Do you take thee...?

Just Me and You

'You know you mean the world to me and that I love you very much. But there's something with Meredith and I don't know what it is. I don't even know if it's anything from her part. I wish it was simple and I could just say I want to be with her and not you or vice versa, but it's not and I love you. You make me so happy and I do want to marry you but.'

In the face of the situation and seeing her lie there, holding her anger in with everything she had, trying not to kill me, I was so confused by what I wanted to do. Meredith was now showing no signs of wanting to carry on and she didn't even know what she wanted to do either. I may have made a mistake. I might not have. 

MEREDITH'S POV

I woke up the next morning, ready to tell Derek what I had decided. After being up all night long, thankfully not having woken Forbes whilst I had been downstairs doing all sorts, I had realised there was no denying that we were meant to be together. He'd saved my life and yes, there was also no denying the fact that I was scared out of my mind to love him and let him love me but I couldn't carry on without him. I had been so stupid to say 'Give me time' because I didn't need time at all. What I needed was the strength and courage to tell him, when he was actually conscious, that 'I loved him.' All I prayed for at this moment was that he hadn't told Jennifer yet because I wanted to speak to him first and make sure our minds were in the same place. With us all being in work at the same time today, I needed to somehow get him alone on my own. I hadn't told Marcus yet and as he walked down the stairs dressed in a jumper and jeans, all I pictured was that one day that would be Derek. He would travel down the stairs and I would shout to him 'it sounds like a herd of elephants are coming through the roof' since he was much more heavy footed than he realised. Our kids would be behind me, tugging on my shirt and asking me to get their lunchboxes and take them to school. Then he would kiss the kids goodbye and then myself. Placing a delicate touch on top of my lips and withholding his tongue from sliding into my mouth since we saved that for when the kids weren't around. I knew right there and then that I had to end things with the oblivious being stood before me. But not until I had spoken to Derek. 

'I'm gonna wait in the car. I need to be at the hospital in like 15 minutes so please hurry up.' I shouted to Forbes from the patio. 

I made my way down the path with my bag over my shoulder and the faintest smile across my face knowing I got to see his precious face again. The whole journey there was silent and the only sound that broke the silence was the radio which was playing 'Can't Help Falling In Love With You' by Elvis Pressley. That song was our song. Not mine and Marcus'. Mine and Derek's. It had been the song that was on the radio multiple times when were together. Coincidently, when I was sick, he came over and knocked at the door and as soon as he step foot inside my house the words 'wise men say' started playing and he grabbed me by the waist and hand and did a waltz ,but amateur style, through the hallway, securing me in his arms because I was still so ill but he was so desperate to have that moment. He was a romantic and I couldn't believe at this moment that I had ever pushed him away. We arrived at the hospital finally after what I felt was an awkward journey but he probably thought it was normal since he wasn't really a morning person and we didn't talk much on the way to work anyways. As soon as I walked through the automatic doors, there he stood, looking so fair and poised. Beside him was Mei who, to be honest, had a pissed off look on her face and was glaring in my direction. 

'Dr Shepherd, I need to speak with you urgently please. Do you have a minute free this morning?'

He looked at me and opened his mouth to speak but before he could, she interrupted and spoke for him.

'We actually have a surgery together this morning and then we are going over last minute wedding details, so no sorry he doesn't.' Derek just looked at her in disbelief but didn't actually speak a word.

'Oh okay, no problem but if you do get a second then a talk would be great. Thanks,' I politely replied back unaware of why she seemed so angry. I knew Derek wouldn't have said anything to her because I asked him not to and I thought that he would have respected me enough to wait. Forbes picked up my hand to lead me off, we turned our backs to them and I heard whispering in the background.

'Dr Grey, I have a couple of minutes now if you just let me go note this phone number down, I can meet you in my office in 10.' He showed no emotion toward either me or Jennifer but I gave him a slight smile and thanked him.

I was so nervous and excited and bricking it and could feel butterflies in my stomach at the thought of actually telling him. I knew I wanted to tell him. I knew I needed to tell him. I was grateful that he had given me time to speak to him even if it was only a few minutes but I didn't mind that they were going to do a surgery together afterwards because after that I knew that any talk of surgery would be between us. When we were doing them together and I was assisting him in Neurology, which is where I wanted to be. Then when we had both arrived home after long days of procedures after procedures, we would be able to fill each other in whilst wrapped up together, warm and cozy in our bed and then fall asleep and do it all over again the next day. My heart was beating for our future. 

I had waited those 10 minutes then walked up to his office, turned the door knob with so much anticipation and walked in where I saw him sat at his desk with his head in his hands. Then my stomach flipped.