Saving Myself (Law and Order)

Chapter 58♡

(Ariel's P.O.V)

I saw the time. It was 5am. I didn't really feel tired. Sitting up, I looked through my journal. I picked up my pen and started writing..

Dear Diary...

I'm so confused. A guy I really liked took every inch of my trust away. He slept with someone else. Behind my back! I trusted him. All I feel is rage. I can't even tell Mom or Dad anything. I wanna drink so badly. I wanna smoke. Anything to just feel numb. Both mom and dad love me very much. I just wanna leave. Hearing a knock on my door, I put my diary away quickly. Going to open it, it was Dad. "Morning sweetie. Aren't you going to school today?" I coughed. "I'm not well." He then felt my forehead. "Yep. I think it's best that you stay at home." We heard Caleb and Mom get up. "Ba! Ba!" I opened my bedroom door. "Morning honey. Paigey is just getting ready. Did you want some breakfast?" Mom tickled Caleb's chin. "Nah. I'm good." Mom raised her eyebrows. "Ok. We'll leave you. See you in a bit. Don't be too long. Otherwise we'll be late." I'm not even going to school. After they went downstairs, I opened my journal again.

I'm planning to get a piercing today. And I'm gonna meet up with some old mates. I just wanna be numb.. feel nothing.

After writing in my journal, I took out a black top with some jeans and I took out my black hoodie. I then went to get in the shower. I looked tired. After thinking, I went to get ready. Putting on some make up, I sorted out my hair. I wanted to dye it.. but Mom and Dad wouldn't let me. After brushing it, I put my hood up. Then, I sorted out my backpack. I took out a pouch with some pills that I had. Mom and Dad didn't know that I took anything.. I placed my cigarettes in the front. I then rang Ria. "Hey. Yeah I'm fine. If my mom or dad rings you, tell them that I'm with you. I'm not in the mood to even go to school today." Ria asked what was up. "I'm just.. it's nothing. Please help me out." She said that she would. "Thanks. You're a good friend." Putting my backpack on my back, I went downstairs to grab a cereal bar. Putting my hood up, I headed out. I texted my old friend Jack.

Hey. Are you around? I need stuff. I'll pay you. I know that I've not seen you in a while.

Catching the bus into town, my phone rang. Fuck! It was Mom. I just ignored it. She would stop calling eventually.. he texted back.

Well hello to you too Ari. I've got stuff. Meet me near the old house where we used to hang out. I've missed you.

I know that this was risky.. but like I said.. I didn't want to feel anything. I went across the road to the house. Standing outside, I felt my phone vibrate. Dad was calling me. Denying the call, I went inside. Going up the stairs, I knocked on the door. 'Hey.' He let me in. 'So girl, how are you?' I laughed. "I'm good.' Going inside, I smiled. It was like being back home.. for a minute.

Jack then made me a drink. "So, how's life?" He laughed. "It's alright. I'm on the run from my foster parents. My mom is alright. It's just my dad. He's a right idiot." Getting myself a drink, he asked me who I was on the run from. "I'm not on the run." I giggled. "I just needed some space. Have you got some cigarettes?" He nodded. "Here we go." I got my lighter. Smoking it slowly, he asked me if things were good. "They are ok. My mom and dad are great.. but I'm just about done with relieving my trauma.' Jack knew all about it. "It wasn't your fault Ari. You know that. I've known you since we were kids. We're both troubled." Taking one last puff on the cigarette, I asked him if he wanted to do a line. "Man, I've not done one in time. Why not?' As we sat down, we remembered small things that we got up to when we used to hang out. "You liked Mel a lot. Do you still hear from her?"

As he snorted, he laughed. "No. She's long gone. Why do you ask?" I shook my head. My phone buzzed again. It was my godfather. I answered it. "What?" He then went on about mom and dad trying to get hold of me. "Well, no! I'm with my mate! Just go away! I'm not going back there.' I ended the call. "It's just my godfather. He said mom and dad are looking for me. I just don't wanna go yet."

