DreamSMP one-shots ||

// Moving on. //

Hello i spent a lot of time on this 👍 enjoy :-)

TW/CW: Mentions of past abuse
~

"No Tubbo I do not want to go live with you in Snow-chester." Tommy said in his usual, lightly mocking tone as he walked down the Prime Path; Tubbo following shortly behind.
"Wha- why? It's nice there and I'm quite proud of it. Jack lives there- and Foolish, even Charlie's moving in too!" Tubbo said.
"Tubbo I offered for you to stay with me in my place and you just left- and built a new one all far away!" Tommy said trying to make it sound like he was upset, but not so upset that it would make Tubbo concerned.
The truth was, Tommy was in fact pretty upset at Tubbo for moving away after locking Dream up, even though he knew he probably shouldn't be. It wasn't a serious type of upset that would tear apart their friendship or anything, but an irrational, low-key kind of upset. Part of Tommy wished Tubbo would realize it and apologize to him, but the mature side of him knew that he was just being petty and jealous; though he'd never admit it out loud of course.
He knew it was a good thing that Tubbo had moved on from the SMP (the place that hurt him and tore him down even if he was never transparent about it), yet Tommy couldn't help but be greedy with his friendship, and wished Tubbo would stay with him in his little dirt shack. Tommy was jealous because in his eyes, Tubbo was dealing with everything much better than he was. Tubbo was moving on with his life, making new friends and even growing his own community. Tommy would never hold Tubbo back from that, so when he secretly got annoyed whenever Tubbo brought up Snowchester, he either stayed quiet about it or expressed it in minuscule amounts as 'jokes'.
Tommy would love more than anything to live with his best friend, but his pettiness and all those times Tommy had trusted someone just for them to leave would grip him in a tight fist, always taking control over his rational emotions and thoughts. This was probably the billionth time Tubbo had offered for Tommy to come stay with him, and Tommy wasn't having the best day as it was. He needed a break before his negative emotions took over him completely, and he ended up showing the side of himself he hated the most.
"Well I know, but you've seen it, it's- it's better!" Tubbo said, making Tommy's chest ache. He knew Tubbo didn't say it to be mean, but it still hurt because of how important the place was to him. Sure, his house that's carved into the side of a mountain isn't necessarily appealing to look at, but it was his, and it meant something to him. It was the only house he'd ever known, it was special to him, and Tubbo might as well have just called it flat out shit.
Tommy stopped in his tracks. "You know- you're kinda just tagging along, you haven't got anything better to do?" Tommy asked, either wishing Tubbo would just shut up about Snowchester and hang out with him or for him to go away for now. He liked being around Tubbo, just not when he was constantly trying to persuade Tommy into joining Snowchester.
"Mm-nope, I'm just tagging along." Tubbo smiled cluelessly, just happy to be there.
Tommy sighed. "Well I think.. Tubbo I'm going to go off on my own now this way. You should uhh.. yknow." he said, hoping Tubbo would take the hint and leave him alone for a bit.
"Oh. You don't want to hang out?" Tubbo asked.
"No. I have stuff to do.. by myself." Tommy lied. He didn't have anything to do, he just felt like everything was becoming a bit much for his liking at the moment and needed a step back.
"Oh, alright. I'll see you later then I guess, bye Tommy!" Tubbo smiled as he began walking away in the direction of his new home. Tommy said goodbye, turning and walking the opposite way to his own.
As he approached the mountain he sighed heavily, walking in and closing the doors behind him. He looked around, trying to think of what to do with himself.
He turned to his left, bending down and opening his enderchest, rummaging through it till he pulled out a trident and a netherrack sword named 'Nightmare'. He looked down at the items, instantly thinking of their true owner who, at one point, Tommy thought he was good friends with.
He sat down, looking over the weapons carefully. He thought about Dream, and all the good times they had. He thought of the first time Dream had let him try out this exact trident in his exile because he was feeling down. He thought of Dream cracking jokes as they mined for ores together. He thought of the times Dream would keep him company when nobody else would...
'What am I thinking? What's wrong with me?' Tommy thought to himself, putting the weapons away. He silently cursed at himself as he also remembered all the horrible things Dream had done to him; he almost killed Tubbo for god's sake! He hated Dream, he hated himself even more because apparently somehow even far away behind bars, Dream was capable of getting in his head and manipulating Tommy. He hated it. He hated Dream. He hated himself.
