Do you take thee...?

Remembering Your Scent

The silence was deafening and the only sounds that could actually be heard were the humming of the elevator going up and the sounds of our soft breathing that was synchronized. I thought about it over and over again. About turning to him grabbing his face covered in stubble and kissing him for the first time and making it my most precious memory of us both. I wanted so badly to lay my head on his shoulder and let my tears run down my cheek onto his shirt, because I had been so scared and selfish to push him away the first time because what? Because I was scared to let someone love me. It was so pathetic. Only now though had I realised how stupid it was to be thinking about these things and why the heck was I? Unless I kept reminding myself that he was engaged and I was with Forbes, I would've just jumped onto him there and then. The tension was unbearable and I had to say something. I was so anxious and nervous about this happening this morning but now I was going to be the one to bring it up.

I adored his presence. The smell of his white musk and sandalwood aftershave was sending shivers down my spine. It reminded me of those brief moments we had together before this mess began, where we would be curled up in each other's warmth with our bodies spooning and being able to feel his breathe on the back of the neck from how close we were.  His arm draped over mine with the other under me, securing me in his muscular, tanned arms with my hands rested on top of his which were on my waist. Our feet lurked around each others and he made me flinch every time he would move his toe and it would touch the ticklish part of my heel. That's what that smell reminded me of. The little yet huge moments that brought me so much comfort and sadness all at the same time. I felt a breathe of air swipe past my neck and move my hair strand along with it. As I brought my arm up to move the hair out of my eyes and let it back down to it's pre-existing position but that space was now occupied by another hand. His hand. He had edged it closer to mine and was now millimetres away from my thigh. Our knuckles brushed up against each others as we moved them closer to ourselves our of consideration and not being sure what each other wanted. Seconds passed and I found myself now interlinked between his fingers. We had both replaced our hands to where they were before and found each other once again. We stood in the moment for a slight second just taking in each other's touch after we had been deprived for what seemed like an eternity, before he turned towards me looking for me to do the same and our eyes did not fail meet each other like they always had any time we were in each other's view. His eyes were glistening like crystals and his eyelashes curled up to bless everyone with the blue hue to the entrance of his soul. Every detail of his face was visible as we hadn't been this close in forever. We had inched forward now with our noses being centimetres away and his hand had now left mine and was exploring my lower back. He respectfully pulled me closer. No words had been spoken and I didn't plan on speaking up. Not yet anyways. My arms were hooked under his armpits and now gripped onto his toned shoulders leaving little to the imagination. Butterflies had taken over my stomach but in a good way and I had never been more ready to kiss him. Our first kiss. I pitched onto my tiptoes since he was slightly taller than me and I moved in closer, slowing closer my eyes and pursing my lips. He did the same. With our lips now completely merging and the taste of the fresh minty essence finally being a memory I would forever remember, we adjusted our arms so that mine were now wrapped around his whole back securing me to him and with him having both his manly hands tightly holding my cheeks so that I wasn't allowed to leave, not that I wanted to but telling me that he didn't want to either. Everything was perfect. The scent of his aftershave still fuelling my thoughts and his lips still locked in between mine. I brought my hands up to his head, running my fingers through his perfectly styled hair, slowly and reluctantly removing our lips from each other. He had been so respectful and engaging by not being full on or overpowering. He didn't swallow me. It had been so filled with unknown love for each other and it had been filled with patience. I'm glad we had waited to have this moment because it felt so perfect and well-needed. We started into each other's eyes again and let them wander through each other's thoughts which were clearly mutual. Before the elevator dinged and the unspeakable happened, he spoke. Just those three words that I had waited to hear for so long. The 3 words I needed to hear. To make what just happened all okay.

'I miss you.'

His voice was so warming, calming, gentle and reassuring. It sounded like the first time I had ever heard him speak yet the tone was so different and the words too. I was mesmerised and before I could spit out the words I wanted to return, the elevator bell sounded. We whipped our heads to doors making sure nobody was about to see our intimacy and my jaw dropped, but not literally. The horror and anxiety filled my body once again and I stepped away from Derek as soon as I could, desperately hoping that the person hadn't witnessed a glimpse of what had been the most perfect moment between us.

'I didn't expect to see you here...'