Team Bonding [reader x spencer x hotch]

32-through the looking glass

And then you kissed him.

The second your lips met his, you felt heat rush through your body. There were no thoughts going through your mind, only your desperate need for him. Your hands found themselves resting on either side of Hotch's face, finding any way to be touching more of him. The kiss quickened and his tongue was soon pushing against yours.

Despite previously being afraid to make contact with any part of you other than your lips, his hands now gently sat on the upper part of your thighs. Without thinking, you wrapped one leg over both of his, making you straddle his lap. His mouth wandered down to your neck and you bit back a moan as he nibbled on your collarbone. You threw your head back in pleasure as he moved his face down towards your chest.

When the reality of your situation came crashing down on you, you pulled away for a moment. Not moving your hands and keeping his face only an inch away from yours, you whispered "Aaron I...I don't know if this will change anything."

His thumb traced circles on the side of your hip while he stared into your eyes. "I understand, y/n, I wouldn't expect it to. If you aren't comfortable with this, I completely understand I-"

You cut him off by smashing your lips against his once again, reassuring him that you wanted this. You had no clue what would happen after this but you didn't think you had the courage to turn him in. At the same time, how could you not? Regardless of what was going to happen an hour from now, you knew one thing. You wanted him and now, especially if it was your last chance to be with him.

Bringing yourself back into the moment, you grabbed his collar to pull him even closer to you. In response, he hurried to pull your shirt over your head and off your arms. You returned the favor by practically ripping through the buttons on his shirt and then tossing it across the room. You pushed him back so he was laying down and leaned over to continue kissing him. He reached an arm behind your back and unclipped your bra, pulling it off of you immediately after.

Your lips explored every part of him, moving from his ear, across his jawline, and down his neck. Hotch reached his hand down and rested it over your pants, between your thighs. His touch you had so easily forgotten ignited something in you that you could not explain. You felt warmth growing in your core and you hurried to pull your pants off.

Still straddling him while laying down, you separated your mouth from his body and locked your eyes with his. Grinding your hips against him, you could feel his erection growing beneath his pants.

You tilted your head down so close that the side of his nose touched yours, and as you heard his breath get heavier, your movements quickened. Not stopping, you squeezed your eyes shut and gently bit down on your lip, so close to having what you truly wanted.

Your eyes opened at the touch of his hand against your cheek. He spoke softly, "You have no idea what you do to me."

You couldn't help but smile and lean down for another kiss. You almost gasped when he flipped you over so that he was on top of you. This time his hand went beneath your underwear, sliding along your slit and resting on your clit for not nearly long enough. You let a small moan slip out of your lips at the touch.

His thumb ran over your bottom lip before sliding inside your mouth where you were more than eager to suck on it. "I've missed hearing those pretty little sounds."

After he said that you felt a slight throbbing between your legs and knew you were getting wetter. Hotch proceeded to get off the bed and stand at the edge of it before pulling you, who was still laying down, to the end of it. He hurried to take his pants off, then his underwear, freeing his hard cock.

He took his length in hand and rubbed the tip slowly over your underwear. He increased the pressure which caused your back to arch and your head to roll back. Hardly being able to form a sentence the only thing you said was, "Oh god, Aaron please!"

Sensing your desperation, he pulled your underwear off and lined himself up at your entrance. Taking no time, he slammed himself inside of you, a feeling you hated to admit how much you missed. He grabbed your ankle and placed it on his shoulder, allowing him to go even deeper inside of you.

He licked his thumb then placed it on your clit, the only movement it received was the shaking of your body from his thrusts. After a minute, he slowed his pace and started to move his thumb in gentle circles. You saw his other hand that was leaning on the bed next to you for support, and intertwined your fingers with his.

In between breaths you practically whined, "You feel so good inside of me." You started to feel your legs shake the slightest bit and prepared to climax, until he removed his thumb. "Aaron!" He smiled at you but returned his thumb to the spot that was so sensitive and this time moved it side to side, faster than before.

You felt him starting to throb inside of you and knew he was about to finish. Letting go of every worry you had, you let the heat that grew inside of you finally explode. You felt his cum inside of you and your entire body shook, causing you to shove the side of your face into the bed.

He pulled out then collapsed on the bed next to you, both of you still panting.

After a minute, he turned to face you and gave you a knowing look. You began to speak unsure of what you would say, "I-I don't. Aaron..."

"You have to turn me in, y/n. I know you won't be able to live with yourself if you don't. But just know, I understand, and it's one of the reasons I love you."

You could've sworn you heard his voice crack towards the end which made you want to cry. There were no words for what you felt other than confused. It seemed like that was all you had been feeling lately.

"But-but what if I didn't? What if I didn't turn you in?" You watched him, unsure of how he would respond and waited for an answer.

"After this, I don't think I'll ever be able to return to the BAU. You're all my family, but as your family I need to protect you. I don't want to cause anyone anymore hurt and if something turns up a few years from now revealing this...situation, it would be too much for the whole team to watch me get locked away. For me and them. The only option I'd have is leaving, going somewhere where nobody knows me."

You nodded in agreement, realizing that regardless of what you chose to do, this would most likely be one of the last times you ever saw him. You rested your arm over his chest and turned your head into the side of his arm, trying to hide your tears.

"Y/n, you can stay here with me as long as you'd like. But when you're ready, call the police. Tell them to come here and arrest me, and I'll go peacefully. I may have made some mistakes, but I'm not a killer and I'm not one of the unsubs we catch. I won't act like them and I promise I'll stay with you until I'm put in the back of that police car."

You thought of proposing a plan to leave with him, where both of you could run away and leave everything here behind. You seriously considered it, but then you thought of Spencer. You knew that if he forgave you for tonight, you could forgive him. Every memory of Spence flew through your mind, reminding you why you chose him to begin with. But they were all followed by the doubts, the arguments, and the wondering what life with Hotch would be like.

As if he could read your mind, Hotch asked you a question that changed everything. "What would you think if I did leave? If I resigned from the BAU tomorrow and made arrangements to live in some other country, would you come with me?"

After everything you had gone through, you found yourself at the same place you were months ago, stuck with a choice that seemed impossible to make.