Unimpressed

14

There are those people in your life that you meet once and then you don't see them for a good couple months and you pretty much assume they've died or something, meanwhile your life continues to change drastically and when you finally see them again, you have a whole story to tell. And it's a little embarrassing, not gonna lie.

If this hasn't happened to you, you live under a rock.

If you haven't noticed, I'm gonna talk about that kind of situation that happened to me lately.

Okay so background information: I met Sir Pentious in my first days here in Hell. I saved one of his little egg minions from being eaten by the giant cat monster Alastor keeps around, Mittens. That was the same day my transition from mostly human to mostly demon came about, so when he met me, I looked quite a bit different than I do now. Let me just set up for you guys how much I changed, because it's not just physical:

Angel Dust is currently my best friend.

I have two kids, one of which belongs to Alastor and I.

I'm a rising business owner and I have a whole dang building to myself.

There's another thing but I'm not gonna say it because I don't want to. And then there's all the physical changes. When I met Pentious, Angel and I still pretty much wanted nothing to do with each other, yes, we didn't like each other at all when we first met. I didn't have my two children yet and was bored all the time, these were the days where I was shooting staples at people on the street and in passing cars just so I wouldn't cry myself to sleep out of sheer boredom. Now however I have a job, children, yada yada, all the crap I just said. And at this point, I hadn't seen Pentious since he left the hotel while my transformation was still happening, so he never saw what I looked like right afterward. Yes, people, he still knew me to be a pretty Latino and mostly human. Ahaha. Not anymore.

So a couple days ago now, I was doing costume fittings for the upcoming show, making sure everyone in my smaller ensemble fit into the sizes I ordered and what not. Angel came, because I asked him to, and so did Ave and Jamie, my daughter in case you've forgotten. I'd hired Ave recently since he wanted to help with all the publicity and social media crap I don't want to deal with because ew, existing. We're minding our own business, I'm helping ensemble members figure out the decorative jewelry on their costumes, Angel is trying on random things in the closet backstage Ave is taking pictures and Jamie isn't really doing much, she's standing behind Ave looking at the photos. They were hassling me about showing them my costume, since mine is a little different than the ensemble's and I didn't notice at first, but while we were all distracted, one of Pentious's egg minions wanders in.

Again, I haven't seen Pentious or any of the little egg guys in months. I assumed they up and died or something, I had no idea what happened to them. So you can imagine my surprise when I look up and there's one of 'em, just standing there. I'm super confused by now, but I'm even more confused when Pentious comes running in after it.

"Pentious?" I ask "What're you doing in here? I haven't seen you in months."

He looks confused for a minute and then he's like "Ah! Alaska! Long time no see."

No kidding buddy. "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen you since I transformed," I pointed out. I really didn't know what to say to this guy, I had no idea how he'd even gotten into the building, let alone found the auditorium. It's a pretty big studio, even I get lost on my way to and from my own office. Pathetic but true.

"Yeah, that would explain why you look so different." he said.

"A lot has changed." I regret saying that, because you know what Jamie does? He was now standing in front of her, and he hadn't seen her yet so she steps out from behind him and says "Uh, mom? Who's this guy?"

He jumps a mile backwards and I stand there in shock. Crap. I almost forgot Jamie was in the room, she'd been so quiet. So, as Pentious looks from my daughter to me and back again, I know what question he wants to ask. He doesn't ask it, but instead says "What's up with the antlers?"

I don't even get a chance to speak, Jamie pipes up instantly. "I get them from dad."

"Who's your dad?" asks the egg guy. She opens her mouth to tell them, but I shake my head no at her very obviously and she takes the hint and says "Wouldn't you like to know." And he just stood there like "Yes actually, I would, please tell me," but Pentious tells him not to push it. So I thought I was in the clear. This may sound odd, but for some reason I really didn't want anyone but close friends to know about the very complicated situation Alastor and I were in, and I knew that if Jamie told Pentious that Alastor was in fact her dad, questions I wouldn't want to answer would be raised. I'm pretty sure you can guess what kind of questions.

"But I don't know how it's not obvious who my dad is," Jamie says suddenly.

My heart skips a beat and I stand frozen on the stage. Angel and Ave are looking at me like I'm nuts and Pentious is glaring my child down.

"You're saying it's obvious?" 

"Yes," she stated, all matter of factly, "Everyone else knew instantly."

That was true, but she didn't need to say it! I'm glaring at her also at this point but she doesn't see me. I really didn't want this conversation to go any further, nor did I want the situation to escalate, but they continue on with their discussion like they're the only two people in the room.

"Well I can only think of a few demons with antlers, but I doubt it's the big man himself. No way."

Ah yes, I thought, my mind beginning to panic, that my friend is where you are wrong. And my daughter says exactly what I'm thinking.

"Uh, yeah, Alastor is my dad."

And then Alastor actually shows up to the scene and we explain everything to Pentious, including the stuff about Mavis, the summoning and all that jazz. And it kinda sucked, I dunno why. It was embarrassing to me. And we're not even gonna talk about the things Angel was saying while this was going down. The whole thing was chaotic but y'know, in the end it's what you make of it, and I'm choosing to share and laugh about it.

Well, dear listeners, that is all for today. Come back if you want, I've got loads more. I'm Alaska, thank you for tuning in, but for now I must tune out. Au revoir good audience!

-End of broadcast-