Thoughts in my head

Why?

Why?
Why do you do this to not only yourself but her?
She's a great girlfriend.
She's a great listener.
She loves you!
You love her!
You want her in your life!
She wants you in hers so what's your fucking problem?!
You trust her with your life.
Just because you don't trust yourself with anything that's going on with you doesn't mean you stay silent.
That's more of a reason to say something dipshit!
I understand it's hard to use your voice but come on.
You can't hide if it was different.
If it was different it'd break your relationship up more than her patience is willing to last right now.
You've told her everything besides the details.
Just because she said that was okay means nothing.
Fucking push yourself already or nothing will be done!
Your getting too comfortable with the silence.
You need the push.
It's been a year and you've gotta far yes but was it enough?
Things are coming back and you're falling short again.
I don't think you ever stopped to be honest.
You've let yourself cry and I think it's rushing back faster than you can handle.
Talk instead of pushing away.
It's okay to want to be alone sometimes but not every day or every other day okay?
Stop it.
I understand you don't even understand what's going on easier but playing out situations in your head won't do anything but make you more scared and anxious.
Your mind is bound to over-exaggerate most times.