better off without you

19

it's been a few days since everything happened, i had stayed in my room every day avoiding everyone i couldn't wrap my head around what happened
i was raped.

my head was pounding and my throat was dry
i quickly got up and stumbled a little due to not using my legs in a while i checked my phone and the clock said 8:30am

i see my mom in the kitchen and go over to her
"hey mom what time did i get home the other night do you know?"
"around 11:30, your friend mark drove you home and you fell asleep on the car so he brought you upstairs"
i nod and turn around
all i felt was anger
how could he do this
i can't tell anyone
i don't even know who would believe me

i grab a water from the fridge and go back up to my room i look in the miror to see my mascara was smudged everywhere

i go to my closet and put on a big sweatshirt and nike pros then throw my hair up into a lose messy bun

i lay in bed and stair at the ceiling for what feels like hours
how did i even get to this point

after a while i hear the front door close and footsteps coming to my door
then i hear a knock but ignore it

"alana" it was owens voice
i didn't want to see him, i didn't want to see anyone
"i'm coming in" he says
i stay looking at my ceiling
"hey" he says as he closes the door behind him
i look over and see shane with him

"you guys should leave"i say quietly
"are you alright" he asks
i don't move
"you never texted me that you got home so i just wanted to check in because it's been a few days and i haven't heard from you. none of us have."
"i don't know how i got home" i tell them
"what do you mean? you said you were going to uber"
"i didn't"
"alana who drove you home" shane asks
"it doesn't matter" i sigh

"are you ok, did something happen"
i sit up and hold my head in my hands
owen and shane both sit with me

"what happened" owen asks
i hesitate before speaking, they have known him for years i doubt they would believe me
"mark offered to take me home" owens eyes go cold
"then?" owen demands
"then we ended up going back to his house"
shane holds my hand in his while owens whole body tenses up
"he made us drinks, mine was vodka seltzer he had bourbon after the second drink i got dizzy and i didn't feel right after then he said i can lay down upstairs but i told him to take me home, he promised i would be ok there"
"so he drugged you" owen says, already knowing the answer
i nod
"there's more" i tell them
"when we got up to the bedroom he started kissing me and touching me i told him to stop so many times but he wouldn't get off of me, i tried so hard to push him away from me, i told
him no over and over rand he just didn't
stop" i say
"i swear to god i'm going to fucking kill him" owen quickly get up from my bed and walks out the door
i look at shane and we both chase after him by the time we get downstairs he's already out the door
"i'll be back later" i yell to my mom as shane and i run to get in the car

"owen stop the car" i yell at him
"he raped you alana why are you not letting me do this"
"he said if i told anyone he would make my life a living hell please just stop"
"i don't give a fuck what he told you, what he did is not ok why can't you see that"
"shane" i look at him for help
"i'm with owen on this, mark deserves whatever he has coming"

i sigh
i know he's right
but i didn't want this to be violent
"you can't hurt him" i say looking more at owen
"i can't promise that alana"
"this is my problem you guys didn't need to get involved. i shouldn't have even told you"
they both ignore me

owen speeds up causing me to worry
"slow down" i tell him
he continues to ignore me
i close my eyes and grip my sweatshirt

once the car slows down i realize we're here
my heart races
"stay in the car if you want, we shouldn't be long" owen tells me
i nod but chose to go with them

owen pounds on the door and a woman opens it
"owen honey what are you doing here, mark didn't say anyone was coming over" she says
"where is he"
"he was in the basement" she says confused
"what's going on?" she adds
owen and shane both push by her leaving her and i
"what was that about?" she asks
"mark and i had a minor issue they're just looking out for me"
"what happened"
"he uhm.. he did stuff to me while i was under the influence after he drugged my drink"
he face goes blank
"when" she asks
"a few days ago, you guys must have been out of town"

she pulls me into a hug
"i raised him better than this, i'm so sorry" she says
"i'm sorry for whatever they're doing to him down there" i tell her
"can't be as bad as what happened to you"
i give her a small smile
"i should probably go stop them"
she nods and i go downstairs

"owen" i quietly call out
"don't come in here alana" he says from down the hall way
i've never listened to what he's said so why would i start now
i go down the hallway until i reach the door and walk in slowly

no one looked hurt at least not yet
"you told them i raped you? you were asking for it since the second we got to my house"
my heart stops
"you son of a bitch" i yell at him
"you we're drunk, your memory isn't clear"
"so you're telling me i never said no, i never said i didn't want this, i never said to stop because those are the only words i remember coming out of my fucking mouth"
"no but i do remember you moaning"he smirks

i had so much built up anger towards him i didn't know what to do
i didn't know who shane and owen believed

mark's stands up and walks to the three of us
"now you can say all you want but no one will believe you" he tells me
i slap him across he face
"you drugged me" i yell
"you stupid fucking bitch you don't think i know what happened" i add
at this point i wanted owen and shane to go at him before i tried

"just admit you liked it" he smirks
that was enough to send owen over the edge
shane pulls me away from the two of them and holds me in his arms
"alright, owen that's enough" shane yells at him
i turn away from them not wanting to watch

it's been a few minutes, shane didn't want to leave my side so he let the boys break it up themselves
"alright lets go" owen grabs my hand interlocking our fingers and leads me down the hallway and out the back door
"owen" i stop causing him to turn around
"mhm"
"you didn't need to do that"
"yes i did"
"is he ok"
"he'll be fine"