The Potter Diaries

MONSTER

It's been a week since Pansy's death. I barely ate, I didn't leave my room. Draco and Blaise would come every once in a while to check up on me...but I didn't have the motivation to talk to them. I just wanted to lay there, almost as if I were the one that were dead.

"Y/n..." My stomach twirled with butterflies. "Come in." Lorenzo walked in with chocolates, and sat next to me. "These are for you." He said softly. His voice was gentle and quiet, he stroked my hair and laid next to me. I turned so my face was in front of his.

"It'll get easier." He spoke lowly. "Will it?" I asked, my voice broke. "I promise." I stared into his big brown eyes, and I smashed my lips into his. He didn't hesitate to kiss me back. I pulled away and smiled. "Thank you." He whispered.

I sat up and so did he. "I'll see you later Y/L/N." He got up and walked away, winking before he left. I slammed back down and smiled to myself. He's everything I wanted and more.

I finally had the energy I needed to get out of bed, I threw on a green hoodie, and black leggings. My hair was in a low messy bun, and I walked down to the common room. I saw Astoria and Mattheo snogging on the leather couch, I suddenly  gagged and quickly walked to the halls.

"Y/n!" His warm voice comforted me like a blanket. "Cedric! I'm so glad to see you." I smiled, and it was genuine. "I'm so sorry for everything that happened, but I'm ecstatic your feeling better." He pulled me into a hug, "Thank you Diggory." I messed with his hair.

"Want to walk with me?" He asked, and I nodded. We walked all around the castle, outside, I even showed him the gazebo. As far as I knew only Draco and I knew that place.

"The first task for the tournament is soon. Harry Potter let me know we have to fight a dragon." He turned to face me, the sunlight glowing onto his gorgeous face. "That seems a bit dangerous don't you think?" "I'll be fine! I've been training." I faked a smile, if I lost Cedric I don't know what I'd do.

We spoke for hours upon hours, then we both went to our common rooms. I walk in but not all the way, I wasn't able to be seen by anyone.

"I did it boys, told you I would." Lorenzo's voice said from inside the room. "No way! Dude that's sick." Tom replied. "She totally believes it to. She kissed ME." What...what are they talking about.

"I told you guys I never turn down a dare." I strutted over to him, his jaw dropped at the sight of me. "Y/n..." He started.

"Shut it. I don't want to hear your lame ass excuse. I heard everything. Guess what? I only kissed you because I was in pain. I needed somebody to be there for me. I thought you were that somebody, but nope. You're just a selfish, manipulative, backstabbing man-whore. Who's your next victim? Astoria? You disgust me. Burn in hell." I slapped his cheek and walked off to my dorm.

I laid on my bed and tears fell down my cheek, I acted tough in front of him, not giving him that satisfaction. I thought we had something. I'm going though so much right now, it feels like the walls of my life are crumbling.

"Y/n." It was Draco. "Come in." Blaise and Malfoy appeared in the doorway, they walked in and sat on my bed. "Drink this, it'll make you feel better." Draco said and handed me a cup. I gave him a confused look and sipped the drink, I immediately felt off.

"How are you?" Blaise asked. "I don't want to live anymore, I don't want these dorms, I don't want these classes, not gonna need this uniform anymore since I won't be here to wear it. I mean unless you are able to get every supernatural creature on the other side to get me back. Would you? I know you'd want your friend back. Would you, Blaise? Because I wouldn't. I don't know does that make me a bad person? I have no idea."

"Y/n stop thinking like that you're scaring me!" Draco said. "Well what am I supposed to Draco? I-I mean there's no room in this world for me. There's nothing here for me anymore Draco! Every inch of this school is filled with memories of the people that I love that have hurt me or died! Pansy, Lorenzo, You, even you! I mean they all hurt me. Everyone hurts me. So what? What am I suppose- I mean how am I gonna- I can't even- There's nothing left me Drac- Ah!"

I couldn't help anything that came out of my mouth...truth potion. It eventually wore off and I saw Draco crying.

"I-I didn't mean it." I whimpered. "No Y/n. I heard you, I hurt you. It's my fault, just stay away from me! It's for your own good. Don't talk to me anymore." "You don't mean that Drac-" "DON'T EVEN SAY MY NAME!" I flinched at his voice, he slammed my door and rushed out. I started bawling my eyes out, everything hurt. Blaise tried comforting me but it didn't work.

He eventually left and I cried myself to sleep. Everything crumbled into pieces.

[DRACO'S POV]

I slammed my door when I entered my room. I'm a monster, like my father. I can never love anyone, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve Y/n. It hurts so badly, I can't even bare to imagine the pain she's going though. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I hated crying, it made people weak, but in this situation I couldn't help it. I slid down my door and rested my head in my palms.

How could I be such a monster?

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stop i feel so bad for draco and y/n. ALSO i tried my best altering the words from elena's breakdown to match the story, so it may not be that good, but i'm trying yall.