WEAK SPOT [YEONBIN]

✃15✁

Whatever was in the fruit punch at the party, is ruining me.

It's been a day since Soobin left Yeonjun's house after the older took him home from Beomgyu's. The younger hasn't stopped throwing up but refuses to ask for any help.

Soobin gags into his toilet bowl, squeezing his eyes shut in pain. I can't believe I basically agreed to being Yeonjun's fuck toy- or his boyfriend? well, he didn't say those words exactly but, for my sake I'll pretend he's my boyfriend.

Soobin didn't want to like Yeonjun like that. He never wanted Yeonjun to tick all of his boxes. Soobin didn't want the attraction he felt to ruin what they have.

So he promised himself that he'd only let unproblematic, gentle people into the most intimate aspects of his life. That's how it should be. And Yeonjun is definitely not that.

But no. Soobin's hopelessly stuck on Yeonjun. I used to dream about this. I used to wish we could work. But I was young and more stupid.

Soobin can't stop thinking about the older's body; he'd always love Yeonjun's hugs and cuddles, even the rough possessive touches.

Yeonjun is something stable, the boy reasons. He's always there. He's been with me for years, Soobin can't remember his childhood without Yeonjun, and he can't imagine the future without him either.

Of course, graduating soon, going off to college will change that... but I know we'll keep in touch.

College applications are due soon. I wonder when I'll tell him, that I changed my mind.

Yeonjun makes Soobin feel safe despite it all; the way he uses his body to remain as close as possible to the younger. 

Truth be told, being a virgin did little to quench the onslaught of explicit daydreaming or Soobin's mind, constantly wandering to sex.

He was young when his Uncle decided to cross boundaries and even younger when he met Yeonjun: the little boy who was quick to explore and ask questions about intimacy.

It caused Soobin great shame as he got older, and he realized the odd feeling in his chest he'd get when he 'played' with Jowoon was nothing else but a warning.

You don't want this. This is wrong. This is so wrong. This is disgusting.

Soobin felt like a fraud. Portraying an image that isn't who he is, I'm not a victim, I'm not a shy, kind, can't do harm, hard working student... I'm none of those.

Being with Yeonjun; Fucking him, won't make me a fraud anymore? Right?

Soobin sighs, squeezing his eyes shut.

Let the boy go, Soobin. Yeonjun isn't your baby anymore.  He never acted like a baby, anyway.

Maybe, we'll even fall in love? I'd like to be in love, like the people on tv.

-:-:-

Yeonjun flicks the light switch off in his kitchen, it's around 6 pm, and the sun is setting; he hears the howling fall wind rattling his windows. The kitchen is dark; only silhouettes and larger structures are apparent. He swiftly moves, walking steadily out of the kitchen, his hands running together.

He moves to a bathroom on the first floor, the hallway light is on. He shuts it off, the opened doors to various rooms now looking dark and uninviting.

Yeonjun whistles, the tune is disorganized, and bounces on the walls of the large empty house, all for himself.

The floorboards creak beneath his bare feet as he makes his way toward the living room. He immediately walks toward the thermostat on the wall behind the large television. He cranks it down to the negatives. He flicks off the light switch next to it, the living room and couch only illuminated by the fleeting light outside, it seeps through the scattered windows.

Yeonjun sighs, looking around. All done.

He promptly takes out his cellphone from his back pocket and scratches at his chest; the fabric of the turtleneck Soobin bought him a long time ago is a size too small now.

He opens up his IMessages, Where the fuck is she. There are no new texts. No calls. Just the one from fifteen minutes ago saying I'm on my way.

Maybe she's scared. Maybe she's nervous.

Yeonjun smiles and texts her to -Hurry. This is important. A bubble appears immediately before disappearing.

I'm walking past Soobin's. I'll be there in a minute.

Yeonjun smiles wider. She's actually here... she has more balls than I thought. A light chuckle escapes him. He's starting to feel the effects of the darkness and the dipping temperature. She's probably confused. She's probably scared.

You're home, right? It's dark. You're alone?

Yeonjun groans, he quickly exits out of the messaging app and calls her. She doesn't pick up right away. It makes Yeonjun grip the phone tighter.

"Yeonjun..."

"Megan, what the fuck are you
talking about. Of course I'm alone.
Can you hurry up and-"

There's a knock at the front door. He hangs up the call, staring down the white door. He sees a silhouette through the foggy glass design.

He walks up to it quickly but carefully to not make any alarming stomps.

Yeonjun opens the door, smirking at her attire. She covers up now, no more cute little outfits or dazzling accessories. Meg's hair is covered by the black hoodie of her sweater.

"Wow, not even some makeup? I showered for you and put on the cologne you love."

She's silent, blue eyes staring into his own. She chews on her lower lip.

"What do you want?" she asks.

Yeonjun steps aside. "Yeonjun, can't you just tell me outside? Please?" She nearly squeaks, one of her legs bounce. Yeonjun's eyes narrow, he straightens up against the door and crosses his arms. No longer looking relaxed and chill.

He reaches out and pulls her into the room. The door shuts behind them. She remains silent, Yeonjun chuckles.

"You're so easy. Too easy. You're no fun anymore. Just annoying by the way."

Meg shakes him off her. "Just speak already," she spits. "I wanna go home."

-:-:-
(July 9, 2021)

Life is crazy.

Hello again :)

Any buddy here?

- cantdosoy