soundtrack of our love

we'll fall together.

my insecurities will be the death of me

bury your head in regret

its safe to say you're not over it.

you run from everything you possibly can

open your eyes

im reaching for your hand.

pull you off of this ledge

before you lose it.

i know its beyond tough.

we'll get through this.

i don't care if you want life to end,

ill do what it takes,

i won't lose my friend.

afraid to die

and afraid to live,

oh what a way to exist.

•we'll fall together by austin jones •

"jasey, seriously, fucking stop. ill leave, it doesn't matter anymore. im tired of you always hating on yourself. call me when youre done." and with that the door was slammed shut. all I could pay attention to were the broken picture frames on the ground. anger. anger issues. why didn't he tell me about this. i made one comment and it set him off. he snapped. he started yelling and i started explaining I was sorry. and I knew that I was worthless, he wouldn't listen. I needed to at least leave him a voice mail.

"sam. please please please please, come back. at least live here. i can't live with out you. i promise I won't. if I don't hear fron you within an hour, im leaving. so for possibly the last time, goodbye, and I love you." I started to pick up the glass that was everywhere. time was flying by, and before I knew it, it had been 45 minutes. i checked my phone, still no answer.

fifteen more minutes, no reply. i grabbed my keys and made my way out to my car. i reached for my phone to call alex, fresh tears running down my face. "hello?" "hey alex, have you talked to sam? he left really mad at me." "listen jasey, he's pretty pissed. he isn't mad at you, he's mad at himself. he said he hates how he couldn't change the way you saw yourself." i couldn't hold it in anymore. i sat there, in my car, crying on the phone to alex. "jase, are you alright?" "im perfect. can you tell sam I'm sorry, and goodbye." "wait, wha-" I threw my phone on the passenger side, floorboard.

i was driving through downtown, when I noticed all the tall buildings. seemed to cliché. instead I found the nearest gas station, and went to buy gasoline and matches. once I was back in my car, I started to drive to the creek sam and I used to visit.

i poured the gasoline onto my clothes and out of nowhere I heard 'jasey rae' start to play. I was still crying when I dropped the gasoline.

i remember distinctly the disappointment in sams voice when he said "what the fuck jasey."

****

i fell onto the ground and sat there, crying. I cried for what felt like hours before sam ran to me. he's seen me at my weakest so many times. "sam, I fuck everything up." "jasey, im sorry, I was drunk, and i was in a bad mood. im not mad at you. and ill try my whole life to make you see yourself the way I see you. incredible." he placed his hand under my chin, and lifted my head so I was looking at him. he started to wipe away my still flowing tears. "jasey, please stop crying. its making me even more upset with myself. I know you don't want to hear this, but it'll get better. I promise you that. im never leaving you, and I'll give you everything I have until you're happy. I'll give you every hour, every minute, every second, I have, to see you happy." he stood, and helped me up. "jase, will you marry me? i know I've proposed twice now, but this time I mean soon. i mean in a week." "sam... i can't wear a wedding dress-" he cut me off before I could finish the sentence, by kissing me. he then rolled up sleeves, and pressed his soft lips, that had grown familiar, to the scars that were buried in my wrist. "sam.." "jasey, you act like these will bother me. i don't fucking care, its part of you and im crazy in love with you, every fucking inch of you. these are just another part of you I love. They tell me that you're strong." i can't lose him. "yes, a million times yes."

a/n: im so disappointed rn bc the bands going to warped so far are not bands I like. I've listened to three of them. bvb, neck deep, and the amitty affliction. bryan said this week would be good but yeah, no. he acted like it'd be someone huge like bring me the horizon or mayday parade. im starting to regret spending $145 on warped tickets instead of 5sos ://

cute guys at school make me happy, even though there is only like 8.

I LOVE AUSTIN JONES SO MUCH. HES SO SWEET AND FUNNY AND I MISS HIS HUGS AND WOW HES GREAT.