Sixty-nine

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I rubbed my tired eyes as I entered, immediately being greeted by the cold air-con and the aroma of coffee. I took a shaky breath as I looked around, trying to find him.

Yes, I agreed to meet with Jungkook. I decided that I should let him explain, but that doesn't mean I will give him a chance. I haven't been feeling anything ever since yesterday, all I could feel was numbness and just calmness, yet paranoid.

A worker greeted me, I greeted back, not feeling like ordering anything. I then looked up the stairs, knowing that Jungkook always chose the second floor instead of the first.

I then gripped onto the railing, feeling my heart-beat fasten as I neared and neared him as possible. That was when I saw his back come into view, I took a deep breath before walking to the table, feeling my palms sweating.

That was when I pulled the chair: immediately, Jungkook looked up at me with shocked eyes. I felt a frown etch onto my lips as I saw how his sclera was in a faded pinkish red, knowing that he has been crying and hasn't gotten any sleep.

I haven't seem him this vulnerable. I then sat down in front, clutching the end of my dress as I took a deep breath again, feeling my heart thumping even faster in my chest.

"I.." Jungkook started. I decided to not say any words, knowing that he will finally explain everything which he has been keeping away from me.

"I just want to say I'm sorry." He apologized, "I was a jerk.. and I know I shouldn't have done it.. but I just didn't want to seem like a fool to Yugyeom and BamBam.."

You shouldn't care about what people think of you, and I've learned that the hard way, one way or another. I blinked, digesting the information he had just told me.

"If you want to know the reason why I started.." He paused, "B-Bullying you, then I will explain everything from the start.

You were absent that day, and I was alone. I was shy back then, and I didn't talk to anyone, considering how shy I was back then as a sixth grader. Then.. Yugyeom and BamBam then came to me..

They told me that you skipped school.. and that you skipped school with girls who hated you, because you were sick of me.. and I believed them-

I know, it was stupid of me to do so, and I shouldn't have believed them from the start, but I wasn't thinking straight, and then they offered themselves to be my friends as a replacement.. and I accepted it."

Oh. I watched how Jungkook clutched onto his hands, I could see his shoulders lightly shaking, which made me want to hug him, but I just held myself back, knowing that it isn't the time.

"Everything was going good.. but then.. they told me that you hated me, and that I was just nothing to you.. and that you only talked to me just so that you could break me after.. and I got.. got so angry that I just wanted to yell at you.

And that was where everything started.. they taught me how to become like them.. to become trouble to anyone and everyone. Mom didn't notice because she was too busy crying over Dad.. and I didn't interfere with it at all.

When you came back to school, as if I changed overnight, I started bullying you the next day.. It felt weird, but it felt good at the same time because I had control over you."

That was when I felt a pang at my heart. I closed my eyes, controlling my breathing, before opening them again and seeing small tears already dribbling down his cheeks as I could hear his breathing hitching from time to time.

"I felt bad deep down, but I always pushed away my thoughts and only focused on how great it felt to bully those who bullied me before.. i-it was like I was thankful for who I was back then."

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