to Jill. She returned the gesture by hugging me tighter against her so I could hear her heartbeat.

"What's wrong London?" She asked still half asleep.

"Nothing," I mutter into her chest.

"If it were nothing you wouldn't be awake at three in the morning," She responds smoothing my hair out.

"I just need to be here with you."

"Okay, whatever you need love," She kissed the top of my head and I felt myself slowly calming down.

"It's infuriating how you can calm me down so well when it takes ages for me to relax on my own."

"Sometimes you need someone else to help you. Which is fine," She adds quickly glancing at me.

"You're that someone else."

I woke up again to the sun streaming through the windows. I guess I fell asleep again after that dream which is a first. I sat up and noticed Jill was gone, probably eating breakfast. After reaching that conclusion I let myself fall back onto the pillows and think.   

There was admittedly something special about her. She's the only one who could get me to go back to sleep after that dream, one very few people to know about my parents. Though that list is ever-growing. She was someone I trusted with most of my secrets. But why? Why was I so comfortable around her after a few months? It took a lot longer to warm up to any of the Spirit girls so why Jill? Why was she someone I cared so much for?

I left those questions in my room and wandered into the kitchen.

"Good morning London, Daan and Beth went out for breakfast so I just made pancakes," Jill beams at me. I can't help but smile back as I walk over to the pancakes.

"Are you sure they're safe to eat?" I joke. Jill's only slightly better at cooking than I am. 

"Of course! I'm insulted you would think otherwise," She says wrapping her arms around me from behind. I hesitantly take a bite of one and am impressed.

"Not bad Jill," I say leaning into her. My head's pounding again and I close my eyes against the light.

"Your head?" Jill asks.

"Mhm, just a bit."

"Let's sit down then." We sit in the sitting room on the couch and I lean my head on her shoulder.

"Did you know you're the only one who has been able to help me fall back asleep after that specific dream?"

"I did not. I must be special," She says turning her head towards me.

"You must be," I whisper looking back at her. My eyes flicker to her parted lips and back up to her eyes.

"London..."

"What?"

"Are you sure?"

"Hundred percent." 

I feel her soft lips on mine and I can't help but smile. I pull away and look her in the eyes smiling,

"You're very special Jill."

:)

They kissed! I was smiling so much writing that! Hope y'all enjoyed and are having a great week!

-rose x