Fighter

Chapter 33

The week had flown by, but Erin wondered if maybe that was because for the majority of the days that had passed since news of the chemotherapy not working, she had spent ninety percent of that time asleep. Fighting the meds they had her under made staying awake a difficult task indeed. However, any time she came to, there was always someone at her bedside, and she managed to be in Jay's embrace. Jay had been a saint through all of this, and yet she was left with this heavy guilt ridden feeling. Was she keeping him from living a normal life, from moving on? She felt the sting of that reality. He had come clean to her about how he really felt, and she as well...but she was certain he didn't want to sign on for all of this.
In her own mind, she was a burden once more in the lives of the people she loved most, and she hadn't felt like this since after they lost their sweet Nadia. She turned her head upward to look at Jay's sleeping face, he looked about as tired as she felt, and it made her heart clench. She turned over ever so slightly, and noticed Voight was snoozing in the chair he had basically moved into. She was just glad they were catching some well deserved sleep. She slid from the bed quietly, and pulled a spare blanket over her shoulders, and pulled her I.V pole with her out of the room. Kara, one of the nurses who took over at the end of Mia's shift today for the overnight, was seated at the nurses station filing paperwork. "Erin, you should be in bed." She said without glancing up. "I needed a little break from that." She gave a small grin. Kara stopped typing, and looked over at the detective. "Alright, go on out. I'll give you ten minutes. That's the limit and then back in here. Clear?" Erin nodded, and Kara slipped the key over to her. They had an arrangement where Erin could have a few minutes of fresh air on the nights she was feeling up to being out of bed. It was her sanity saving grace. As she made her way out to the therapy terrace, toward the closest bench to the door, she noticed how clear the Chicago sky was. The stars were visible tonight. She took in a deep breath, and looked upward, at the beautiful scene in front of her. She sat down, and just took it all in. It was quiet out there, something she rarely saw Chicago being capable of when she was out chasing crime, but it was nice - no matter how much she missed taking down criminals. Tilting her head back, she watched as the stars and moon shone brightly above. This was the closest to inner peace she had experienced in a long time.

"You know, you shouldn't be out here in the cold." Jay's voice sounded from behind her. "I know, but look at how beautiful it is out here, it's hard to stay away." He made his way over to her and took the seat next to her, nodding in agreement. "You know, this is the first place I came after you were admitted." He said. She could understand why. "It's a good place when you need a clear headspace. It's good for that." She agreed. He opened his arm and she leaned against him. They sat in the stillness of the night, just enjoying each other's company. "I'm about to say something that might sound crazy, but I'm afraid if I don't now, I'll lose the nerve." He said a few minutes later. She sat upright and looked at him in confusion. He slid from the bench and kneeled in front of her, slipping the velvet red box from inside his sweater pocket. "Erin Lindsey, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"