Fighter

Chapter 23

The nurses had come and gone, and she was settled in her hospital bed watching the chemo  drip. Voight had set up her laptop for her on the table in front of her, but she could hardly keep focus on whatever it was playing, he sat next to her sipping his coffee and tapping away on his cell phone, most likely to one of the unit members. She began to drift off to sleep, until she was slammed with the distinct feeling of nausea so hard, she shot up from the bed. Voight grabbed for the bed pan quickly and held it beneath her chin as she lost the small breakfast she had that morning. A few minutes of the violent dry heaving once everything left her body, she laid back as Voight took care of the pan. Her back throbbed from the constant heaving motion, and even after the nausea hadn't subsided. She rolled over onto her side toward the window and closed her eyes.

Hours had passed, and only the nurse shuffling next to the bed roused her from the deep sleep. She pulled the blankets closer to her chin and she opened her eyes to the room. Above her was the nurse, casually fixing the I.V. Her eyes found Voight, sat back in the chair next to her, flipping through a file, and much to her surprise, Jay sat next to him with a matching filing folder in his hands as he scanned the papers held inside. Rolling over on to her side to fully face them, she shivered. "Why are hospitals always so cold." She mumbled. The nurse excused herself a moment and returned with an extra blanket, tucking in Erin's shivering form. "It's just the side effect of the chemo. If you need anymore blankets, just buzz me at the nurses station and I'll come back with more. You need anything else?" Erin shook her head. "Okay, you know what to do if you think of something you need! I'm Mia by the way, I'll be on for the next 48 hours." With that, the peppy nurse was gone. "How are you feeling after some rest?" Voight asked, putting down the file. In truth, she was feeling awful. The symptoms were hitting hard for only a first dosage, but being a higher percent for the cycle, to fight the aggressive tumor, it must be normal. "Super. I feel like a million bucks." She grinned. "Looking like it too, kid." He returned her sarcasm with a quip of his own. "I think I'm going to go down to the cafeteria, want anything?" He asked the two young detectives. Erin just shook her head once more, the thought of food was bringing back the nauseated feeling. "I'm good actually, thank you though." Jay said. Voight gave a nod, and exited the room, leaving the two in silence. "What are you guys looking over?" "Just another gang crime. How're you really feeling, Er?" He asked seriously. "I'm fine, Jay. Nothing unusual besides poison running through me." He smirked. "Fair enough. Do you need another blanket?" "No, I'm okay. Thanks though." A silence fell over them once more, neither really knowing where to begin. They had yet to talk more since the kiss they shared, and her shutting him down soon after.
"I'm sorry." They said in unison. Sharing a look, Erin continued. "I'm sorry I came on to you without thinking it over." He nodded. "I'm sorry I pushed you to explain yourself, you didn't need anymore stress on top of what you already have to deal with." She closed her eyes, before beginning her small rant. "You deserved better than the way I behaved. Trust me Jay, I want nothing more than to be together again. I do. I just know what can happen with a diagnosis like this and I got scared. Scared of what it might do to you if we were together and I can't fight hard enough. You understand where I'm coming from, right?" She was staring at him once more. Jay looked...shocked? As if he didn't expect her to confess having any more feelings left toward him. His heart was beating faster at the very thought. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. If you really want to try this - us, again you know I love you. I'll be here for you, and it's not a worry about me. Okay?" She gave him a sleepy smile. "Okay." She paused, as a yawn took over. "If we do this, you aren't allowed to be overbearing though. I've got Voight taking over that role just fine. Got it?" He laughed at this, because of just how true her words were. "Loud and clear." "I don't think I'm going to be awake much longer, you want to join me?" He placed the files down on her night table and made his way over to her bed, settling in beside her, as she snuggled against him. "Mm. You're so warm." This earned a chuckle from him as she drifted off to sleep for the second time that day.

Voight had been watching from the doorway as Jay laid with Erin. As much as he wanted to be upset with them for crossing the line again, he was just pleased she was at least she was letting them in, that was a win. As scary as her cancer diagnosis was, her shutting everyone out and trying to deal with it on her own would be even more so.