Days like today were the worst for Tommy. Days like today, Tommy just couldn't seem to hide his feelings. He didn't understand them half the time, he didn't understand how after everything, especially now that things are good and okay, that he still felt this way. He didn't get it, he wished he could stop feeling like this or tell someone about it, but he wasn't one for ever really reaching out and talking about his feelings. He felt like it made him weak, and it would only make him feel worse. He was the kid who messed around and made fun of his friends for laughs, he wasn't supposed to be emotional. It was hard for him, harder than anyone really knew because he could never bring himself to tell anyone about the abuse he endured in exile, mostly in fear of not being believed. He couldn't even bring himself tell Tubbo, his closest friend.
He just wished he wasn't so alone. He wished he had someone to lean on for once, but he was too afraid of judgement. So, he decided it would be best if he'd just deal with it himself behind closed doors.
He wished Tubbo was here. He wished he could tell Tubbo, but deep down he knew he would never understand.
Tommy sat up, putting the weapons back into the ender chest and pulling out a disc: Mellohi. He closed the chest, leaving the house and walking outside to the bench he always seemed to return to.
He inserted the disc into the music box, taking a seat on the right side of the bench where he usually did. It was strange not having Tubbo with him, but at the same time he felt like he needed the lack of company. He just wanted to listen to the music, and gather his thoughts.
Tommy rested his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands and trying to focus on the music.
'Just focus on the music.'
'Just focus on it, focus on the music.'
'Just focus. Just-'
"Tommy?" A voice asked causing Tommy to jump, interrupting his thoughts.
"SHIT! Sam what the hell?!" Tommy exclaimed, turning around to face him and putting a hand over his chest.
"You okay?" Sam asked, standing along the Prime Path. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"I'm fine. Please go away." Tommy said in a flat tone, turning back around. Tommy closed his eyes hoping Sam would leave. He held his hands together tightly to try and stop himself from shaking and breaking down completely; he refused to embarrass himself like this.
"Tommy I.. I think maybe we should talk." Sam said softly with hesitance.
"I don't want to talk. Goodbye." Tommy said dismissively. He stood up suddenly, pulling the disc out of the music box.
"Tommy?"
As he tried to walk past, Sam put his hand on Tommy's arm causing him to flinch away.
"Dont-" He stepped back, looking Sam up and down. Tommy silently cursed at himself again for being so jumpy.
"Tommy, it's me, it's Sam." Sam said, concern washing over his features.
"No I- I know." Tommy avoided eye contact, hugging himself slightly.
"Can we talk?" Sam asked again.
Tommy let out a shaky breath, pausing. "Fine." he went back to the bench, sitting down and playing with the disc in his hands. Sam sat down next to him, looking out into the evening sky.
"How have you been Tommy?" Sam asked after a moment.
"I'm good." he replied, the tone of his voice expressing the opposite.
"Okay. I just wanted to check in, I guess. I thought I'd take a walk for a bit, being stuck in the prison gets.. a bit lonely." Sam said. Tommy side-eyed the man sitting beside him, but stayed quiet.
"I mean I guess it isn't too lonely. I've been talking with Dream quite a lot, actually." Sam leaned back on the bench.
"Okay?" Tommy flipped the disc with his fingers, scanning over object with his eyes.
"He uh... he told me a lot of things, he talks about you a lot." Sam said.
"What?" Tommy sat up, facing sam.
"Yeah, I don't know." Sam stopped himself, unsure if he should actually say what he wanted to.
"Well- what did he say?" Tommy asked before he could even think about it first.
"He talked about.. about being with you when you were exiled." Sam said carefully. Tommy looked down at his shoes, wondering what exactly that meant.
"We were.. we were friends.. I think.." Tommy said unsurely, his head already begin to spin in confusion. He hated thinking about his past relationship with Dream; his mind became all cloudy, as he rested the disc on his lap to clench his hands a few times and keep himself grounded.
Sam hummed. "He uh... he told me otherwise."
Tommy let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, leaning over to bury his face in his hands once again.
"Tommy... why didn't you tell anyone?" Sam asked softly.
