trepidation | h.s

part fifty

Lydia Styles

2 weeks later...

Standing in the mirror of the bathroom, I bundle up another wad of toilet paper and hold it under my eye to catch my falling tears.

In my knee-length white dress and my pinned back hair, you'd think I looked elegant. But, my face said otherwise. My mascara that once coated my eyelashes is gone now, as the rest of my face looks flushed.

I'm a mess.

I've been a mess for two weeks now. Two weeks of crying, nightmares, and breakdowns. It's been hard, but it's not like I expected it to be easy. What pisses me off, is that Harry and I have to deal with the psychological aftermath of what Xavier did to us while he doesn't have to feel anything.

I'm glad he's dead, but apart of me wishes he was forced to watch his enemy live on with the life he wanted.

Two days after we escaped, a knock occurred at our front door. I was making lunch, and I dropped and broke one of the plates because of how hard I flinched. My first instinctual feeling was that someone was here to kill us for killing Amy and Xavier. But, when Harry answered the door, we were instead met with one of Matteo's associates from Venice.

Matteo was killed on Flame Night but he was fully prepared to die...this associate made that clear to us.

We were all given half a million dollars on behalf of Matteo. It was his thank you, although he had nothing to thank us for.

We almost didn't accept the money, it wasn't like we needed it...but the associate insisted that this was Matteo's dying wish in an official statement he created before helping the Kings fight.

We were also invited to his funeral in Italy next month, but that was offer we did have to decline. Harry thought it would be better to try and heal here and a big trip isn't exactly what we needed, it would be more of a distraction.

Last week, we celebrated Elijah's birthday. That was one of the only good nights we've had. Everyone had fun, everyone was smiling.

And, at the end of the night, Louis proposed to Eliza.

We watched as it happened, and apparently Harry was the only one who knew because Louis needed help picking out a ring. I watched Louis get down on one knee in front of my best friend.

It made me happy that she was going to marry someone that she deserved.

Teddy has been off, realizing now that Niall is gone. Zayn was the one who ended up taking him in because he has the most space. Teddy is like a piece of Niall that we all cherish. I just hope he knows that we're taking good care of something he loved so much.

Harry's been helping my mother and father find a new house. He insists on paying but my parents are being stubborn on that.

What hurts is that my childhood home is gone, and everything is burned to ashes with it...photographs and nostalgic items that I'll never get back.

Those people took so much from us.

In these two weeks, our bruises and evidential marks from what happened are mostly gone. My nose is almost healed, the doctor says it should be fully recovered in a week. Daisy hated that we were bruised up. She didn't know what it meant or what they were from, but she knew that it hurt us when she would touch our faces. She didn't want her mom and dad to be in pain.

I've been trying so hard to hide the emotional pain from Daisy. It comes in waves sometimes, and I'll just relive every minute of that night in the length of a second. Harry has encouraged me to cry, and let it out instead of keeping it all within...but when Daisy's around then I force myself to either suppress it or slip away to somewhere private.