Team Bonding [reader x spencer x hotch]

33-and in the end

A moment of silence passed. He sat up, lifting you up with him, your arms never leaving his body.

"I shouldn't have asked that, I know it's not fair. I think a selfish part of me wanted to know you would choose me this time, if it were between him and I again." Hotch kissed your forehead then stood up and began putting his clothes back on. "What I said still stands, whenever you're ready the phone is here for you to make the call."

You stayed still at the edge of the bed. You felt tears pricking  your eyes and your throat stung, "Just, um, let me go clean up." Walking towards the bathroom attached to his bedroom, you picked up one of Aaron's sleep shirts that was on his dresser, then closed the door behind you. You pulled the shirt over your head and sat down on the toilet.

After washing your hands you leaned over the sink, hands resting on the counter. You splashed cool water on your face and tried to steady your breathing. When you flicked off the bathroom light and opened the door, the bedroom was empty.

You knew he wouldn't leave, he wouldn't try to trick you. There was no way the last thing he did would be hurting you. Regardless, your heart started beating faster and you walked across the room to the hallway.

"Aaron?" you called out. It only took you a few seconds to find him though—when you entered the hallway you saw the light on in Jack's bedroom. When you entered the room, you saw Hotch standing at the foot of Jack's bed. The room wasn't completely empty, but it wasn't the same as it used to be. His bed was neatly made and his favorite blanket gone, the shelves no longer cluttered with toys.

There was nothing you could say to make him feel better and you knew that. Instead, you walked over and stood next to him. You laced your fingers with his and leaned your head against his shoulder. You waited for him to say something, anything to break the silence but there was nothing.

The silence was comfortable and despite knowing what he had done, you felt more safe than ever.

"That day you and Spencer ended up in the hospital, I asked for him first you know. I only saw you first because-"

"Y/n I don't need to hear this."

"Yes you do. When I got inside the hospital I had no idea what I would say. The words just fell out of my mouth and to be honest, I hardly remember it." You glanced up at him but his face didn't move. "I told you I chose him and you told me to go see him. The second I stepped out of that room I wanted to turn around, but I knew I couldn't. I had to make a choice, it wasn't fair to keep changing my mind. The truth is, the only thing that changed my mind was Jack. You know how much I care about him, but I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough to be a real family with you two. With Spencer, it was simple. Safe. So I picked the easy way out."

Hotch turned to face you. "You know how much Jack loves you, it would be impossible for you to let him down. Or me."

"I-I know but I was afraid of how different it would be. All the time I spent with the two of you was perfect. If we were in a real relationship what if that changed? I wouldn't want it to feel like I was replacing Haley."

He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, "Haley will always be Jack's mom, and she'll always hold a special place in my heart. But I don't think she would want us to live in the past forever. She would want us to be happy." He leaned down and gave you a soft kiss, then rested his forehead against yours. "I understand now, I know you were doing what you thought was best for me. I don't want you to ever regret that decision. You and Reid still have time, you can have a good life with him."

You shook your head, "I'm not leaving you, I'm not making that same mistake again."

"Y/n you have to-"

"No, Aaron. I know you think us being apart would be doing me a favor. But this is what's best for me, you are what's best for me." You stared up at him, waiting for a response.

His arms found their way to your lower back and he pulled you closer to him. He whispered into your ear, "What did I ever do to deserve you."

-

It was nearing 6am and you had just finished helping Hotch pack his clothes and some personal items. You knew the chances of him getting caught were low, but you could never be too safe. The two of you made a plan for him to leave the country on whatever flight he could find and you would meet him in a few weeks.

Convincing the team nothing was wrong would be difficult, which you both were aware of. Hotch was going to resign and tell Strauss the stress of his family problems with Jessica and Jack were too much, and that he needed a change of pace. You would have to act surprised with the rest of the team and after about a month tell them things were too complicated after your whole dating situation. It wasn't a perfect plan, but it was the best you and Aaron could do in a few hours.

Sitting on the bed next to Hotch's suitcase, you glanced at your phone sitting on his dresser for the third time in the past 10 minutes. He raised his eyebrows at you, "Call him, y/n. You're going to have to eventually."

You sighed, "I know, I wish I didn't though."

You stood up and grabbed the phone, taking it into the hallway. You dialed Spencer's phone number but froze before clicking the call button. Flashbacks rushed through your mind and you couldn't believe it was less than 24 hours ago when you last called him. When Austin picked up and he didn't deny cheating on you. You took a deep breath, then pressed "call".

It rang a few times before you heard his voice on the other end, "Y/n?"

"Spence...I-I just wanted to say we're done. For real this time, not just a break, and not so we can get back together in 2 weeks." You sniffled, "I did love you, but once we started dating you changed. You're not the Spencer Reid I fell in love with. I miss the old you but I know it's not fair to ask you to change. So I have to let you go for good."

When he spoke again you could sense the worry in his voice, "Y/n, please. I know I messed up but we can work it out like we always do."

"I just can't do this anymore, I'm sorry. Goodbye Spencer." Before he had the chance to say anything else, you hung up the phone. A tear fell down your cheek and you quickly wiped it away before returning to the bedroom.

Despite letting go of one of the most important people in your life, you felt lighter, more free. You leaned against the doorframe, watching Hotch zip up his suitcase and check the room to make sure he had everything. In that moment, you couldn't help but smile thinking about the life you were about to have with the person you loved most.