Hood Mentality: Generational Curses

Chapter 29

Meanwhile in Louisiana...

Denise Lanier | Granny
November 18th|12:07 PM|Location: South Parish Maximum Security Correctional Facility

"I can't make him talk to you, Rodney" Denise sighed tryna explain to her stubborn son.

"Why you can't ma, you got custody over him. Make the lil nigga mind." Rodney replied blankly as if it was that easy.

"Mhm yea that sound good but remember he is your muthafuckin child! Your seed! He acts just like you, hardheaded as fuck. I'm starting to think maybe I can't raise y'all, how the hell I get two generations of convicts." Denise sniffled feeling overwhelmed and finally feeling safe to express it. She felt like she had fucked up once again, she was proud of her children and their accomplishments cause they weren't always this way but all their life choices she couldn't agree with. She once too had her hands in the mix of the street life so who was she to judge. Her oldest son Rodney is the only person who she felt she could confide in about this matter.

"I got you, April, and Nyny locked up right now.. what does that say about me." Denise continued.

"Fuck momma I'm sorry. Momma I'm sorry... this aint on you. You taught us right, we did wrong on our own." Rodney said shaking his head in self disappointment.

"I'm embarrassed of this mess I made ma.."

"Yea I know baby BUT you started this shit so you gotta finish it. It's too much tied into this now that even, I don't know. And April won't say shit, on that sticking to the code shit so I know this shit done got outta hand—"

"That's why I'm tryna talk to my son.. he wasn't posed to inherit this beef ma and he so blinded by his momma death he not seeing how deep this shit really is. This came before him and is gone be hea' long after, yunno how this street shit go ma. Spazz handled this shit for me awhile ago, Nah'jour just put a fuckin target on his back jumping in another nigga beef."

"Rodney I'm not understanding you right now! Nyny used to plead and beg for you to talk to him and make him understand but no you pushed him away! You didn't stand up like a man and tell him the truth behind his momma death and how you got where you are right now trying to avenge her. No you put that responsibility on your brother so yes maybe to Nah'jour you're a coward BUT Rodney that's on you! You ain't let him see it in perspective and you can't fault how it was told to him AND you can't fault him for going his own way. But right now you telling me to my face you feeling some kinda way cause he out here making a mess in these streets... AND so if something happens to my first born grandson God forbid you got damn muthafuckjn right I'm gone fault YOU!" Denise gritted with tears in her eyes she hated what the streets was doing to her family.

But there was nothing she could do, this was nothing new. This was generations in, this was a generational curse.. of the mind. One generation after the next following in the previous one's footsteps cursed to live and die in the hood. Cursed with a mind set on survival... the mindset of eat or get ate, kill or be killed. In the hood it's survival of the fittest, do what you gotta do and never leave a witness. It's a hood mentality.

"Ma you saying you ain't understanding but it's simple this shit ain't bout him no more.. it ain't been for awhile now, so yea I'm saying he just put himself back in the line of fire but this ain't bout him this bout that lil nigga Von. Spazz know that! He been tryna protect him but he know that's who they really gunning for. And yea I hear what you saying ma and I understand that part and I own the part I played in his misguidance BUT now I'm worried bout what can I do nah cause Nah'jour just put his self back in some shit that doesn't concern him." Rodney explain fighting the frustration he was feeling. If was rare that they put Denise in the mix of all this but it's better she knew than to be blindsided.