赤 - RED.

𝟏𝟒

hug

he just opened his eyes, cold sweat running down his back and tears forming in the corners of his eyes, his hands were trembling and he was there, bedridden without wanting to move a single finger.

'it's ok' he told himself, trying to sound convincing, but his body was betraying him. sharp and shiny against his soft and delicate flesh, deep and painful yet relieving. red, and he remembered Odasaku, the woman and himself. it was warm, so warm... and he liked it.

the blood was falling down his arm, falling on his clothes and the floor. it was a worrying amount of it, but Dazai was feeling just fine. his face scrunched in pain when he cut on top of an old wound and re opened it. 

his arms, his legs, his neck and some parts of his torso looked horrible, full of scars, fresh cuts and bruises. some because of his previous job and most part of them made by himself. he hated them but he enjoyed doing them, and now he just couldn't stop.

when his arm was full-covered in blood he stopped, looked at it and it scared him. his arm was open, about six or seven millimetres deep and blood never stopped to come out, then it hit him and he laughed. knowing his luck he wouldn't bleed to death and he would just end up in the hospital again. he doesn't want to go to the hospital. 

- 

"and those wounds?" asked Odasaku, his voice harsh but his eyes full of concern. Dazai paled and started to move his leg nervously. "are they from the shooting?"

a little nervous trembling laugh escaped him. "i had to go to the bathroom during the fight, and i fell into a hole from the rush." this time he smiled widely towards Sakunosuke and the latter looked mad at him this time. Osamu's smile trembled.

"you're lying to me." Dazai felt attacked by the statement, but he knew very well that he was correct. "i'm not." his tone was more serious this time. Odasaku laughed derisively and Osamu cringed in his seat, feeling small.

"you don't have to lie to me, Dazai." Dazai felt his eyes sting and he clenched his hands in his coat. "is something wrong? you can talk to me." Dazai stopped breathing for a second and he could feel cold sweat running down his back. 

"it's fine." he smiled again, Odasaku rolled his eyes and got up, walking towards him, Dazai was startled. suddenly Odasaku hugged him, Dazai flinched and tried to pull back, but Sakunosuke just hugged him tighter. one of Oda's hands was on his hair, stroking it gently, the other one at the lower part of his back, going up and down, caressing it. "please let me help you, Osamu."

Dazai's slender trembling hands went to Odasaku, tightening his grip on his coat and burying his face in his chest. "i'm sorry." his voice sounded almost like a whisper, drowned out by the little sobs he let out. a tear slipped down Oda's face too, feeling hopeless because he didn't know how to help his friend. 

"shhh, it's ok", he ran his hands through the brunet's hair, "i can help you, let me do it." Dazai hiccupped and a little tired laugh left his mouth. "don't, Odasaku, you can't". Sakunosuke pulled back and cupped Dazai's cheeks, caressing them with his thumb. "i don't care, i'll do anything, Osamu." Dazai put his hands on top of the elder's and caressed them too. "Odasaku..." said in a warning tone, Sakunosuke giggled and  ruffled Dazai's hair, the latter sighed and leaned on the red-haired's shoulder. "now shut up." he left a kiss on the brunet's head and stretched out his hand. "here. let's go." Dazai beamed, took his hand, and showed that beautiful smile that Odasaku loved. a real one. "let's go."

-

i love Odasaku and Dazai's relationship so much 🥺 (as friends obviously, don't expect anything else) but do expect a lot of content from their relationship.