Saving Myself (Law and Order)

Chapter 34♡

(Ariel's P.O.V)

"I'm feeling much better now." Claire said that I was progressing very well. "Would you like to keep the same targets?" I said yes. "I would just like to say that I'm proud of you honey." Olivia hugged me. "See you soon Claire." As we left, Liv asked me if we should get some pizza for tea. "Of course we should. You've just read my mind!" She giggled.. asking me about the holiday, we spoke about it. "I'm excited to just be at the beach. I love swimming and stuff." Getting to the delivery, she said that it would be so nice to make some memories before our new family member came along. "Just looking at stuff for his room is making me emotional. Just for Ell to have his boy." When we ordered our food, Brett texted me.

Just checking to see if you're ok. I enjoyed walking home with you the other day.😊

Texting him back, I tried not to blush. It was difficult knowing what I had already been through.

I'm good thanks. How are you? I'm just getting some food with Liv.

"Pineapple and Ham for you. And Pepperoni for Elliot and Paige." That sounded yummy. As we got going, I asked Liv how Amanda was. "She seems ok honey. You're very caring.' We then spoke about what clothes we were going to take on holiday. "I'm going to wear shorts with some t-shirts, take my favourite sneakers and some bracelets." As we got out of the car, we went inside. 'ARI!!!" My little sister ran up to me. "You got pizza? You and Mommy are the best!" I giggled as Elliot looked at me. "So, I'm like strawberry ice cream huh?" Paige then said that he was the best too. "You're so cheeky!" As we sat down to eat, Elliot said that he was looking forward to going away too. 'It'll be nice to spend time with your mom." Paige raised her eyebrows at me. I did the same. "We already have our little sibling on the way Daddy! We don't want any more!" She made everyone giggle. "I love you guys so much."

Olivia spoke about how much they'd already gotten for him. "His bedroom is going to be so big. I'm surprised that we've not thought about moving." Paige said that she saw her friend from pre school go to a new house the other day. 'CeCe has a big garden with a playhouse." She ate more of her pizza. My phone bleeped. "Who's that?" Elliot smiled. "Just someone."

My mom and dad are driving me insane. Did you wanna hang out again soon?

Eating the rest of my pizza, Liv nugded me. "We need to talk young lady." Finishing off my food, we went into the living room as Paige cleaned up with Elliot. "What's really going on?" I laughed. "With Brett? He's just a friend. Goodness!" I blushed slightly. "If I like him, you'll be the first one to know. I promise." Zara then rang me. "I'll be upstairs."

(Olivia's P.O.V)
I went back into the kitchen to help Elliot clean up. "So, she likes the guy huh?" Giggling, I had a feeling that he was becoming overprotective. "She is our daughter. I have to keep an eye on any guy she's invloved with." It was sweet. "I'll be packing on Friday as we're heading out on Saturday." I said that was OK. "We can go for long walks on the beach, have couples time at night.." Elliot dried his hands.. then he placed them around my growing bump. His head was on my shoulder. "I'd love that so much. I'm so tired." Taking Paige up to get ready for bed, Elliot followed me. "Mommy.. can I take my colouring book with me on vacation?" I said yes. "Of course you can sweetheart. I love you so much." I went to give her a quick bath as Elliot went to get ready for bed. Feeling slight twinges in my stomach, Paige splashed in the water. Her hair was becoming so long. "Your brother is kicking slightly harder tonight sweetheart. Say hi." She leaned into me.. talking to him. "Mommy and Daddy wished for you. I hope we get to play with you, pull funny pranks and jokes." I looked at her. My first baby was going to be 6 years old soon. She was amazing.

"Come on you." Drying her, I asked her if she was happy. "Of course I am Mommy. Are you happy?" I nodded. 'I am baby." As she picked her pyjamas, I took out the cream. Whilst creaming her, I felt another kick. "Hey baby.." I didn't want to do it again.. but I felt like I needed to. "Mommy. Can we read a story before bed?" I said that we could. As she jumped into bed, I got a story. Reading it to her, I felt a tear on my cheek. "Mommy. Why are you upset?" Laughing, I just said that it was my feelings. "Night sweetie." Kissing her on the forehead, I tucked her in. Going into Ariel's bedroom, I asked her if she was ok. "Yeah. I'm good. I'm tired though. Are you alright? What's wrong?" I couldn't tell her what I was really thinking.. what I really wanted to do.

"I'm just frightened. Elliot can't know. What if things change between us?" Ariel reassured me. "Has something happened lately?" Sitting there, I thought about the other night..

"Liv.. don't go. What about us? The girls? Our new baby boy?" I could just run and not tell him.. I had cut. I covered it up with a bandage though. "Well, I'll figure it out. Just give me time." Elliot took my hand. "Ow!" He looked at my scars.. "I don't wanna talk about it." Getting my stuff, I placed it near our bedroom door. "Olivia! Just let me help you!" Like I said, he didn't need a burden...

"I cut the other night. In private. I can't deal with my fears anymore. I've not done it in such a long time. I also just want to leave." Ariel hugged me. "We love you so much. Elliot loves you too. You know if we run away, it'll get worse. Our new sibling needs you." She was right. Hearing Elliot come upstairs, I hugged her. "Night honey." Having a quick shower, he asked me if I was ok. "Yeah.. I'm fine." He looked at me.. "Liv. Come on. Talk to me." Feeling his hand on my stomach, he spoke to our baby.. "Daddy can't wait to meet you mate. He sure loves your mommy. And your sisters." The more he spoke, the more I shut down. Getting in the shower, I heard him on the phone. "Yeah Mom. We can see you before we go away on vacation. See you on Sunday." How do I tell the one guy that I trust with my heart and soul that I relapsed? All of because my trust issues and my fear..

After my shower, I went to get dressed for bed. Elliot held me. "Ell. I cut again." He turned to look at me. "Baby.. thankyou for telling me. I know you. Did you want to leave?" I cried.. admitting how I really felt. "Yeah. I spoke to Ariel about it. I love you too much to even let you go." He held me so tightly.. stroking my stomach. Listening to me vent. Making sure I felt comfortable. "I don't know what else to do babe. I promised to be honest with you." He reassured me. "You are a wonderful mom. I love you so much Olivia." I just said that in the moment of relapse, I didn't think about him at all.. "All I saw was my mom. Thinking about the girls. It was hazy. Wondering if it was best for you if I left." He cuddled me. "We'll get through this. Let me help." Kissing him, I nodded. "You can help me become more loving, cook me more bacon and eggs.. and maybe buy me flowers every so often." He tickled me. "Ahhhh!!! You're so goofy." We eventually settled down..

I'm glad that I was honest with him. He was the love of my life.