He said I should give opportunities to others. To help me.
If I love helping people and feel wanted when I have the chance to help why not let others feel that way?
I'm not ready to talk.
It hurts and I'm scared.
I'm so so scared...
And I sit in my room silently crying because when I do finally reach out I'm an inconvenience.
The one who loves me is miles away and it's hard to let myself give into them.
They're already gone and I'm waiting for them to come back even though I never had them.
I miss them yet I had nothing to look back on to miss.
I want nothing more to love them but I'm scared.
Fear rules me and I have no energy to push their foot off my chest.
I want to talk about it but please don't make me.
I don't want to deal with the pain I'm already going through.
I'm stuck because going forward means getting worse before it gets better.
I'm stuck because going backwards means getting reminded of why I want to quit.
I'm scared, I'm stuck, and I'm preventing myself to feel the only love I have.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts in my head
Cerita PendekI will be having this book as a rant to get my thoughts out of my mind for once they could stay somewhere else... Might talk in third person or use a different name sometimes.
