Saving Myself (Law and Order)

Chapter 1♡

(Olivia's P.O.V)

3 days. It had been 3 days since I had heard from him. I had just shut myself off from everyone. Including the guy that I truly loved. Amanda had called.. but I hadn't replied back. Getting up, I decided to make something to eat. A grilled cheese sandwich sounded good. Making that, my phone buzzed. It was Amanda. She knew that I wasn't myself. I couldn't ignore her. Looking at my phone, I rang her. The more it rang, the more nervous I got. "Hey Olivia. Is everything ok? I was worried about you." Sorting out my sandwich, I just sighed. "I'm sorry to have worried you. I just needed some time on my own. It's been rough." Amanda knew everything about me. I knew everything about her. "It's just Elliot. I've not heard from him at all. I  know things haven't been great since.." Ananda finished off the sentence. "The miscarriage." I wasn't hungry so I pushed the plate away. "3 days? Liv, why didn't you tell us? I could of stayed over. I feel bad." Telling her that she didn't need to feel bad, I asked her how Billie and Jessie were. "Crazy as ever. It's lovely having a busy household though." I just felt lonely.

"I'll text you later. I'm here if you need anything. Day or night." Thanking her, I ended the call.

Deciding to shower, I went to get my night clothes out. Tired. Sad. Alone. Those were three words that described me right now. Letting the water run, I just closed my eyes.

(Flashback)
"This is my body. I've just lost a baby. You have no idea what I'm going through." Elliot then tried to hold me. I shrugged him off. "Liv. I love you. Yes, I may not know what you're going through.. but I know that I can't let you go." He truly loved me. My heart always drew me back to him. After we had talked, I promised him that I would open up more. "You're my forever. I'm sorry for shutting you out." I then just let him hold me. As his hand squeezed mine, I felt the feeling of love for the first time. I loved Elliot. A lot. We then went to bed. He held me all night. His hands were sosoft. 'I love  you Benson." I smiled. "I love you too Stabler."

That felt like a lifetime ago. I was now wondering, thinking, hurting.... I then decided to go and get some sleep. As I climbed into bed, all I did was cry. I let the tears fall. Bit by bit. I wasn't alright at all. And that scared me.   Just letting my eyes close, I heard my phone ring. It was my best friend Nina. Sitting up, I answered it. "Hi Liv. Are you busy?" I could sense fear in her voice.. it sounded like she had been crying.  "Oh my God! Would you like me to come and get you?"  I put a black top on with my converses. "Yes please. I'm at the corner shop on Rosewood Avenue. Please come quick."

Giving my face a quick wash, I then checked my phone. Elliot had called me. 3 days.. 3 days.. getting in my car, I drove to the shop. Situations were running through my mind.. what my best friend must of been going through. Seeing her long brown hair, I noticed her straight away. Stepping out, she just seemed so frozen. "Liv.." Placing my coat over her shoulders, she cautiously stepped in the car. Driving slowly, she looked out at the view as the night passed us by. Once we got back to my apartment, I made us a cup of tea. "Here we go." As I sat down, I noticed that she had bruises on her cheeks.. small ones. Sipping her tea, I asked her what happened.

"Matthew hit me. We had a massive argument over me being defensive. Not opening up.. keeping secrets from him." Matthew was her one true love. They had been together since our college days. "I just felt his hand touch my cheek after the slap.. he threatened me. Told me that he would come after me if I told anyone." Taking her hand, I promised her that I would do everything to take care of her. "I've had quite the months too.. I miss Elliot. I know things aren't great." Nina sympathized with me. "We had just lost our baby. I was not in the right headspace to deal with that next stage of our relationship. The hurt, anger, questions.." Nina explained that we had to talk. "You two are meant to be together." I knew that she was right. "Did you wanna stay over? I've got space." Nina asked if that would be ok. "Of course. I could do with the company." As the evening went on, we spoke about our friendship. "I'm so lucky to have you by my side. We always used to go to parties." Laughing at the memories, I asked how she was feeling. "Ok. Not the best. Feeling sick at the thought of having to report him." I hugged her. "I'll be right with you."

Authors Note:
This is the start of a new fic.♡ I hope you enjoy it.