Fighter

Chapter 32

It seemed as though, as the second and third  months of Erin's treatment progressed, that things were starting to take a much darker turn. The chemotherapy had virtually wiped her of any extra energy she had left. Her waxy, pale complexion was a near perfect match to the hospital room walls, and the brightly colors of the head scarves made it that much more noticeable. The smiles she could hide her pain behind in the beginning were losing their effect, the more sick she became.
They had only hoped she would need a month of chemo and be able to be released into remission, but this cancer was giving her a run for her money. One month turned to two months, and now they had reached the third. There was hardly any shrinkage from the tumor, and her Oncology team couldn't waste any more time with it, not with her life on the line. She was scheduled for the surgery within a week after they had met, once the last chemotherapy cycle ended.

That afternoon, after she received news from Dr Hanley of the surgery that would hopefully give her freedom of this disease, and she found comfort in Jay's arms - the same place she had spent most of the last two months. They would be moving her to an isolation room, so she was holding on to the contact as long as she could. Hank had stepped out to take care of some things financially through his insurance as Erin was unable to work, meaning she lost out on the benefits of health coverage.

"Jay?" She whispered, as he lightly brushed his hand up and down her arm. "What's wrong, Er? You okay?" He was near ready to jump from the bed and grab a doctor. He felt her shake her head against his chest ever so slightly. "Do you think Nadia will be there?" Jay's face was laced with confusion. His mouth set into a frown. It was the first time he had heard of their young friend in a long time. "Be where, exactly?" "Waiting for me when this is all over." She mumbled darkly. Jay's heart dropped. Maybe it was the medication causing her to ask such ridiculous scenarios, but it didn't help the heartache he felt at that question. "Jay?" She asked again. "You won't have to worry about that for a long time. But I'm sure she's watching over, waiting until you're old and grey." He said finally. Erin wasn't exactly satisfied with that answer. "I don't know how much more I can handle." She said so quietly, he almost missed it. "Why would you even think that?" "I'm tired." She said after a few moments of silence. "I can't imagine how hard this is on you Er, and I know you're tired. But you have to keep that fire alive okay? Where's my feisty partner at, ready for any fight?" He teased, jokingly. Although, He felt the wetness on his shirt before she had even spoke another word. She was crying, something Erin didn't do very often. "I don't know." She said finally. He tightened his arm around her, and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm so sorry it's so hard right now. You'll get through this though." He said as a tear escaped his eye, trickling down his cheek. "Okay." In truth, she hadn't believed a word about it being okay, or her situation changing for the better. Things had changed far too quick for her, and she had lost hope the minute she watched the calendar switch months...but she would let them keep their hope, instead of breaking them as she had already done to herself.

She had drifted in and out of sleep within Jay's arms, as he silently cried, now unable to stop the tears. He wasn't ready to let her go, as selfish as his reasonings may have been, but he had only just got her back. Life couldn't be that cruel..could it?
Hank entered the room, interrupting Jay's dark thoughts. He noticed Jay's tears, and Erin's sleeping form, and his stone cold heart sunk for the heartbroken detective before him. He knew how it felt to hold the one you love most in his arms while they slowly slipped further and further away from who they were before an illness. He wasn't ready to watch that be Erin, the only one he had left and he knew it would destroy Jay Halstead completely.