trepidation | h.s

part forty six

tw// mentions of abuse/child abuse

Lydia Styles

9:45 pm

I had been crying for too long to produce anymore tears. My head is pounding from bawling my eyes out and the one person I want here to make me feel better is gone.

Harry has left to risk his life for me and Daisy and my heart is broken.

After he left, I laid in the bed in the room he left me in for like thirty minutes. I stayed there, numbly crying and grieving a death that I wasn't even sure of yet.

The best years of my life could end tonight if he doesn't come back. That's all I want...for him to come back to me. I need to see his face again and hold his cheeks and kiss him. I need to tell him how much I love him. I need to do so many things but I can't because I don't have him.

I don't know where he is, what he's doing, if he's even alive.

It's terrifying.

I take a deep sigh as I slowly sit up from the bed, my head spinning from all the crying. I sniff and wipe under my eyes with my shirt, trying to compose myself before I leave this room that I've been in for too long.

I open up the door and walk down the hallway toward the velvet curtain. I push it open to be met with the empty club and Eliza sitting at the bar with her head in her hands.

She's going through the same thing. She thinks she's losing Louis like I'm losing Harry.

"El." I say her name as I walk over to her. She lifts her head and looks at me. She's been crying too.

"Are you okay?" she questions when she sees me, tucking her loose hair behind her ears.

"Not really." I murmur as I get onto the stool next to her.

She nods in solemn agreement. We're both hurting...grieving.

"Louis didn't even say goodbye to me, Lyds. Not a formal one anyway." she shakes her head in pain.

I put my hand on her arm to comfort her. "He probably didn't want to freak you out."

"I don't care." she murmurs. "I deserved a goodbye and an 'I love you'."

I sigh and take my hand off of her, looking down in my lap.

I cant believe that this is our reality. We were supposed to have so much more.

"Harry was building us a house." I say, my face twisting in pain at the thought. "On the beach."

I feel Eliza looking at me, I can tell she's a little shocked by that. She reaches for my hand in my lap, causing me to look at her and meet eyes. She squeezes my hand reassuringly.

"He'll get that house done and you'll move in with Daisy and your newborn and you'll begin the life that you two wanted." she says. She was serious, but I know she's just trying to make me feel better.

When I go to open my mouth to respond, I'm stopped by a sudden clattering noise by the front doors.

My heart surges with fear as I watch the glass being broken.