赤 - RED.

𝟎𝟑

drink

when Dazai left the agency he wasn't in the mood to go home, so he went to a bar, Lupin. he knew he could always go there.

"Dazai-sama". the man across the bar said. Dazai beamed.

"Akihiro-san!" he smiled, wide and genuine. the other man looked fondly at him.

"what would you like to drink?"

Dazai seemed to be thinking, just to say "the usual".

the other man, Akihiro, turned around and started to prepare Dazai's drink. a comfortable silence between them.

-

Dazai was already on his third drink. he's not that drunk, but he seemed more loose. he was talking to Akihiro, the latter listening to everything he said.

"and you don't know what he said!" his voice was a pitch higher.

"what does Nakahara-sama said?"

"he said i was crazy and that never happened", he snorted.

"and did it actually happened?"

"wha- of course, Akihiro-san!"

"maybe he was embarrassed". Akihiro always trying to make him better.

Dazai frowned and said under his breath "as he should".

Akihiro wanted to laugh at that, Dazai was just still a little kid.

"you should go home, Dazai-sama, it's getting late". the other one looked at him with big puppy eyes but didn't complain.

"sure. thank you, Akihiro-san".

the older smiled at him, "whenever".

and with that Dazai left to his house.

-

when he arrived he had this warm feeling on his chest, it made him feel disgusted.

he opened his drawer to take out a book. a photo falling down from it.

when he looked at it he gasped, his heart stopped for a second and his breathing became ragged. he dropped it.

he took his head between his hands, trying to stop his thoughts.

"you killed him".

he lost balance, falling on the floor.

"you knew what was going to happen but you didn't stop him".

another gasp.

"it's all your fault".

Dazai cried out painfully, pulling his hair, shaking his head.

he went to the bathroom. he turned on the shower, ice water again. he began to violently scrub his body with an iron sponge. red spreading all over the floor.

he scrubbed one more time and screamed, suddenly feeling the pain, being aware of what he was doing.

he wanted to disappear.

-

he didn't sleep that night. he didn't left the bathroom either because every time he tried to move his legs, this ones would pain so awfully.

he laughed. at least he felt a little cleaner now.