Unimpressed

6

Disclaimer: Parts of this story may be not as entertaining to you, but I seriously don't care, I just wanted to say that. Moving on!

Once upon a time I made a bet with Averie, and now that Averie has won the bet, I regret my decision to make the bet. I also regret letting Velvet set up my social media, because now I exist and that makes me nervous. So those're the things we're talking about, let's get this show on the road.

First we'll talk about the bet. Ave and I were bored at the hotel so I asked him if he knew anything about illusions. He said no, so I told him to come to my studio with me so I could show him. I mean, we had nothing else to do, so why not?

What I'd meant by illusions was show business lingo for lighting tricks. Usually it stops at that, but one of my employees suggested these smoke machines to me that make very realistic shapes in the smoke. I loved it, so I wanted to show Ave, because I knew he'd appreciate it. And he did. I demonstrated my very lovely smoke machines and he loved it. What he didn't tell me was that he'd recorded the whole thing and sent it to Velvet. You all know this, but since I met her rather recently I didn't know that she's basically a social media goddess. So naturally she posted it. I should've known by all the hints Ave was giving me, because he was saying things like "You never know, Allie, this might catch Lucifer's eye. Maybe he'll come to the opening," and "Y'know, this is quite the sight, lots of people could show up."

I was like "Mhm, sure. That would be cool, but I seriously doubt it."

That's when he sprung the offer: "Fine, you don't have to believe me, but I bet you fifty bucks that Lucifer shows up."

And me, being stupid, yes this is another example, said "Deal."

Shortly after that he broke the news that he'd filmed and sent it to Velvet, who posted it. And in turn, Charlie saw it, and then Charlie sent it to Lucifer, who is her dad, and low and behold, guess who I heard was outside the hotel thirty minutes before the performance. Yup. Lucifer. King of Hell. Oh my god I was so nervous, I can't even put it into words. I started thinking about every possible way it could go wrong, or how it wouldn't be entertaining to him. Hey, I might be new in town, but I wasn't oblivious to how hard it is to entertain the King of Hell. The fact that Averie's video even caught his attention made my heart pound in my ears, no joke.

Despite my extreme mini panic attack in my head, I got myself together, told myself we could do it and went out on stage. And you know what? My ensemble and I rocked it. Not one mess up, not one machinery malfunction. Everything went as perfectly as dress rehearsal had been. I even managed to get a reaction from Lucifer at the part in "Mad Hatter" where poor smoke Alice got her head sheared off. After I did my solo performance to bring the opening to an end, I received a standing ovation. I'm not kidding. I didn't expect it, not one bit. That, and there were so many people there it blew my mind. I was beyond ecstatic, and my amazing ensemble came back up to the stage for our final bow and picked me up so everyone could see me. When it quieted down I gave acknowledgements, and then we took one final bow and disappeared backstage. I'm pretty sure I almost had a heart attack that day too, because Charlie came backstage to congratulate me and brought her dad with her. I like him, he's a cool guy. He shook my hand and told me it was nice to meet me. I thanked him for coming and stuff, but my voice was kinda breathy because I couldn't believe my eyes and definitely thought I was hallucinating. So yeah, I owe Averie fifty dollars now, and he's never gonna let me live this down.

That directly leads into this next part, in which Averie and Velvet basically told me I didn't exist. Okay that's exactly what they said to me. I didn't have any form of social media whatsoever. In fact, I barely ever used my phone for anything other than listening to music and answering calls from Angel or Octavian. Occasionally I answer texts from Averie but that's a rare occurrence. And I liked it like that. Sure, I may become more heard of once this little show I have going on takes off, but I don't really care about that. Really. I couldn't care less about fame or money. What need do I have for it? I'm boring, I don't go places.

What's nice about all this is that it started a new friendship between Velvet and I. What's scary about all this is when I reluctantly handed her my phone, and she set up my account and what not, she added every big important person in Hell on it. I looked at her, and then down at my screen, and then back up at her.

"That's a lot of people," I said aloud. In my head I was screaming "VELVET WHY?!"

"Oh you'll probably meet the majority of them at some point," she said, waving away my obvious horror at the fact that my existence was now a thing on the internet.

Excuse me? Dude! I like hiding! But apparently life changes so I'll have to suck it up and deal with it. I probably care more than I should, but that's what happens when you're a bundle of raw nerves most of the time.

That's all folks, show's over for now. I've got plenty more to say, so tune in next time if I haven't completely bored you to tears. I'm Alaska, your host and this is Unimpressed Studios. Go do something interesting with your life.

-End of broadcast-