Tommy shook his head, the realization fully setting in: he knew. Sam knew probably everything that had happened to him, he knew. Tommy wasn't sure if he even wanted Sam to know, or anyone for that matter. In the end he supposed it was too late now, anyway.
He scoffed. "I've tried to, so hard. Every time I'd open my mouth to talk about it I just... it won't come out, not how I want it to, anyway." Tommy paused. "It's not like anyone would believe me, they'd think its all bullshit." he felt tears prick at his eyes, trying to blink them away.
"Tommy they know he's evil, I don't think they'd put what he did to you past him-"
"He's in jail now, it doesn't matter. Besides I'm not one for talking out my emotions with just anyone, Sam." Tommy said.
"I know you aren't, but you're doing it now aren't you?" Tommy shrugged slightly, wiping away silent tears. "I just.. I wasn't going to bring it up in the first place but I saw you sitting here and... I just didn't want you to feel completely alone, I guess."
There was a silence between the two. Tommy didn't know whether to feel thankful or not, he was conflicted with himself because of everything he had going on. He'd never had someone to comfort him like this, and wasn't completely sure how to react.
Tommy hesitated. "I'm all messed up, Sam. That's how it feels, like I'm.. messed up."
"I don't think you're messed up, you're not hopeless. I mean, you made it this far, that should count for something right?" Sam tried to lighten the mood, but didn't get any response from the boy next to him.
"Tommy, I'm not going to treat you any different than anyone else just because I know. I just wanted to be here for you since nobody else really can, you know? People.. people care about you, even if you don't think they do." Sam said, tilting his head a bit.
There was another silence. "Thanks." Tommy said simply, standing up. He walked over the music box and put the disc back in, as the song filled the air. He sat back down, staring out into the sky as the sun finally began to set.
"It will be okay. I'll be here if you need someone, alright?" Sam asked, getting a small nod from Tommy. Hearing Sam say those words felt strange to him, considering almost every other adult on the server had harmed him in one way or another at some point. He made a mental note: 'Sam is one of the good ones.'
The man stood up, "I have to get back to the prison now, you know where to find me."
"Bye, Sam." Suddenly, Tommy's heart was feeling a bit lighter after the conversation. It felt good, like it was something he needed.
Sam began walking away, as Tommy heard him speak again. "Oh, hey Tubbo." he greeted.
"Hi Sam!" Tubbo smiled, passing Sam and walking around the side of the bench to sit down next to his best friend.
"Ah, Mellohi." Tubbo sighed. Tommy silently nodded, thinking for a moment.
Suddenly Tommy turned, pulling Tubbo into a tight hug. "Woah! You okay.. big man?" he asked the blonde. Tommy only hugged him tighter as Tubbo wrapped his arms around him in return.
After a few seconds Tommy let him go, turning back to the dark sky; the moon shining bright above them.
"You know Tubbs.. Snowchester doesn't sound as bad all of a sudden." Tommy said. He figured, things were different now. He didn't have anything tying him down, and he realized home wasn't necessarily a place, but more in the people he cared for the most. He didn't need to stay here.
Tubbo's eyes seemed to light up in excitement. "Really?"
Tommy shrugged playfully. "Eh, maybe my brain's just turning to mush from hanging out with you all the time." he smirked as Tubbo playfully punched his arm. "Ow!"
"You mean it? You'll come stay?" Tubbo asked.
"Well, I guess if I have to. I'm going to need one of those jackets of yours though." Tommy motioned to Tubbo's brown fluffy jacket.
"I already made you one, I knew you'd come around!" Tubbo grabbed Tommy's hand, pulling him up.
"Shi- jesus, relax!" Tommy laughed as Tubbo yanked him. Tommy snatched the disc from the box once again as Tubbo pulled him along excitedly.
Maybe this could be good for Tommy, getting away from the SMP for a bit. Maybe he'd even talk to Tubbo about the past a bit more, seeing as they hadn't done it much. Luckily, they were both alive (somehow) and Tommy realized he wanted to make the most of his life now that he knew things would be alright and hopefully more calmed down for the time being.
As the two walked, Tubbo ranted on and on about Snowchester and all the things he'd built and the future plans for the place, and for once, Tommy didn't feel bothered about it at all.