trepidation | h.s

part thirty eight

Harry Styles

I felt a deep attachment to Lydia tonight...

Maybe it was the drinks, or the joint, or the sex...but something about this night made me feel like our souls were woven together tightly.

I don't wanna let her out or my sight, nor do I want to stop touching her.

We got off of Zayn's roof after disappearing for nearly an hour. We stopped in the bathroom to freshen ourselves up a bit before we head back down to the party.

Standing in the bathroom with her, I watch her movements as I lean against the marble bathroom sink. She went pee and then started fixing her hair up...still wearing my red flannel that I wouldn't let her give back to me.

It looks better on her anyway.

A small smile is on my lips as I watch her look at herself in the mirror. She's so pretty—way out of my league in my opinion. I think that I could stand here and admire her for hours.

It's approaching 2 in the morning, she's high and a little drunk. It doesn't matter when we leave but I just have to get her safe in her parents' house before they wake up.

"Okay, I'm ready." she says, stepping back from the mirror.

"You wanna go back and party?" I ask as I grab her hand.

She nods. "We should probably make ourselves seen again."

With her hand in mine, we walk back down Zayn's staircase. The party was still alive and well downstairs, people still pounding back drinks and drugs.

I was feeling pretty relaxed from the joint, not feeling the need to heavily party tonight anymore. I don't know what Lydia's feeling, though...so if she still wants to go hard tonight then I won't stop her, I'll just supervise so she doesn't go overboard.

When we get back into the heart of the party, I try to scope out the guys. I could see Niall on Zayn's couch making out with that girl named Ellie on his lap. Louis and Zayn were no where to be found right now though.

I bring Lydia over to the bar, grabbing a new unused solo cup. She had brought the bottle of vodka back down from the roof with us, so I quickly took that from her and put some into this new cup.

This cup would be for her, it's not like I'm gonna sit around sipping on flavored vodka.

I throw some ice in the cup and then add some club soda to make her drink all fizzy.

Right before I hand it to her though, I see a weird expression on her face...like she was unsure of something.

"Are you okay?" I ask, speaking over the pounding music.

She bites the inside of her cheek. "I just feel like I shouldn't drink anymore tonight." she shrugs.

I look her up and down, watching her body language carefully. I couldn't externally see anything wrong with her...maybe she's just not in the mood to drink anymore.

I nod and set the cup down.

"Do you wanna head home?"

"Neither of us can drive." she observes.

"Our house isn't far from here. We can walk there and sober up before you have to go back to your parents'." I tell her.

How bizarre is it that I can't even keep her at our own house?

She groans, throwing her head back with a whine. "I don't wanna go back to my parents."

I pout my lip and take her cheeks in my hands, tilting her head and kissing her on the forehead. "I know. I promise you it won't be much longer."