trepidation | h.s

part thirty four

this is part one of the double update! the next part will be up at the same time as this one :) 

put on your seatbelts besties, things are getting scary.

//

Lydia Styles

Things are out of sorts. Things feel wrong.

It's been two mornings with me not waking up with Harry by my side. That's wrong.

It's been two mornings with me not seeing his face, but instead seeing the faces of my disappointed parents. That's out of sorts.

It goes without saying that my father has relentlessly been trying to convince me to leave Harry. He can't seem to grasp the concept of me loving Harry despite the fact that I know about everything. My mother—she's been different.

She hasn't been telling me to leave Harry like my father has been. She's just been very quiet, which honestly, is almost worse. 

My heart feels so heavy, and I don't have Harry here to make me feel lighter.

I've become so accustomed to him. He's like apart of me now, so this time away from him during a period of hurt is really troubling.

If I was hurting, I'd usually be able to hold Harry until the bad feelings went away...but right now I can't do that.

I miss him so much, and I don't care how pathetic I sound. I need him. I'd do anything to have him here, like normal. We'd have dinner with my parents like a family, but we can't do that anymore.

I don't know how I'm going to convince my mom and dad to let Harry back into their hearts. He's not a bad person.

He's done bad things, yes. But he is not bad.

And what makes all the difference between good and bad for Harry is that he's trying. I see it everyday. He's trying to be a good husband. He's trying to be a good father. And he's succeeding. He wants to right his wrongs. That's what makes him so perfect to me.

His imperfections make him flawless.

As Daisy naps, I look down at my phone that was silently taunting me from the nightstand.

I haven't called or texted Harry. We haven't been in contact for almost 48 hours. It doesn't feel right but I know it'll make it worth while when I do see him again.

But, my phone is beckoning me, and I know that he's just a phone call away.

I didn't get to talk to him much after the whole situation happened, so I don't know where his head is at. He could be hurting just like I am.

I need to call him. I just need to hear his voice. 

I huff and grab my phone, immediately going straight to Harry's contact and pressing it, holding my phone to my ear as I hear it ring.

It rings only for a second, then my shoulders fall with relief once I hear his sweet voice on the other end.

"Hi." he says softly when he answers.

"Hi." I say back, just happy to hear him.

"How are you? Is everything okay?" he asks, his voice sounding a bit tired.

"Yeah. I just missed your voice." I tell him.

"Well I missed yours." he says through a yawn. I smile to myself.