Jack said that I was high. "Ari. I know you. Just calm down." I snorted a bit more. The drugs were alright. "Why were you asking? Do you like me or something?" I shook my head. Jack was like my oldest friend. He was 16. In the past, I fancied him... but now, I just wanted to still have him as a friend. I saw the time. It was 2pm. "I had better go. Thanks." He touched my shoulder. "Anytime."

Making my way across the road, I saw 6 missed calls from Mom and a text from her.

CALL ME NOW! YOU'RE IN TROUBLE!

Dialling her number, she was so angry. "Where on earth have you been Ariel? And why did you shout at Barba?!" I could barely get a word in. "I've been out Mom. Am I not entitled to a private life? And don't even talk about school." Mom huffed. "I also heard that you didn't go. You've also not been keeping up with your school work! I heard from your teacher." I was nearly at the precinct. "I'm nearly outside Mom." Ending the call, I went inside. I slowly made my way to a table. "Hey kid." My godfather sat down next to me. 'I know you're not yourself right now. Your mom and dad are worried sick. So am I." I huffed. "I'm not..' I then laughed. "Ahhh... parents. They are such a joy.' He could see that I was high. "What have you been smoking Ari?" Mom then walked out of her office with Dad. "Young lady.. in my office now!" I dragged myself in there. Dad spoke to my godfather.

"Do you wanna tell me why you didn't go to school today or how you fooled your father into thinking that you were ok this morning?" I just smirked. "I've gotta go so can we hurry this up?" Mom wasn't happy.. I had secretly brought some hair dye and i wanted to dye it quickly. "You're grounded. Is this because of what went off with Brett?" If she mentioned that idiot's name one more time, I would go crazy. I also had my nose pierced but I had covered it up.

It was only a small piercing.. I didn't want to talk at all. Making my way to the bathroom, I took out the hair dye and did that. Looking in my bag, I couldn't find my journal.

Please.. please don't tell me Dad found it. I couldn't bare them knowing what was going on inside my head.

After I dyed my hair, I heard a knock on the door. "It's Amanda." I opened the door. "Woah.. Ariel. What's going on?" I didn't answer her. I finished my hair. "Sweetie. You can talk to me." My journal was missing and I needed to find it.

"Just come and talk." I was sick of hearing that.. "JUST LEAVE IT!" Mom and Dad turned around. "I've got your journal. We read it." I was extremely angry. "You two are so, so stupid! Give it back now!" I lunged at Dad. Auntie Amanda took hold of me as Mom blocked my way. "Honey, we just wanna help you." I swore. "Well, you fucking have! Thanks! I'm 15! And guess what, I smoked again today. And I snorted some drugs today." Dad was horrified. "Ariel. We can help you. You don't have to keep doing this." Dad tried to hold my hand. "Well, Brett doesn't think I'm worth it. So I may as well just get high instead." Mom hugged me along with Auntie Amanda and my godfather. "Let's go into my office sweetheart."

Mom took me in there with Dad. I just sat silently. "Ariel. Just talk to us. We love you so much." I was petrified to relieve everything again.. just talking made things worse. I admit it. I'm struggling. "Me and your mom had to find out what was wrong.. so that is why we read your journal. We know what Brett did. You're strong honey." I then cried. "Aww sweetheart." Mom hugged me tightly.

"I just feel lost. I know smoking and taking drugs isn't the best thing to do. I just get scared." Mom asked me why. "I'm scared by my past. I'm frightened that I'll keep relapsing until I can't get help." Mom took my hands. "You will always be important to me and your dad. Paige and Caleb adore you. They love you so much. You know how much Paige adores you." I agreed. "I want help. I just don't want to do it alone."

Me and Elliot hugged her. "Your mom and dad are here for you. You will not go through this alone. We love you." They hugged me until the tears stopped.







Author's note: These pictures are what I visualised for Ariel's current style right now.🌸

Lauren x