Battles In Life

30

Entering the complex of my apartment corey was walking out.
"Hey Lochie" "did you go see dana?" "Yes I did" "how is she?" "I really don't know how to answer that, she seems okay and she will be coming back to her sessions but she is also really upset that you put her in that position and she's had a few panic attacks because of it" "I know she won't even see me" "she said she does miss your company but she is also quite upset with you, I don't know how you are going to fix this Lochie" "I have no idea" "why didn't you just say no?" "Alexander and I have always helped each other. he shows his collections in my magazines and having my models in his collections helps build my company" "is that the magazine?" I looked at my hand holding the magazine "yeah" "can I have a look?" "If you want".
Corey had a look through the magazine then handed it back "it's a good line of clothing" "yeah it is" "that's her ex's brother?" "Dana told you?" "Yes she did" "was she not happy he was there?" "No she had no problem with who was there" I nodded "I'm gonna head up to my apartment, I'm going out to meet up with Christian later" "well take care Lochie and good luck" "thanks Corey, I will see you soon".

Getting up to the top floor I looked at danas door then walked into my apartment there's no point knocking she won't answer. Throwing the magazine on the counter, I grabbed my phone out and put it on the bench. Noticing a notification, I looked at my screen. A message from dana. Immediately opening my phone, I opened her message.

Dana - im fine

Dana is definitely not fine and to be honest I don't blame her. In a way I was hoping it would help her too, to show her how beautiful she really is but I know she won't even want to see the magazine. I should've said no but I didn't and that's all on my shoulders.
I just want to hold her again, see her bright green eyes get lost in mine, kiss her and be there for her but she won't let me.
Going for a shower, I couldnt get her eyes out of my head they way she looks at me as she laid under my arms. I don't think I will ever get to experience that again and it kills me. I haven't been able to sleep properly, I'm not really interested in eating, everything just tastes so bland. I always keep my phone close in hopes she will contact me but even if she does it's only a reply to what I have written and the messages are only short.

Getting out, I got myself dressed and made myself a meal, I need to eat if I am having a few drinks although I don't even feel like doing that but It will keep my mind occupied and I enjoy catching up with Christian.

Christian - hey mate we still meeting at the pub?
- yeah I will be there in about twenty minutes
Christian - sweet

Finishing off my meal I grabbed my phone and key then headed out the door.
Hearing my phone go off again I opened it up to see a message from dana.

Dana - the money has been transferred back to your account. I do not want it. I did it as a favor.
- you deserve that money dana, You do not owe me anything.
Dana - you helped me I helped you its done.
- at what cost? I pushed you away and that's not what I wanted. I just want you.
Dana - enjoy your night with Christian Lochie.

I knew by the last message she didn't want to talk anymore and I decided to leave it. That's the most she has spoke to me in seven whole days. Walking into the pub, christian was already here sitting at a table with two drinks.
"Hey christian" "hey mate how ya been?" "Alright, you?" "Busy it's been hectic at work this week" "keeps you busy though" "that is true, here's your drink" "thanks man".
"How'd everything go with the shoot? that was last week yeah?" "Yeah it was on Monday, the shoot went well and the magazine will be out next week. How's the shop?" "I had to hire another two guys we have been that busy, I'm thinking I should open another one" "I don't see why not, it's a big city and obviously people trust your work" "yeah seems like it. Is alexander happy with the new images" "ecstatic" "you don't seem to happy though" I just shook my head in frustration "no I'm not" "why not?" "Alexander requested dana to do the shoot" "and she wouldn't do it?" "She didn't want to but I begged her. She ended up agreeing to doing it out of anger. I haven't seen her since the shoot" "why not?" "She doesnt want to see me" "what are you going to do?" "I don't know, she changed the codes on her door too so I cant go over there" "I'm sorry man" "its my fault" "will she talk to you?" "Very minimal via text she won't answer my calls. She spoke to corey today though" "why him?" "He went to see her about her jiu jitsu sessions as she didn't go the past week" "hmm I don't know man I can't help you" "yeah I know"

Dana

Before doing my online shopping I checked my account. I like to keep track of all my finances. Noticing I had an extra three thousand in my account I looked to see who it had came from and it was the hernandez group. I don't want the bloody money, I didn't even want to do the shoot. Now I won't even be able to go out without people recognizing me when the magazine comes out. Transferring the money straight back, I did my online shopping then messaged Lochie.

- the money has been transferred back to your account. I do not want it. I did it as a favor.
Lochie - you deserve that money dana, You do not owe me anything.
- you helped me I helped you its done.
Lochie - at what cost? I pushed you away and that's not what I wanted. I just want you.
Dana - enjoy your night with Christian Lochie.

I didn't know what to say to that, he's the one who pushed me to do something I am not comfortable with. I have struggled to keep my head high the past week.
Worry is all I have felt, I know the magazine will be out sometime in the next two weeks.
I hope alexander is happy because I will not be redoing the shoot if he's not happy that's not my fault, I did what was asked of me and that's it.
Adam is my ex's brother and now he may be questioned by his family, I just hope they don't try to look for me and he won't give me away. I don't think he will, adam has never been one that has lied to me or hurt me but it's also his family.
I have given him my number but he doesn't know where I live. I guess if someone I don't want to talk to gets my number I know where they got it from.

Running myself a spa I put some eighties music on, the music that relaxes me the most and got into the tub. Taking in the coconut and vanilla aroma it helps me relax. I am thankful for corey coming to speak with me today and I will definitely be going back to jiu jitsu tomorrow I really enjoy those sessions and corey is an amazing instructor. He has not only helped me physically but also mentally. I need to be in the zone when doing my sessions any lack of concentration And I fail. He hasn't been so easy on me lately and I really do appreciate it, I need to toughen up. Although I have been quite sore I know it's worth it.
Resting in the spa for about half an hour I let the plug go and got out drying myself and put my pyjamas on. Having a quick bitr to eat I turned the music down a little and climbed into bed. So far tonight has been good I have managed to keep my heart rate low.
Laying in bed, I looked at the empty side of the bed where Lochie used to lay next to me pulling me close. I had mixed emotions. I do miss him and his company I miss his smell and I miss his touch, I miss his chocolate brown eyes looking into mine and his beautiful smile but he also put me in a position, I never wanted to be in. I don't know what to do.
Hearing my phone go off I rolled over looking at my phone to see a message from Lochie I knew it would be him.

Lochie - dana can you please just let me see you? I miss you everything about you. I hope you sleep well. Good night.
- Goodnight Lochie
Lochie - dana I know you are unhappy with what I had done but I don't want to lose you over this, you are what makes me happy.

Reading the message I just put my phone back down, I wasn't going to reply.
Closing my eyes listening to music I eventually fell asleep.