赤 - RED.

𝟎𝟐

breathe

Dazai woke up, still on the bathroom floor. he felt like crying, suddenly breathing became harder. he washed his hands one more time and left the bathroom.

he went to his room, and changed his bandages, trying to not look at himself. he was so pathetic, weak. he changed clothes too and proceeded to put some gloves on.

his hands were dry, scratchy. scars and fresh red marks on them. he laughed.

as he was starting to feel hungry he went to the kitchen, looking for something to eat. there was nothing but a cup of instant noodles, it was ok.

after he ate he left his house, wondering if it was necessary to go to work. he wandered through the city, hands in his pokets, sweating a bit and feeling anxious. his nose was red, the breeze was chilly and he was freezing. he smiled. good.

-

he arrived to the detective's agency, sighing he opened the door and put his widest, yet fake, smile.

"morning!!" Atsushi looked at him and smiled back, his eyes softening.

"morning, Dazai-san". Dazai felt sick, he really liked Atsushi.

"you're late". Kunikida looked at him, in his eyes only reproach. Dazai sighed dramatically.

"oh, Kunikida, i am indeed not late, you're just here early". Kunikida frowned and looked away.

Dazai sat down at his place. so noisy. he took out his headphones and put on some music to make himself feel better.

classical music was, something he already knew, maybe something Fyodor played for him once before. he smiled genuinely this time. Spiegel im Spiegel playing on his headphones.

someone tapped his shoulder, he flinched and opened his eyes.

Atsushi smiled apologetically. "the president wants to see you". Dazai pated Atsushi's head and smiled.

"ok".

-

"so i heard you saw someone of the port mafia yesterday".

Dazai was startled but smiled, "chibi-chan and i just crossed paths".

"chibi-chan?" Dazai felt stupid. he put his hands behind his back, starting to feel dizzy he scratched his arms over the bandages.

"Nakahara Chuuya, sir".

Fukuzawa smiled, "i see. did something happen?"

"no, we just talked".

"it's fine. then you can go".

Dazai bowed at him and left the room quietly. when he reached the corridor he began to gasp, one hand on his chest, feeling like he was going to die.

-

when he arrived to his desk again, he let himself drop at the chair, feeling exhausted.

"is everything ok, Dazai-san?" Atsushi looked at him with puppy eyes, he felt bad.

"yes, dear, don't worry". Dazai tried to give him a reassuring smile. Atsushi stared a little, sighed and smiled.

"fine".