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Chapter Twenty-One: Solitude

Trigger warnings for this chapter:

• Mentions of self-harm and slight physical sensations of self-harm

• Mentions of torture

• Topics surrounding sexual assault and sexual abuse

• Discussions of a past eating disorder

• Triggering/harsh language

• Mild depictions of violence

• Slightly sexually explicit segments

• Effects of traumatic events and effects of PTSD

Please remember to take care of yourself when reading.

Note that switched points of view also really matter, in this chapter.

―

*Thursday, May 21, 2020; 9:00 P.M.*

*Linden's point of view*

"You know something that I've always wanted?" I ask.

"What is it, Linden?" Adrian responds.

"Most of everything that you're doing for me, is what I've been wanting to happen for a long time. At some point, I actually gave up hope of getting away from those monsters, but after everything that you had done and said to me, I thought that there was just one last chance of me escaping." I explain.

"For the past two months, I fought extra hard for my life, because I just knew that you were going to be waiting for me, Adrian." I continue. "Even when I thought that you hated me for what I did and said to you, I just couldn't bring myself to forget you. No matter how hard I tried to forget you during those times, you still remained in my thoughts, so I quit at what I was doing, and I continued to fight. I didn't know if you would have wanted anything to do with me right then, or anymore, for that matter. Despite all the self-doubt I was experiencing, I never quit."

"I went through unspeakable, sadistic torture during those times, and even when all of that was going on, I never gave up on trying to find my way back to you."

"I've always wanted to feel like I belong, and at least be treated with a little decency from people. However, now that I have way more than that, it feels like a dream; like this isn't real, and when I wake up from it, I'll once again, be faced with the harsh reality that is my life."

"What I'm trying to say, is that all I've wanted was to be treated with respect, and feel like I actually have a place to stand, in this world; the fact that you're treating me with not only respect, but love as well, just feels so unreal. I'm not complaining; I'm just telling you how I really feel."

"I think I know what this is. You feel that what's happening to you right now — which is me acting really kindly towards you, and sort of spoiling you — you feel that it's fake, or something like that, because you unfortunately don't really know what it feels like, to be treated like a human being." She replies.

"However, I cannot stress enough how this is real. This isn't a dream; it's real life, you're finally away from those monsters, and you're here with me." She gushes.

Rather than saying anything to her, the most that I do, is look up to her, and nod my head toward her. The room is quiet for a few seconds, and I take a brief look at Adrian, and I notice that it seems like she's deep in thought.

"Hey, Linden, when was the last time that you had a bath, or a shower?" She asks.

"Will you get mad at me, if I said that I can't remember?"