Fighter

Chapter 36

Saying goodnight to Jay bothered her more than she'd like to admit. She was used to being able to be on her own, for everything. That's just the Erin Lindsay way, and yet she'd become so accustomed to having Jay, or Voight or even both of her favorite men stay with her. So she realized why it felt so empty in the isolation room. Mia had come in as far as she could, dressed to the nines with medical garments as to avoid any and all germs coming in with her. "How you doing over there super star?" She asked, as she finished fixing up the new medication I.V, and placed the water pitcher on the bedside drawer. "Great. I'd give it a ten out of ten." Mia arched an eyebrow. If there was one thing she could pick up on, it was a lie. "And I'd give that performance a five out of ten, being generous. Talk to me, how are you holding up?" Erin sighed. She was uncomfortable, in pain, and she missed her human heater not even a few hours later after he had left. "I was just missing Jay." She huffed, pulling the blanket around her. "Ah. There it is. He'll be allowed back for limited visiting hours though. But I guess that's not the same thing, is it?" Erin shook her head. "He just makes things better." "Wow, should we capture him and use him over modern medicine?" Mia used a fake gasp. It worked though, a smile cracked on Erin's face. "Ha. Ha. Very funny. He does help though. Sometimes I forget for a minute when he's here, why I'm in this room." Mia nodded. "This won't be forever you know. This room, it'll be a memory. A painful one, but you'll be in remission soon, and you can get your life back." Erin nodded, the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. "That's what everyone keeps telling me. But it won't really be the same again. If I leave here?"
Mia paused, she had never really thought too hard into that part of things. Her grandmother had required lots of follow up appointments, constantly living in a paranoid state that it wouldn't last, and cancer would come back. The stress of medical bills, and so on. But she wouldn't get into that with Erin right now. "Everything will be fine." Just then, Erin's cell phone rang. She reached for it, and Mia waved as she left Erin to take the call.

"Liv, hey." "I'm sorry I've been swamped here with case after case, and I wanted to check in. How are you doing?" Erin smiled. "You know, I've been asked that question so much, I'm not sure even my auto pilot answer works anymore." Olivia laughed. "I guess that isn't the greatest of questions, huh?" "Not really, but I appreciate everyone being so ready to check in on me." There was a pause before she continued. "I'm scared..but I feel like everyone is so stressed over this, that I can't really be open about it. You know?" She said in a tone, Liv had only heard when they had found Nadia, before the angry, hardened version of Erin covered that vulnerable side. There was an intake of breath before Olivia spoke again.
"Erin...I know it's scary, especially when the statistics are much higher for your diagnosis. You're fighting so hard, and I know it's probably more exhausting putting on a show for everyone so that they don't worry, so that they aren't so scared for you. When you get past this, not if, when, you pass the one year and the two year, and so on in remission? You'll find your way back to your life before cancer. I can tell that you haven't lost who you are to the sickness anyway. Maybe your hair, and health are down for the count, but you'll get back up. Fighters always do, and you've always been one in my books. Ever since I met you." Erin's body shook with the sobs releasing from her. "Let it out, it's okay. I'm here." Liv said softly through the receiver.
Erin pressed the speaker button and held the cell phone in her clenched fist against her chest as she broke down.
She always felt like Olivia was a safe person, and trusting someone enough, especially to breakdown in front of, Erin always struggled with her whole life. Thanks to the rocky start she had been given, and the terrible relationships along the way. Knowing she could trust the Intelligence team, and Jay and Voight...it was different this time. This situation was crushing everyone around her, but Olivia, had told her she could handle this. So, curling onto her side, she cried out the fears, the frustrations, everything that she had been bottling up completely since she landed in the hospital, and Olivia listened and comforted her as she did so.