Claustrophobia

33

TW: mention of cutting, crying, self doubt

Third Person POV

The kids shared a look after Janus left to do work in his room. Tommy left a few minutes ago to help Thomas.

"What's going on with mom? Something is wrong with him." Remus asked, his leg bouncing up and down. Damien sighed. "Janus definitely isn't okay and my best guess is that we are stressing him out."

"What do you mean?" Roman asked raising an eyebrow. "We've been nothing but perfect. The incident the other day was an accident. The argument about Irra's friends causing us to not talk to each other lasted like 2 weeks! The constant fights we have that Janus has to take control of by literally controlling us is frequent......" He got quieter with every word.

Damien just made a 'you see my point?' kinda gesture. Roman nodded. "Yeah okay we are all assholes."

"Hey! That was your affair! What have we done?" Logan asked in offence. "Nothing out right but you've been over working causing Janus to force you to stop and get out of your room. The days were Virgil isn't being crushed by anxiety, he just stays in his room and doesn't help in anyway." Irra listed off before grabbing another juice box.

Virgil and Logan paused before agreeing. "So what do we do?" Virgil asked. "How do we fix it?"

Damien shrugged. "Get along? No more petty fights or over working?" They suggested. "No. It's gotta be more!" Virgil said as he racked his brain.

Everyone shrugged. "There has to be something we can do. It has to be more than apologise." Roman said.

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Tommy held Janus in his arms. He had to take Janus away from his desk and trap him in a hug. Janus rested against him and stayed quiet.

"Am I a bad mom?" Janus asked after a while. Tommy was caught off guard by this question. "What? No Jan! You definitely aren't. You're the best." He said.

Janus teared up. "I feel like a horrible mom." "Jan look at me." Tommy said softly. Janus sighed and turned to look at him.

"Janus you are the best. You take so much time for them. You are always there for them no matter what. When you're mad at them you immediately make it better. You take care of them when they are sick or are hurt. You don't take sides and don't play favourites. You are perfect." Tommy told him.

Janus teared up and immediately wiped his tears. "Why doesn't it feel like it then?" He asked. "Because your head is tricking you. You focus on them all the time and never on yourself. I know it doesn't feel like it but I promise. You're perfect." Tommy said softly.

"I-I don't feel like the kids understand that. I feel taken advantage of." He mumbled. Tommy kissed his head. "I can talk to them about it so you don't have to." He offered.

Janus smiled and teared up. He hugged Tommy. "Thank you." He mumbled. Tommy held Janus close and kissed his head. "Of course dear."

They stayed in Janus' room, listening to music and cuddling. Janus kissed Tommy softly. They shared soft 'I love you's and Janus fell asleep. Tommy smiled at his sleepy snake and sighed. He really had to talk to the kids.

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Tommy sat in the living room with the others. Janus was asleep upstairs.

He explained what Janus' told him and honestly now the kids felt way worse.

"How we make mama feel better?" Irra asked as he climbed onto Damien's lap and cuddled with them. Tommy sighed. "I'm not sure." Roman mumbled. "Hugs?" Irra asked.

"Has to be more. Janus has suffered and sacrificed so much for us. Something has to be done." Paranoia said, now joining the conversation.

"We should apologise, clearly, and maybe do something nice!" Damien mumbled. "Like what exactly?" Logan asked.

Damien shrugged. "Not sure Wolverine." Everyone sighed.

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There was hours of ideas going back and forth.

Some things just wouldn't work. Others people didn't want to do.

They agreed on a few things.

-Petty arguments need to end,
-if you insult someone apologize after you both calm down
-all drama made in the Imagination, stays in the Imagination
-relationship problems are for the ones in the relationship unless it's an emergency
-try not to yell (this is just a general things for everyone but Janus is becoming sensitive to it)
-Help Janus in anyway you can, even if it's just following the self care times Janus suggested

Everyone seemed happy with everything. Then why was something missing.

Damien and Tommy both knew yet stayed quiet. The last thing should be: keep an eyes on Janus at all times.

Tommy clearly knew about the cutting, Damien straight up guessed it. They saw all the signs and clued it in.

Neither opened their mouths but both knew Janus' secret.

——With Janus——

Janus woke up in his room alone. He was breathing hard. "I'm fine. It's fine. He's gone." He mumbled hugging himself tightly. His skin burned where Patton touched.

Janus calmed down and pushed his hair away from his face.

They sighed and shifted before fixing their hair and went downstairs. They saw the others talking and smiled softly at their family getting along.

"Hey Jan! Sleep okay?" Para asked. "Kinda. Woke up from a nightmare which was fun." Janus chuckled making a joke on it before sitting next to Tommy and fiddling with the purple bracelet the kids gave them.

Tommy kissed their head. "Need to talk about it later?" He asked. Janus shook their head saying it was fine.

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The day went on a usual, bit with everyone making an actual effort for Janus' sake.

Damien did catch a glimpse of a bandage on Janus' arm. That's all the conformation they needed. They definitely had to talk with Janus.