Unimpressed

27

The last episode was kinda depressing, so I'm gonna talk about something funny today. We're all good with that? Good, because I like talking about funny things so it's storytime again people! Open your ear holes and listen up!

I had realization the other day; I talked about Jamie's arrival, but only touched on Jake's a few times. So today Ima tell you the whole story, here we go:

I was outside the hotel, back from a walk. I mostly had my head down because I was drawing, so I wasn't paying attention to anything around me really. And then suddenly I heard a scream a couple feet ahead of me. Even I can't ignore that, it was loud and it startled me, so I looked up to see what was going on. It was a grown man running away from a little kid. A really normal looking little kid. From what I saw, the guy had been trying to kidnap the poor thing and all this kid did was stare him straight in the eyes for a solid two minutes, and that's when the man screamed and made a run for it.

At first I stood there in shock. One, this kid looked completely human to me. I didn't see anything wrong with him. Two, he looked way too young to have done anything to land him in Hell. How did he make someone who's most likely been here for decades scream and run like a coward? I'll admit, I was weary of the kid and hoped he hadn't noticed me gawking at the whole scene, but then I noticed he was staring straight at me. I approached him carefully. I didn't want to know what he'd done to that guy and sure as heck didn't want whatever just happened to happen to me so I was extremely cautious.

"Hey there," I said awkwardly, like the little worm I am, "Are you okay?"

He didn't respond. In fact, he struck me as a rather non verbal kid, so he just nodded at me. He was dirty and had a few bruises on him, and my uneasiness faded instantly. If you know me, you know that I'm very protective and quick to pull the mother card, so suddenly the card was dealt. All awkwardness was gone.

"What's your name?" I asked, trying to seem helpful. I wasn't expecting an answer but after a few minutes of silence, he mumbled "Jake."

"Well, Jake, it's nice to meet you. I'm Alaska. Hey, listen, there's a hotel right here and I'm sure the owner wouldn't mind you staying here. It's not safe in the streets," I said.

He looked up at me and then at the door of the hotel. Then he proceeded to roll his eyes at me, like the little sass he is and walk right in like it was nothing. In my head I was like "Dang, okay then Mr. Attitude." I stood there another minute in shock and then followed him inside.

I had no idea how anyone was going to react. Okay, I knew Charlie would be a little excited and probably confused, because Jake really did look completely human. I couldn't tell what kind of demon he was and almost assumed that he wasn't one, though that wouldn't have made any sense. Later we'd find out that he's definitely a demon. His abilities are terrifying. I'm getting ahead of myself, back to reactions!

Angel met him first. If you thought I got attached to Jake quickly, oh boy, that's nothing in comparison to the way Angel's eyes lit up. He'll never admit it but I know what I saw.

"Whose this little guy?" he asked, seemingly nonchalant about it.

"This is Jake," I replied, "He was all by himself on the street, I watched him rescue himself from some dude."

Jake looks up at Angel for a second and says nothing. Angel glances at me and shrugs, and then crouches in front of Jake and introduces himself. Still no response from the kid, he just nodded and stepped a little closer to me. Yeah, Jake didn't really know how to feel about Angel at first, but he warmed up to his now adoptive dad fast.

To move things along, I told Jake that he needed a bath and proceeded to usher him into the bathroom. Angel followed and started the bath water, and everything was fine until I asked Jake this question, which sparked this conversation:

"How old are you, Jake?"

He holds up seven fingers. Angel pulls me back for a moment.

"What the hell did a seven year old do to end up in Hell?" he whispers.

I understood his confusion; seven is really young to even be dead. There had to be a story behind this and there was. It was really quite sad, so we won't get into it. Anyway, I shrug and turn back to Jake, who looks less than amused that we're talking about him like he can't hear us. Ignoring the look on his face I ask him another question, this one leading to an awkward situation:

"Can you bathe yourself?"

He shakes his head. No problem, I'll just leave. Angel can handle this, he wouldn't hurt a little kid. So I announce that this is my time to leave and Angel pulls me back into the bathroom.

"Oh no you don't," he says, "Don't leave me alone with the kid!"

"If you haven't noticed, the both of you are male and I am not," I pointed out.

And then you know what Jake did? This kid seriously pointed straight at me and said one word.

"Stay."

And then he made a shooing motion at Angel. Which meant I was alone in the bathroom with Jake. So, I sucked it up, like the mature adult I am and helped him bathe, wrapping him in a fluffy towel and giving him clean clothes to change into. Angel came back in and did his hair when we were done, just for the fun of it.

We both knew that we adored this kid right then and there. I could tell by the way Angel looked at me after the whole scene in the bathroom. It was a look of pure adoration and I reflected that look on my face. So, Angel pulled me into the kitchen and blurted out what we were both thinking.

"What if we were his adoptive parents? Like together?"

"Yes," I agreed immediately, "Let's do it."

We did go and talk to Jake about it, and at first he was weary. For now I'll say this; his parents didn't treat him well in life. We both promised to be the best parents we could be for him, and he hugged us. It was adorable and wholesome and Angel and I wanted to burst of happiness.

So yeah. That's the story of how Angel and I became parents for the first time. To this day we both love Jake just as much and he's living the best life he can with his family and new older sister, whom he is very close to. And you know what? Angel and I are heckin' good parents according to Jake, so there.

Well lovelies, that's Jake's arrival story! I hope you enjoyed, like always, and tune in next time for more hopefully amusing content! This is your host and I'm gonna go take a nap now, bye!

-End of broadcast-