Do you take thee...?

Wandering Thoughts

DEREK'S POV

When everyone makes those wishes as they blow out the candles on the birthday cake, they are most likely small wishes that you wont be disappointed at if they don't come true. This year, I made one as my fiancé stood exactly opposite from me, holding a white buttercream frosted cake. I put all my faith in this one wish and I hope more than anything that it would come true. I made the wish to spend the rest of my life with the woman who I saw stood across from me. 

It turned out that the night before the wedding was also my birthday which meant, bachelor party. I was buzzed to be spending the night with the guys. Just a night with no worries, no chance of getting called in for emergency surgery, not chance of being taken away by our women, since they were on the bachelorette party too. I was ready for a night where my mind could be free and I didn't have to stress about anything at least not until the next morning when I would married the woman I loved. That was all I could think about before I was stood in the lobby, bored out of my mind and fidgeting, hoping that one someone would notice my boredom and take me away from the situation. It was all before, I whipped my head around to the front entrance of the hospital and watched a woman glow in front of me. Her long, blonde ,with a hint of brown throughout the strands, hair sit perfectly just on top of her chest. Even though she had the most petite figure, her stunning body echoed throughout the room. I watched her stroll along the space and I witnessed the green hue of her eyes, put out the brightest of rays yet she somehow managed to show me her fear. Only we knew of each others presence and I continued to follow her movement until she disappeared from my sight as the elevator doors closed. I turned to my side and the chief stood beside me, with his hand on my shoulder and guiding me away from the unnecessary conversation. I looked at him in curiosity and asked,

'Meredith is here?'

'Eh-err, yeah she is, but Derek you've got to leave her alone. She doesn't want to see you.'

My heart dropped at the thought of her hating me made her worried to come back. I broke that woman and I felt nothing but guilt and selfishness. She was vulnerable and fragile and I broke the small bout of improvement she made. I knew that the best thing for her, not for me, was to leave her and let her come in peace. For the rest of the day, I tried not to think about her. I couldn't be with her and I loved Jennifer. I was marrying her tomorrow and I was happy. I was happy to spend the rest of my lie with her and have her children. She gave me everything I wanted and she was understanding. She clearly had the kindest soul as she forgave me for what I thought was the unforgivable. I was ready to see the woman at the end of the aisle walk towards me finally.

Hours Later

The attendings had thrown a small get together earlier in the lounge for whoever could make it and unfortunately I could only stay for 30 minutes since I was jam packed with surgeries because of the days I was having off, which is understandable. I wasn't mad because I preferred the surgeries to the parties, at least when the parties didn't involve alcohol. As I eventually finished for the next week, I couldn't help but think if Meredith was still in the hospital or if she had gone home or back to Florida. I walked into the car park ready to go to Joe's for drinks and darts. I searched around unintentionally noticing that Cristina's car wasn't anywhere and I knew that Meredith wouldn't have had her car, so I presumed that she had gone home. I wanted so badly to drive to her house and just see if she was home. I just wanted to ask if she needed anything, even just groceries. I would have done anything if it meant I just got to hear her voice. Maybe I should take ice cream to her. Anything that would make her not hate me as much but then on the other hand, staying away from her and letting her be might be all she wants and needs. In denial, I decided to do what I thought was best for her. 

MEREDITH'S POV

I woke up the next morning alone. Everyone had already gone to work or hadn't actually come home yet, so the house was silent and I could practically hear my thoughts out loud. I checked my phone first thing as I woke up to see if I had any messages from anyone or emails. I saw an email which informed me that my flight had now been delayed from 10am until 5pm , for reasons I don't know since they didn't go into detail. Thankfully I didn't have to be in work today otherwise I would have been majorly late but that only meant that I had to spend more time here. More time alone in my thoughts. In thoughts that I shouldn't be having. I got dressed for the day, made sure that my stuff was packed ready to get out of Seattle as soon as I could, and then sat pondering in a world that didn't exist. I had stupid, idiotic, unimaginable thoughts that only  lingered in my mind because of the person I had seen yesterday. My outfit consisted of a white, half buttoned up shirt layered under a magenta coloured V-neck jumper, matched alongside a pair of dark denim, low-waisted jeans that were covered up by the top of my outfit. I wore a single locket that not one person knew what was inside and a pair of small hoop earrings in my first piercings. My hair was curled and drooped below my shoulders and my curtain bangs were brushed to each side of my face. My attire was the complete opposite of Derek's who would probably now be tying the bow tie of his tuxedo and putting on cuff links to look well-suited and elegant. Mei would be styled in her pristine white dress and draped veil with minimal makeup and bouquet of roses complimenting her lipstick shade. I couldn't handle being alone on my own wandering through heart wrenching thoughts of the man I loved marrying another woman in the next hour. I made the decision to get in Cristina's car with the intention of taking her dress to the hospital so she could be ready for the wedding without as much hassle and rush. I drove to a destination where I knew I wouldn't be alone finally.