YOUR LOVE {Itaewon Class}

Heart Attack

Before she ever stepped into DanBam her life was a lot different. The purpose of life according to Yi-Seo was to survive. And to accomplish the purpose of life, she had to be true to her real self: she had to be a psycho.

One of her specialities was using people. She always found the riches children in her class and became friends with them. At least it looked like that from the outside. The truth was she had put her defences up. Never letting anyone too close to her and never being woundable.

So falling in love was not only impossible but undesirable.  She didn't want to fall in love. She didn't want to put her love on the line, because she just knew that if she was once in love, she would not have a happy ending and she would get hurt. She would have a heart attack.

The reason for the inescapable heart attack was that deep down despite her psycho side Yi-Seo was very caring. The people who hurt her loved ones were in big trouble. She easily ruined their life without hesitation. But the people who hurt her were in even bigger trouble. Because on her list of important people, she put always herself first.

She was egoistic, but she had a reason to. Yi-Seo was a person who knew her worth and treated herself like she deserved. Protecting herself was her first priority in her life. Her instincts always told her that it was not the right time falling in love. She always listened to her guts.

Her guts told her to never say "yes" to the right guy, who was always nice. She had to get herself further in her life and a nice guy would not help her.

Although there was not a big difference between good or bad guys. She never had trouble getting what she wanted. No matter if he was a nice or a bad guy, rich or poor, they were all on their knees for her not just because she was beautiful and intelligent, but she knew how to manipulate them. She knew that. And she played them like a Ken doll. Because she didn't care.

She could do anything with them. Even if she didn't wash her hair, didn't wear fancy dresses or didn't put makeup on, they would still love her. But it didn't matter. She would always make them bounce like a basketball after she was finished with them.

Was she happy living this way? Yes. At least she thought so. Until her first deep but short conversation with Park Saeroyi in front of the police station.

After the conversation she became curious. She wanted to know more about him, about his life, about his past, about everything. So she started to work for him.

And then it happened. He made her glow. Faster than she could have ever imagined. Better than she could have ever imagined. Her instincts whispered in her head every time she saw him: He was it. End game.

The situation was more difficult than in the fairytales. Just realising you have met the love of your life and then running into his arms was not something for real life. Because love has to be accepted. It had to be accepted first by Yi-Seo. But she didn't even think about it because she knew that he would easily give her a heart attack from she can't recover. So she tried to cover up the way he made her fell, she tried to put her defences up. But every time, she failed.

Every time she wanted to push him away by being harsh or arrogant, she couldn't do it. His smile or just even the proudness in his eyes made her accept her love for him more and more.

Besides, she has changed. He made her want to act like a girl, wear elegant but still cute outfits, paint her nails and as time went on she even started to wear high heels. She never tried to be good for others, especially for guys, but when Saeroyi came around she got paralyzed. She got lost in his big eyes hoping they would absorb her.

Yi-Seo tried to be herself around Saeroyi. She knew that he didn't like fake people, but with Yi-Seo it was different. Her personality was different. Because every time she tried to be herself, it came out wrong. When she spoke what was on her mind, nobody understood her, not even Saeroyi. They didn't understand why she was rude to everyone around her, only she knew that she did it for him.

But it was not fair. She felt hurt that no one saw the reason behind her actions. Not even Saeroyi.

Her mother always taught her that pain was more trouble than love was worth. But Yi-Seo couldn't help it. It felt so good. Being close to him, helping him, watching him achieve his dreams and waiting to get lost in his proud eyes.

She couldn't stay away from him. She tried, but she failed every time. He needed her. For the first time in her life, she let someone use her even though she knew it would hurt someday.

And it did. On that night when she told him she loved him. There they were. His words gave her a heart attack.

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inspired by Demi Lovato's song: "Heart Attack"