Numb | Editing | 18+

Chapter Fourteen: failing.

Trigger warnings for this chapter:

• Mentions of past abuse

• Triggering language

• Violence

• Mild torture

--

"You can't force me to love you. What if I love someone else?"
"What are you going to do about that? What are you going to do, then?"

— Linden Elysia James; 2019

...

*Monday, March 2, 2020; 1:39 p.m.*

*switching points of view*

key:
Adrian: underlined
Linden: bold

"So, Adrian, I don't know how you'll react to this, but I have another major surgery tomorrow."

Adrian takes a deep breath, and she stares into space for a few seconds.

"What's the survival rate?" I hesitantly ask.

"They're estimating around 35-40%."

I feel my palms start to sweat as Linden says that. I literally just got her back yesterday, I can't lose her, I just can't.

I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to do this. I figured that it was now or never.

I get up from the chair that I'm sitting in, and I walk over to Linden.

I put my hand on the right side of her face, and she flinches a little bit.

"it's OK, Linden. I'm not going to hurt you."

At some point, I feel her put her hand on my wrist, and she softly squeezes it.

Oh dear god, not this again.

I stare right into Adrian's eyes, and the moment that her eyes bore into mine, I felt all of my troubles melt away.

And this time, there was no panic attack to stop what we were doing with each other.

Before I even had a chance to think, Adrian kisses my cheek.

I was nowhere near prepared for this. I have no idea on how to respond to this, so I do the same thing back to her.

I don't know exactly why I kissed Linden. I guess that I just kind of panicked.

She kisses my cheek in return, and when she's finished, she intensely blushes.

"You know, you're blushing pretty hard there, Linden. Did you like what I did?"

Is she kidding me? I loved it. As a matter of fact, I want her to do it again.

I just decide to not answer her question.

"You liked it, didn't you, Linden?

"Yeah, I liked it." she signed towards me.

"I thought so."

"Adrian, can I hold your hand?"

"Of course you can, Linden."

Adrian holds her hand out to me, and I put my hand on top of hers, and I intertwine our fingers.

"Why did you kiss me?" I sign towards her.

"I don't know, I think that I might have panicked, and I did it without thinking about it first. I won't do it again if you don't want me to." She replies.