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It was 10am on Saturday when I heard banging on my front door. I was still half asleep so it didn't register to me that the banging was real and not in my dream.
"It better be the police." I mumbled, dragging my still tired body to the front room.
"Y'all ain't gone answer the door?" I said to the twins when I walked in the living room and saw both of them on the couch playing on their iPads.
Nani responded, "Um no since the grown ups are gone you the grown up." Not even looking up once from her tablet.
I rolled my eyes, "Whatever." I rubbed my tired eyes dragging my feet to the front door to confront our intruder. But when I looked into the peep hole the only person I saw was my best friend.
"Devyn what the hell!?" I asked as soon as I opened the door and she barged right into my living room.
"You're avoiding me." She said,
I gasped. "I am not avoiding you."
I definitely was. After I told her my plan to join The Prophets and hopefully take them down from the inside out she cussed me out over text.
I knew she would do that and that's exactly why I told her over text and not in person so I could avoid dealing with this right here.
"You definitely are. You can't just tell me you're join-"
She started before I walked up to her and shushed her.
"Shhhh." I said pointing to the twins sitting on the couch.
The last thing I needed was to rope the twins into this mess. As far as I'm concerned they don't need to know anything until AJ is out of our lives for good.
"Right." She whispered before walking back to my room.
I silently followed her and took a seat on the edge of my bed while she closed the door after me.
"How'd you even get in my building?" I asked suddenly curious about her entry.
She looked at me dumbfounded, "You gave me the code in 9th grade." She said with a straight face.
"Oh." Scratching the back of my neck, "Right I forgot."
She rolled her eyes annoyed with me already "Ok anyways like I was saying, you can't just tell me you're joning a gang..." she said whispering the last part. "And then ignore me like what the hell Lala."
"I'm not ignoring you." Falling back on my bed with a sigh. "We already talked about this. Did you forget you cussed me out over text?"
I pulled out my phone. "You said and I quote "Lala what the fuck??" and, "This is the stupidest shit you could've ever came up with." oh let's not forget, "I could've came up with something better than that" and also, "THIS IS SO DUMB AND DANGEROUS" in all caps."
"And you never replied." She said as she took a seat next to me, on my bed. "You have to reply."
"I didn't want to hear you call me stupid all over again so I didn't." I shrugged.
She sighed. "I'm just worried. How was I supposed to know he didn't go crazy and decide to shoot you? I'm worried you don't know what you're doing."
This time I stood up. "Oh my god I know what I'm doing. Can you stop saying that? I understand the situation. I understand the risks and the possible sacrifices. How many times do I have to tell you that?"
The truth is I told Devyn because I was tired of dealing with it alone. In hindsight it was probably selfish of me because I'm potentially putting her into harm's way just so I can have someone to talk to.
Right now though, that isn't the problem. Devyn's acting like she doesn't know me. I'm not the type of person to jump into something without thinking about it first. I don't take risks like ever, I'm not a risk taker. And she should know that better than anybody so for her to constantly question my choices is alarming.
"That's the problem Lala, you shouldn't have to make sacrifices because the sacrifices that come with this ends up you being dead!" She stood up getting choked up. "Do you hear me? Dead!"
I moved my hand to my hair and nervously played with my curls, "Don't say that." Shaking my head. "I'm not going to die, you're being dramatic."
She instantly gawked. "Dramatic? No fucking way you just said." She said pointing an accusing finger.
"Devyn you don't understand." I calmly tried to explain. "I didn't get involved with a fucking gang leader for shit and giggles. I'm trying to save my family. I'm trying to save everyone's family!" Throwing my hands in the air.
"What happened to Kayla's mom can't happen again. At least not by the hands of The Prophets I won't let it." I continued.
"Why do you think this is your fault?" Devyn asked. I put my focus back on her and realized for the first time she had tears in her eyes."You can't control what he does, Lala." Taking a tentative step towards me.
That is so easy for her to say, but it's so hard for me to comprehend. Because she's right, I don't control AJ. He's a grown ass man. He's probably been doing this before I was even thought of. And I wasn't the one that told him to start a feud with the only other gang in the city and I definitely never told him to shoot anybody.
But I never told him not to either. I've known since I was a kid and I never spoke up. I knew what was going on and I never went to the police, never told anyone at school, I never even told AJ not to. I just lived my life regularly knowing a murderer slept down the hall from me.
"I'm doing it, Devyn, you can't change my mind. My plan is already set in motion and everything's going to be fine. You have to trust me." I said starting to pace in my room attempting to get my thoughts together. She had me second guessing my decision and I couldn't let that happen. I needed to stick to my plan.
She shook her head.
I stopped. "What do you mean no? You didn't say that when I first told you, you said that you'll help me. I told you I needed your help and you said yea."
She didn't say anything.
"Devyn it's been two days since you've known and you're already giving up on me? We were supposed to stick beside each other during everything what happened to that?"
She cleared her throat, "Yea that was before." She whispered maneuvering around me to my bedroom door.
"Before what?" I grabbed her wrist and stopped her before she could touch the door knob.
After a beat of silence she said, "You know what it's like to lose a best friend right..."
"Don't." I said releasing her wrist so fast you would've thought her skin was lava and she burned me. "Don't bring up Lexi, this has nothing to do with her."
"You know what it's like Lala." She said with watery doe eyes. "I don't want to lose you but I can't control what you do so I'm not going to sit here and watch you make a stupid, stupid mistake."
I stood there dumbfounded. I don't move. I don't even blink. I just keep my gaze locked on hers.
"I know I said I'll help but that was before I knew the scope of what was really going on... but now you joined a gang. That is known for killing people." She said looking up at my ceiling. My guess was to stop her tears.
"I didn't know what I was getting myself into but now that I know I'm out." She said while twisting the knob and opening my door ever so slightly.
The last thing she said before she shut the door was, "You don't have to save everybody... it's not your job."
...
