Meeting half way

Chapter: back to reality and regrets

Finn
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This is the day.
I swear I'm going to apologize to Gwen, and maybe even ask her out. On a real date. I know, scary stuff, right?
As much as I don't want to say it, Amanda was right.
If I do tell Gwen how I feel I might lose her, but if I don't I might lose her too.

I still don't believe in fate or the true love shit.
But I do know that all I want to do is hold Gwen in my arms. Twirl her dark blonde hair in my fingers, and finally kiss her. Oh how I want to kiss her.
••
"Finn! Dude, you okay?"
I suddenly snap back to reality.
My friend Dan says looking at me, with curiosity in his brown eyes.
"Hey, the bell rang,"
"Oh, right. Yeah, I'll see you later," I wave to him as we both leave English class and part down the busy hallway.
I see a flash of dark blonde hair as I turn around to my next class.
Gwen.
My hands start to go clammy and my cheeks begin to heat up.
'It's just clumsy Gwen, no big deal.' I say to myself.
'Where's your confident? Just apologize and ask her out.'
But as much as I wish it was 'no big deal' I knew it was. It was bigger than anything right now.
I slowly approached her, tapping her shoulder.
Not Gwen.
My insides relaxed, as the girl looked at me with admiring eyes.
"Hi, can I help you?" The girl said with a flirtatious smile. I smiled back, just to be polite. "I'm sorry, you just have very..um..pretty hair,"
I turned on my heels before the girl could respond. Racing down the hall, I started to scan the hallways for her.
People must have noticed the determination in my eyes because people would slide out of my way as I jogged down the hall.
I spotted Gwen's friend Ange by her locker, talking to her tall sporty boyfriend.
I walked up to them, but they didn't notice me approach.
"Hey, sorry guys. Ange can I talked to for a minute," I say, giving her a weak smile.
She scoffs, Gwen must have told her. "please, I need to apologize. But I can't find her anywhere."
She rolls her eyes this time.
"Dude just leave," her boyfriend Steve says. But Ange interrupts him before he could fit in another word.
"You know what Finn? You had plenty of time to apologize. And I don't think today is the right time, she has enough going on right now with her grandfather," she spits out.
Grandfather.
"Ange, what happened?" I say, trying to keep my pulse inside my neck.
"You didn't know?"
"No, what is it?! Please."
"He died last night"
And then suddenly everything stops.
I can't move. The sounds of the loud hallway are now muffled and the whole world is a blur around me.
Gwen. He's gone. Gwen.
I need to hug her, I need her to hug me.
I..I...need to get out of here. I need to get to Gwen.
That's when I start to run. Down the hall. Bumping into the people, not noticing when they swear at me. Not noticing the fact that class starts right now.
I just ran to the door.
My car seemed a lot closer this morning.
I slide into the front seat and drive.
Without thinking twice, I drive straight to the only person I need to see.
The way to Gwen's house is imprinted into my brain, as I turn the sharp corner onto her street. Her driveway is full of cars, so I find a parking spot on the side of the road. I run out of the car toward her small brick house.
He's gone.
I have to keep strong. For Gwen.
The house is unlocked and I don't hesitate to hurry in.
Shutting the door behind me.
"Finn?" I hear my moms voice from behind me. And then Gwen's mom appears in front of me. "Uh...I'm here to see Gwen," I say turning to keep my voice from breaking. "Did you just leave school?" She asks. I look down at my feet and nod.
"He's fine. Gwen's upstairs. She could really need someone right now. She won't talk to me about it," Gwen's mom smiles, "her dad is just as upset about his dad. But they can't seem to talk with crying,"
Without another word I run up the stairs, skipping steps and quickly pull down Gwen's secret staircase to her bedroom.
The smell that enters my nose is too familiar; books, vanilla almonds, and spring air.
As I crawl up the staircase I wonder 'how the hell does Gwen do this with her leg?'

 Never mind that, where's Gwen?

The room is empty, but I notice the window open. I quietly walk into the room, towards the open window leading out to the almost flat roof.
There she sat. Her back to me, her wavy hair tied into two braids that ran down her back, and a large black hoodie covered her torso.
She must have heard me because at that moment she turned around. Her eyes were red and irritated looking, tear stained cheeks and trembling lips.
Without hesitation, I crawled out the window and sat next to her on the soft blanket she had laid out.
And without a word, she wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled her face into the crook of my neck. I leaned back, so we were both lying on the ground. Our bodies tangled together, sharing the same grief. Neither of us spoke.

And there we lay, grieving over the person who brought us together.

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